Enough Stank In One Room To Alert HAZMAT

25 04 2008

Best of Both Worlds albums are the new white belt. I’m sure Raven-Symone and Lil Mama are planning theirs as we speak. From AHH Rumors:

T-Pain said that he is going to be doing a Best of Both World’s with a Hip-Hop Artist. All of a sudden T-Pain’s people on stage start singing Lil’ Wayne’s hit “Lollipop.” AHA! I think we can deduce that the BOBW won’t be with T.I. if they are singing Lil’ Wayne joints!

This album is gonna come with a gas mask. Imagine the stench coming from that studio? Menthol cigarettes, Filet-o-Fishes, dookie dreads and six year-old codeine a pleasant scent DO NOT MAKE.

I guess if you think about it this is fitting because it brings together two people who would do a collaboration with a wild boar if they were high enough/it paid well.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]



Video: R. Kelly - “Hairbraider”

24 04 2008

R. Kelly is getting too old for this shit. Or maybe I am. I could barely sit through this. I couldn’t sit through this. I fast forwarded to the very end where he was looking like a brokedown Dennis Rodman.

This song sounds like every Ciara and T-Pain song from the past six months rolled into one. I’d rather hear Chapter Fifty-Leven of “Trapped In The Closet”.

Thanks Antina

Posted by J

Popularity: 33% [?]



Laugh of the Day: T-Pain & Akon Get Lunch

3 04 2008

This is just a mess. I died off when Akon said “Did you read them at all?” in that tone with a furrowed brow. It really got messy when Snoop came in the picture.

This really would have been off the chains if they had pulled out Zapp Band and had them calling these fools out for jacking their steelo. I’m just sayin’. Sequel maybe? Put me down for producer on that.

Thanks Bref_Stank & MissOMyGoodnezz

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Video: Lil’ Mama - “Shawty Get Loose” Feat. Chris Brown & T-Pain

30 01 2008


FINALLY the video for the pictures that had Lil’ Mama lookin’ like Laurence Fishburne in The Matrix’s long lost daughter Neyetta or some ish!

I actually like this video…the little microphone thing is kind of zesty…and the graphics/set design were very MJ/JJ “Scream”…but besides that, I don’t mind it at all. I do like the beat to this song…I hate to admit it. I think Chris Brown doesn’t bring anything musically (star power only), but to the video, he made it very lively. His faces alone were enough to entertain me. That and T-Pain’s Missy Elliott-esque pop-locking.

I watched the “Access Granted” today though — and WOW if Chris Brown’s skin wasn’t bad. I mean, dude is growing up, so I was like, whatever. What made me laugh is them trying to “fix” it in post-production. They washed out his parts SO much in order to smooth his skin out.

Just throw some Pancake 51 on that child and call it a wrap!

Iono, Lil’ Mama…girl is talented. She can dance, and she has a great flow. I really have to stop and pay attention though to get all the words in her verses LOL. She’s on her 3rd single though…they are really sticking with her. If she doesn’t get some traction from this, I feel the “Voice of the Young People” will be kicked in the throat and silenced before anyone even got a chance to listen!

She still looks so mannish though, even with those massive amounts of Yaki. Her wigs were cute though. Po’ thang.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 21% [?]



New Music From Around The Web

22 01 2008

Usually I find all these joints, but by the time I get around to posting them, it’s 3 days later LOL. So I’ve collected some of the music that’s been sent to us, that other sites have posted and the like. Enjoy!

Posted by The IPS

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Popularity: 49% [?]



New Music & Photos: “Shawty Get Loose” // On Set of Lil’ Mama’s “Shawty Get Loose”

16 01 2008


Carrie-Ann Moss + Strange’ had a baby ya’ll.

Lil’ Mama - “Shawty Get Loose” Feat. T-Pain & Chris Brown (Remix)

This pic right here is a TRAGEDY.

I have high hopes for Lil’ Mama but she is SO VERY SKRONG in the face. Her Lil’ Kim “How Many Licks” look + Bobby Jones hot pants + Solange’s weave = A Hot Mess. Can you believe she’s on her 3rd single? At least they are sticking with her. They released this song a while ago with her, but I guess they figure with T-Pain and CB she will have a shot. Po’ thang.

