SMH of the Day: “Five to 10 Seconds can get you 5 to 15 years in jail.”

18 04 2008

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Popularity: 37% [?]



Negro Please!: SEOD to Beyonce

2 04 2008

Beyonce on 3/28/08 when her song “accidentally” leaked around on the same day of Kelly’s digital release of her album:

“Yesterday, ‘Beautiful Nightmare,’ a demo I’ve been working on for possible inclusion on my next album, leaked on some websites. I want to thank all my fans for the positive response to the song, but I want to tell you that this is just a work in progress.

It is not my time to put out new music. If you really want to hear some really great music now, you have to support my girls Kelly, Michelle and my sister Solange. Kelly just re-released her album digitally in the US, so check out Ms. Kelly: Diva Deluxe. Michelle is about to put out the first single, ‘We Break The Dawn,’ from her album and Solange’s single, ‘I Decided,’ is already one of my favorites.”

Negro Please!

New Beyonce Track:
Kick Em Out (snippet)

…that mysteriously released itself around the same time Michelle’s releases her new single We Break the Dawn.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 18% [?]



Caption This Too!

1 04 2008

I use to love Da Brat, but she looks like she’s heading to the Million Man March looking for housewives.
Howie: “Da Brat…the bank offers you a dress and a makeover…Deal or No Deal”
Brat: “NO DEAL! (slams down box, and grabs crotch)”

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 18% [?]



Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout My Beeeest Friend

1 04 2008

Rihanna has pulled the “brother/sister” and/or “best friend” card on her relationship with Chris Brown.

Rihanna is hoping to quash rumours she is dating fellow R+B star Chris Brown once and for all - by insisting their relationship is like “brother and sister”.

The pair has caused much speculation over the nature of their relationship since they were photographed frolicking in a Jamaican swimming pool together last month.

They further fuelled rumours last month after they were photographed leaving a London hotel together - but the Umbrella star insists Brown is more like a family member than a love interest.

She says, “I won’t say that we’re just friends - me and Chris are really best, best friends. We both started our careers around the same time. He is one of the only people in the industry … I trust and hang out with all the time.

“We are best friends, honestly, like brother and sister. If he was a boyfriend, I would say that.” (Source)

Mm’hmmmm. I bet they paint each others’ toenails and everything. The wording of this is “statement” so off!

I understand where she was going with this because it’s pretty much the oldest denial trick in the book, but I’m wondering if she consulted with Norbert on this one because… well, you know.

In all seriousness, I think this is a publicity stunt either way because we all know Rihanna is saving herself for Fred Savage and Chris is saving himself for Michael Jackson.

Posted by J

Popularity: 17% [?]



Who in the hell left the gate open?

26 03 2008

BAM!!

BAM again!!

I’ma let y’all tear into these pics. The bloglines are now open.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 22% [?]



Blair Witch + Stupid = Romeo & P. Miller’s New “Film”

19 03 2008

Romeo and his pops Master P will star in a new horror film called The Pig People. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

Rap mogul Percy “Master P” Miller and his son Romeo are preparing to star in their first full-length feature together in the new horror movie The Pig People.

The Pig People will star Romeo as “TJ,” one of five college students who venture into a haunted forest to shoot a documentary for their film class.

The students venture into the woods seeking to debunk an 18th century Louisiana myth surrounding the fearsome, half-human, half-swine “pig people.”

“I’ve never done a horror movie before,” said Romeo, who plans on majoring in film while playing sports at USC.

It’s a different kind of acting and the challenge is really allowing me to take my game to the next level,” Romeo told AllHipHop.com “We’re gonna make the audience jump out of their seats with this.”

In addition to actor Daeg Faerch (Halloween), Romeo’s father, reformed gangsta rapper Master P., is co-starring in the movie as the film’s villain.

The Pig People is being produced by Vault Load Films and directed by David Gueringer and is scheduled to be released in 2009. (Source)

O, RLY Romeo? Some people go to Julliard or even join a Shakespeare troupe down at their local junior college, Romeo does The Pig People to up his acting game. Hey, different strokes for different folks.

I know I’m gonna end up renting this when it comes out straight to DVD some night when I’m bored. Getting drunk and watching movies like this is one of my joys in life. Like I said, different strokes…

Is it me or is something just “off” about father and son working together so much? Maybe I just have a twisted mind but I think it might be time for P to take Keyshia’s advice and “let it go”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]



*Rings the Alarm on Def Jam*

19 03 2008

Rick Ross sold 198,000 copies of his new album Trilla last week, beating out Snoop Dogg for the #1 spot. Uh, Def Jam? You got some ’splaining to do.

Rick Ross comes out on top his first week, leading the pack of new rap releases that also includes debuts from Snoop Dogg and Fat Joe.

Miami rapper Rick Ross is “Speedin’” past Snoop Dogg to the top of the charts. His sophomore album Trilla sold 198,000 units domestically according to Nielsen SoundScan, putting Ross at #1 on this week’s Billboard 200. Trilla features production from J.R. Rotem, Mannie Fresh, The Runners, DJ Toomp and J.U.S.T.I.C.E League.

Snoop Dogg’s Ego Trippin moves 137,000 in its first week; a historically low sales debut for a studio album from the West Coast veteran. Despite the disappointing numbers
Snoop ranks #3 on the charts with his single “Sensual Seduction” still holding steady in the top 10 of Billboard’s Hot 100.

Landing in the #6 spot this week, Fat Joe’s The Elephant in the Room opens with sales of 46,000 copies. Released independently under Terror Squad Entertainment/Imperial records The Elephant in the Room is Joe’s 8th studio album, it includes appearances from J.Holiday, Lil’ Wayne, Plies and KRS-One. (Source)

I can believe that people were sick of “Sensual Seduction”. Like, why buy the album when it plays on every station every five minutes? That I can buy.

But I’m supposed to believe Rick Ross sold 200,000 copies? Were the first 150,000 a door prize at FYE? “Thanks for shopping at FYE! Here’s a pack of gum, some buttons and Rick Ross’ album!”

Def Jam has been known to pad its sales by buying its own artists albums the first week out. I’m sure Rick is cheesing hard as hell right now because if he were still distributed by Slip-N-Slide alone, he and Trina would have had to hit up every Sam Goody in Dade County to “push it to the limit” (i.e., over the 10,000 mark).

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Mo’Nique Goes Guadalajara!

19 03 2008

Mo’Nique attended the launch of ‘Healing Starts With Us’ Campaign at The Malcolm X & Dr. Betty Shabazz Memorial & Educational Center in New York yesterday, but she clearly made a stop south of the border first to get this pancho-like get-up. All that’s missing are the bright colors and a plastic baggie (WITHOUT the zipper) full of chicle. Ugly Betty is jealous!

I keep trying to tell myself it’s not that bad but I keep giving this one the side-eye. What do you guys think?

Posted by J

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Popularity: 30% [?]



Jennifer Hudson (Remember Her?) Performs In A Bathroom

14 03 2008

OK, it’s not as bad as I made it out to sound but I know what my next joke for a washed-up singer is going to be.

Jennifer Hudson performed a new song called “Stand Up” while applying makeup in the mirror. I’m mad at this because it just looks so unnatural, like she was trying to come off like she was just putting on some makeup and her man ran into the room with a camera and caught her SANGIN’. She is squealing on this. It doesn’t sound good to me but I guess some people like that overdone wailing.

This is very “Apollo” to me and it’s crazy because I keep forgetting she won an Oscar.

Peeped at That Grape Juice

Posted by J

Popularity: 41% [?]



The Candyman Can(’t)

12 03 2008

Juelz Santana was busted driving in New Jersey with a suspended license, some pot, hollow-point bullets and a gang of candy. This just can’t be a good combination.