I’m glad she’s the Voice of the Young People and all that, but I hope they don’t start rocking this look in the 18+ club. I will seriously walk around with a leather belt and just start poppin’ these little girls on they hot a**es cause CLEARLY they ain’t getting it at home.

Anyway, check the song above (which I kind of like) and check the rest of the pics after the jump!

Posted by The IPS

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Popularity: 34% [?]



Mariah Just Lost 50-11 Points In My Book

3 01 2008

Really!? Please tell me she didn’t go the easy route and put her whispering and cooing with T-Pain’s “I, Robot” warbling. I am so through. 2K8 is already starting off a hot mess. I’m bout to move to Tennessee and listen to Carrie Underwood all day. I can’t take these bastardizations of music! Sweet Minty Jesus wipe me down with a Temptations record. Can we resurrect Berry Gordy from retirement? Bueller? Bueller?

Hollyscoop reports the following from Mariah’s New Year’s Eve Party at TAO, Las Vegas:

Mariah closed the night by playing her new track “Migrate” which features T-Pain.

MariahDailyJournal is able to confirm that Migrate (in addition to Heat) is indeed a new song title from Mariah’s upcoming album. It is however, at this point, unknown whether or not it will be the first single.

“It’s Like That,” the first single from The Emancipation of Mimi was first played by Mariah at the New Year’s Eve 2005 Party she hosted at the PURE night club in Las Vegas on December 31, 2004. (source)

What would Tommy Mottola do (after he flipped it, smacked it, and rubbed it down)? Not this foolishness.

She needs a banger. I’m a fan, and if the song is catchy or whatever, I will probably like after a billion spins on my MP3 player. But come on folks, T-Pain is not the messiah of R&B! He is already on the radio 6 songs an hour with 6 different songs including 2 of his.

I’m not mad he’s making bank, but then people wonder why people aren’t investing in music any longer. Who wants to hear T-Pain 8 times an hour!? Let’s get real. Next thing her little doggie will be doing solo spots on DMX’s new Gospel album. I am so through with music sometimes!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 27% [?]



I WISH The 2Pacalypse Was Upon Us

28 12 2007

Ummm…

Flo Rida has the #1 record in the country. His song “Low” featuring Teddy Pendmyearsdownbleeding unseated Alicia Keys‘ “No One,” which had been on top of the charts for 5 weeks. 178,000 people bought it and it had increased airplay.  WHY!? But Alicia isn’t dead YET.

On Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs, Keys becomes only the second artist since this chart began using Nielsen Music data in 1992 to succeed herself at No. 1, as “Like You’ll Never See Me Again” jumps 2-1 and trades places with “No One,” which had ruled for 10 weeks. Nelly accomplished the feet in 2002 with “Hot in Herre” and “Dilemma.” (source)

While “No One” had to grow on me with all that constant straining she does on that song (”When the rain is falling dowwwwwwwwwwwn!” LAWDY!), I’d rather hear that than “shawty got loow looow looooow” featuring Chocolate Predator Pain on voicebox.

I just don’t get it…I really just don’t get it. Who is calling in and requesting these songs? Dude says “Apple bottoms” like, 50-11 times. Are we not tired of strip clubs and big ass and titties?! 2nd thought, don’t answer that. I want to keep hope alive!

*superman’s that hoe in the club*

Maybe I am jealous since the only place I make it rain at is in the shower. That water falls dowwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn like Alicia’s “Itchy & Scratchy” vocals.

Wait — WHO EVEN LISTENS TO THE RADIO!?

And wait a minute, what happened to Nelly’s song “Wadsyaname”?! That song came and went faster than a 40 Year Old Virgin in a Las Vegas hoe-ranch. Sheiza!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 62% [?]



Video: Dolla - “Who The F*!$ Is That” Feat. T-Pain & Tay-Dizm

4 12 2007



Dolla - Who The Fuck Is That (feat. T-Pain & Tay Dizm)

Never has a title been more apropos than in this case. “Who The F!#$ Is That” INDEED!

Who is this guy, Yung Berg’s little brother? He kinda looks like a light-skinned 10% retarded cousin of Trey Songz. And what in the name of Patti LaBelle is a Tay Dizm!? T-Pain just putting EVERYBODY on.

Anyway, I’m not mad at T-Pain for getting his paper up, but I mean, CLAUDE HAMMERCY! Dude is on every.song. There is something called overexposure Testicular Pain. I think he’s giving out beats/guest spots for $20, a 6-pack of Juicy Juice, a hairstylist to touch up them dreads, 3 packs of Orbit. Ay dios mio. Throw Weezy on this momofoku and you’d have a remix ready to go.

This song should have came out 6 months ago, but even then, it would STILL be wack. At least you could maybe get buck in the club with it. Since it’s winter time now, that means we actually have to listen to the lyrics. Blah.

Cameos: Akon, DJ Unk…and some other negroes.

Alrighty then, someone call Al B. Sure. I guess light-skinned is trying to make a comeback! How you go from Akon to Dolla in one video BOGGLES me though. Night and Day up in that piece. LOL. Let me quit.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 15% [?]



Damn, Why They Wanna Stick Him For His Paper?

30 11 2007


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Watch the video above — remember that? Akon, HAHA! That’s what you get.

Hip-hop star Akon has been charged by police after a fan said she suffered concussion when he allegedly threw a teenager off stage, hitting her.

The incident occurred in June at Dutchess Stadium in Fishkill, north of New York City.

The singer is scheduled to appear in court next week on charges of endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment.

Injured fan Abby Rosa said she had hired a lawyer over the incident.

Audience members at the concert told Associated Press a spectator lobbed something at the singer and Akon asked the crowd to point out the culprit.

A security guard picked out a 15-year-old and sent him up to the stage, where Akon is said to have picked him up onto his shoulders and threw him into the crowd.

Abby Rosa said the boy landed on her. She told a local newspaper she was later diagnosed with a concussion. (source)

Well, you know what? I think we should file a class-action lawsuit. I get a concussion and massive hemoraghing in my ears whenever I listen to “Don’t Matter.” Can I get paid too?

Real talk though, why is the dude WHO GOT THROWN not filing charges? Did I miss something? Whatever, Akon is skimming all of T-Pain’s profits so I’m sure he will be fine. He’ll have to cut back on his “Coming to America” harem for a week or two so he can pay off that girl. He’ll just sub-in Testicular Pain instead. LOL!

T-Pain: “The Royal Penis is clean your highness!”
Akon: “Thank you Testicular Pain. You live up to your name highly!”

Cause ya’ll know T-Pain likes big meats ROFL. *Terry McMillan Side Eye Of Death*

*dead at myself*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]



Video: Flo-Rida - “Low” Feat. T-Pain

11 11 2007



Flo-Rida - Low (feat. T-Pain)

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!

In the first 5 seconds, T-Pain’s vocals came on and I cried out to Sweet Minty Jesus to let the Spirit of Roger & Zapp be released from this earthly plain in the name!!!!!

With lines like, “Make it rain? / I make it snow!” and whatever the hell else he is mumbling, Flo-Rida needs to get stand in line behind Yung Berg for the “Are N*ggas Even Trying Anymore!?” Award. I am done.

T-Pain needs to be put back in his Monchichi cage because he did A) the running man and b) the thunderclap.  I think it’s safe to say that I’m over this dude, y/n? I think I saw him breaking it down “Big Momma’s House 2″ style, like she did with the lil’ white cheerleader girls. “Put some stank on it!”

I think T-Pain has that covered. He’s semi-channeling Lil’ John’s looks now…

Atlantic seriously sucks. No wonder Warner stock is worth like a Happy Meal and some belly button lint. THIS IS WHAT THEY THINK WE WILL BUY!?

I’m logging off,  shutting down and tossing this bia out the window.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 14% [?]



T-Pain arrested in Florida

2 11 2007

R&B singer and producer T-Pain was arrested this morning (November 2) in Florida by Leon County Sheriff officers for outstanding warrants in Tallahassee.