Rapper Juelz Santana is expected to appear in municipal court in New Jersey on Wednesday after police pulled him over for driving with a suspended license and found marijuana and hollow-point bullets in his Bentley, the Daily News has learned.

Santana, 26, whose real name is LaRon James, was arrested last week as he approached the entrance of his home in the gated Glenpointe community in Teaneck.

“This is bull—-,” Santana yelled when pulled over, Officer John Abraham said.

Abraham said he smelled marijuana and saw a green leafy substance on the center console as well as marijuana roaches and Dutch Master and White Owl cigars used to make blunts.

Santana, who was born in Harlem, also had a hand-rolled cigar laced with marijuana in his shoe, cops said.

In the trunk, police said they found 29 hollow-point bullets wrapped in a sock and $19,500 rolled in small bundles and hidden in a plastic bag filled with “hundreds of Jolly Rancher” candies.

Police also found a plastic sandwich bag of marijuana in the backseat of the cruiser, where Santana had been sitting after he was arrested. (Source)

Damn, where was Juelz going, to murk the candy lady who sells Tootsie Pops for a nickel a piece? Was she moving in on his market? I know times are hard since DipSet is breaking up or whatever but I never pictured him turning to the black market candy trade.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



Things That Could’ve Been Brought To My Attention YESTERDAY!

6 03 2008

Dru Hill got back together for a hot second live on the radio and then Woody decided he wanted to go serve God again. As Khia would say, something in the milk ain’t clean with this. Sisqo was just waiting for an opportunity to go for his Best Actress Oscar and he got it here. It just seems too contrived to be real.

I just keep thinking of that quote from Wedding Singer where Adam Sandler screams “ONCE AGAIN, THINGS THAT COULD’VE BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION YESTERDAY!” That’s who Sisqo was channeling in this.

Posted by J

Popularity: 44% [?]



Crunk Grapes

29 02 2008

Get ready to line up around the block at 7-11 for this one! Lil’ Jon is putting out his own brand of wine.

The wine, called Little Jonathan Winery, reportedly includes a merlot, chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon. The wine is already being distributed in California and will hit shelves within the next two months. (Source)

LITTLE JONATHAN?! That sounds like the name of a doll or something. Don’t you get Chucky vibes?

As for this wine, I’ve never had a taste for cat piss mixed with red Kool-Aid and a hint of Bushmills, so I probably won’t be a fan of this.

Posted by J

Popularity: 48% [?]



Corbin Keeps It Trill

25 02 2008

There’s another interview floating around with Corbin Bleu from a Swedish Magazine. I really don’t care about Corbin or know anything he does besides be in High School Musical and apply Ebony Fashion Fair products on a regular basis, but these interviews of his are too hilarious to pass up. The quotations are outrageous! Sometimes I think it’s someone posing as him to make him look bad.

Some highlights:

Do you believe in spirits?
“Yes, I’m absolutely sure there is something else out there. And if it’s not ghosts, I guess it’s angels or something. I remember once when I woke up and all my toothpaste was outside the tube. Maybe someone joked with me, but I got really scared.

Tell us a secret!
“I love to get [a] massage! As an actor I’m always traveling, and it’s hard to get time for myself. Even if I’m not at work I can never be alone since there are fans requesting photos and autographs. But when I get massage I get the possibility to relax and think in peace. Fabulous!

When was the last time you were grounded?
“Two years ago. They took my phone too. That was hard! I came home really late from a party, much later than the time they said. I didn’t mean to, I fell asleep at a friends house.” (More)

LOL @ spirits taking all his toothpaste. What?! And massages are “fabulous”. Mmm’hmmmm.

He stayed out late at a friend’s house, O RLY?! I’m not even going to go there because it’s almost too easy.