According to reports, T-Pain, born Faheem Najm, is charged with a non-moving traffic violation and driving with a suspended license.

The arrest comes one day before FAMU’s homecoming, where T-Pain, Lil’ Wayne, Lil’ Boosie and others are scheduled to perform

Source 

Posted by Erin T.

Popularity: 17% [?]



Video: T-Pain - “Church”

20 10 2007


T-Pain - “Church”

What kind of foolywang tomfoolery 15% retarded monchichi lookin’ biznazz is this?!

What is the point of this video? I challenge you tap-dance/Cosby style to tell me.

HOW T-Pain is still around boggles my mind. I’m not mad, dude is getting his money. But I just…I don’t get it. It makes my SOUL ache that T-Pain is making music and…well, someone else isn’t.

But whatevs, I feel like he ran up on a Bone Thug N Harmony and jacked em for their steez, put an interesting beat behind it, threw in some 1/2 way done Omarion dance steps and poses, and called it a wrap.

And Bryan Barber directed this video!? I am so disappointed in him for this.

Lastly, Yung Joc showed up and didn’t even put up a fight when T-Pain stole his makeup artist from the “Coffee Shop” video.

“Hard & B” my dear Aunt Sally! He sounds like someone with Tourette’s swallowed a kazoo. I am done. I’m turnin’ in my pink slip and taking my good stapler with me!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 14% [?]



For the love of all that is holy, stop interviewing T-Pain

11 06 2007

T-Pain and the media want me dead.

There is no other way to explain this phenomena of him being interviewed every three seconds about shit he really has no business talking about. And by that, I mean nothing, because he really should just keep his mouth shut at all times. I mean, just look at the picture. Does this look like an individual who has any knowledge of important issues, much less an interesting sound byte to give?

In this most recent vaguely coherent, incredibly unintelligent moment, T-Pain spoke to Yahoo! about working with Britney Spears, and somehow R. Kelly came into the mix (?! I told you, THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!):

“That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, ‘Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.’ She still had hair and all that [when I worked with her]. People were like, ‘We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.’ She went… ‘Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?’ You can’t hate R. Kelly. You can’t hate Britney Spears because you know what, no matter what Britney Spears been doing, she’s still on TV. Every time I say something about her, people are like, ‘For real, Britney Spears. How was that?’ You can’t get rid of these people no matter what they do. R. Kelly, 16 years in the game, one incident can’t take away the last 15 years.”

There’s so much going on in this paragraph I feel as though I’ve spun around in a circle three times and then tried to read it. I would say T-Pain was not only drunk on “Tussin” during this interview, he was listening to “I Am Not My Hair” immediately previous to it. And what exactly do Britney Spears and R. Kelly have to do with each other, besides both being trainwrecks? I mean, I know Britney is white trash and all, but let us not be cruel and lump her in the same category as someone who treats high school girls like an outhouse.

Posted by J

Popularity: 5% [?]



T-Pain: “I was eating mayonnaise out of a jar”

11 06 2007

Dookie Dreads told MSNBC he was close to giving up his musical dreams when he was so broke he went to get a job at McDonald’s and was eating mayonnaise out of a jar.

“Yes. The most horrible time was the day that Akon called me. He called me right when I went to get my application from McDonald’s. I was giving up. I was literally in my dad’s house renting my studio out, running it off of a generator outside. People couldn’t even record. The people who lived behind us was calling the police because of the noise ordinance because they heard the generator all day and all night. I was eating mayonnaise out of the jar. It was bad. I used to sit in front of McDonald’s and ask people for dollars to get me a cheeseburger. It was bad. Then that one day I went to go get that application. I had been hanging out in front of there so much I knew the managers and all. I had no problem getting a job or anything. I went to go get that application and that’s when Akon called me.”

Look, I’m glad T-Pain isn’t broke anymore (I think), but all I’m saying is, for someone who’s “doin’ big thangs” now he certainly still looks like a McDonald’s employee, and especially someone who eats mayonnaise jugs at a time.

Posted by J

Popularity: 3% [?]