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Arnold Found Himself Some Fresh Ginger Meat

12 02 2008

Gary Coleman married a 22 year-old woman in secret last August and is now telling the world about it. This article is just a mess and it’s so obvious they are gunning for a VH1 and/or E! reality show. I don’t think even they would stoop this low but I could see Lifetime or WE Network going for it.

Former child star Gary Coleman – who’s now 40 – married Shannon Price, whom he’d met on a movie set, last Aug. 28, her 22nd birthday, Coleman reveals to Inside Edition.

The onetime Diff’rent Strokes star also admits that this is his first-time-ever romantic relationship.

“I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone,” he says. “I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

The couple’s nuptials happened, “on a mountaintop,” according to Coleman. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us. That was all that was there. There was nobody else.”

Not that the newlyweds don’t have their differences. “We may go a week and not speak to each other,” he says, while she claims, “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes. … He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.”

She adds, “I don’t like the violence.”

Then there is the fact that he stands 4′8″, while she is more than 5′7″. But, says the bride: “He was 10 feet tall to me, because he was sweet and I really liked his personality.”

As for the 18 years between them, “I don’t have issues with age, I have issues with intelligence,” says Coleman. “She’s more intelligent than I am, and that’s what matters to me.”

Price handles the sale of Coleman’s memorabilia on e-Bay, and says that when she met him on the set of the movie Church Ball she wasn’t aware of his fame.

“I didn’t grow up with Diff’rent Strokes,” she says. “I actually didn’t like watching TV when I was younger.” (Source)

A mess at him admitting he’s never been with anyone else. I mean, some of you might clown, but I’m actually kind of surprised by this. I can picture some nasty groupies trying to get at Todd Bridges and settling for Gary. You mean to tell me he’s never found one of those freakniks who has a midget fetish?

He THROWS THINGS AT HER? That mental image is almost too funny for me to imagine. If Gary Coleman tried to get brolic with me, I’d put my hand on his forehead. I ain’t going out like that.

LMAO @ her saying she didn’t grow up on “Diff’rent Strokes”. Wasn’t that show already off the air by the time she was born?

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Boosie Can Get You Arrested in Florida. What About Flo-Rida?

5 02 2008

A 19-year-old man was arrested in Brookville, Florida on Sunday (February 3) for singing a Lil Boosie song with explicit lyrics in the presence of children. According to Tampa Bay’s News 10, Amy Churchill, the children’s mother, called the police to report that Christopher Holder was yelling out profanities a he walked with two younger kids on Brookville’s Gordon Loop. An offense report notes that Churchill explained that she did not think her children should have to hear that sort of language. When deputies arrived, Holder explained that he was just singing a song by Baton Rouge artist Lil Boosie. The report revealed that Holder himself told the deputies that he didn’t believe that children should have to hear profanity either. Nonetheless, he was taken to the Hernando County jail and charged with disorderly conduct. It is unclear which Boosie track Holder was singing. (Jacked from XXL)

*Dead, buried & “crankin’ dat” with the angels*

No seriously, really!? We need to ride by this woman’s house playing “Pu**y Rel Good” by Jacki-O or “My Neck, My Back” by Khia. She needs to get it together. I’m sure the children at her kids school cuss more than a Lil’ Boosie song.

Have you heard little kids mouths’ these days? I was in Albertson’s Sunday night and some lady was cussing at her daughter cause she was putting stuff in the basket. “Stop fu*king putting stuff in the basket Suzy! You’re being spoiled!” The little girl said, “I’m putting this in the fu*king basket because I want it!” and proceeded to throw a tantrum on Aisle 6. I wanted to take my belt off for her! Suzy Q. wasn’t having that though.

I mean, at least in “Wipe Me Down” Boosie was talkin’ about the “Ninja Turtles.” LOL, she needs to hit rewind.

The day they arrest me for singing is the day I strap a bomb onto myself and go blow something up. First stop? Bad Boy LOL! What is this, Big Brother?!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 23% [?]