…and let this be a lesson to you youngins…

16 04 2008


…PULL YOUR FUTHAMUCKIN PANTS UP!
I know that cop’s face was red as hell.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 13% [?]



You Gon’ Break Something… It’s Probably Vital, Too

9 03 2008

I saw this over at Noticias Chismes and almost fell out. Janet Jackson tried — and I really do mean tried, this chick tried her damnedest — to teach Larry King’s prehistoric ass a simple dance move. You know what, Larry tried pretty hard, too. For someone who was around when dirt was invented, it’s probably hard to sit still without quivering much less stand on two feet and do some “Feed-BAAAH, Feed-BAAAH!”

I actually got scared when she was telling him to smack his chest and he was doing it kind of hard. Careful there are you might send that ticker into arrest.

At least this puts to bed my theory that they’ve had a hologram up there since the mid ’90s. Larry will probably outlive me AND my little bastards children. It’s gonna be him, roaches, and twinkies after the Armageddon hits.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]



Saaphyri’s Lip Chap Will Probably Give You A Happy Ending, Too

3 03 2008

Saaphyri’s been trying to push this Lip Chap shit ever since she won “Charm School”. Now there’s a commercial for it, which will probably air late at night in between spots for “Girls Gone Wild” and The Pussycat Theater.

I guess she spent all that prize money on developing the actual product with about $15.37 left over for marketing. Hope it was worth it!

I fell the fuck out when she said “You want some Lip Chap?” in her best sexy voice, then proceeded to LICK THE CHAP OFF HER FINGER. Is this shit edible too? It’s like PlayDoh or something? Let me know because that’s a stone that kills two birds. What?! I’m poor.

Props to Kamo for the heads up.

Posted by J

Popularity: 42% [?]



Give Cousin Elsie A Kiss

29 02 2008

I know “dressing up”, “appearances”, “looking non-alien” — these things have never been Macy Gray’s forte. It’s not what she’s about. But I’m mad at her looking like Cousin Elsie from “In Living Color”. This is out of hand.

Did she just land a plane in that jacket? She looks like one of those pilots who gets twisted at the bar before takeoff.

I don’t know, she looks crazy, but is this Mess of the Moment worthy? I’ll leave it up to you guys. I was thinking of letting her slide.

Posted by J

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Janet & Fido Signing Copies Of ‘Discipline’; Best Buy, NYC

27 02 2008

Janet came out to the Best Buy in Times Square wearing a maltipoo on her head to sign copies of her new album Discipline. I’m still laughing at those skits she did for MTV so I’m going to let this slide.

This question is strictly for the non-stans, because I know y’all already got 17 copies on pre-order, but how are the rest of you feeling about buying this album? I will admit “Feedback” has grown on me but I’m not sure if it’s enough for me to take interest in a full album. How about everyone else?

Two more pics after the jump. (Image source)

Posted by J

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Corbin Keeps It Trill

25 02 2008

There’s another interview floating around with Corbin Bleu from a Swedish Magazine. I really don’t care about Corbin or know anything he does besides be in High School Musical and apply Ebony Fashion Fair products on a regular basis, but these interviews of his are too hilarious to pass up. The quotations are outrageous! Sometimes I think it’s someone posing as him to make him look bad.

Some highlights:

Do you believe in spirits?
“Yes, I’m absolutely sure there is something else out there. And if it’s not ghosts, I guess it’s angels or something. I remember once when I woke up and all my toothpaste was outside the tube. Maybe someone joked with me, but I got really scared.

Tell us a secret!
“I love to get [a] massage! As an actor I’m always traveling, and it’s hard to get time for myself. Even if I’m not at work I can never be alone since there are fans requesting photos and autographs. But when I get massage I get the possibility to relax and think in peace. Fabulous!

When was the last time you were grounded?
“Two years ago. They took my phone too. That was hard! I came home really late from a party, much later than the time they said. I didn’t mean to, I fell asleep at a friends house.” (More)

LOL @ spirits taking all his toothpaste. What?! And massages are “fabulous”. Mmm’hmmmm.

He stayed out late at a friend’s house, O RLY?! I’m not even going to go there because it’s almost too easy.

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Lindsay Lohan As Marilyn Monroe — Yes, I Kid You Not

18 02 2008

Bert Stern, the same photog who snapped the most famous pictures ever taken of Marilyn Monroe, decided to re-enact the shoot with New York Magazine with Lindsay Lohan because he sees them as similar figures. Uh. Forget rolling, Marilyn is doing the Spongebob in that grave.

The worst part is Lindsay has a nice body. But those FRECKLES. Good Lord! It looks like someone intermittently sprinkled brown sugar all over her ass. She’s got nice tatas though. So I’m gonna let the Party City wig and the spottieottiedopaliscious slide. Nah I can’t even excuse this. It was still a bad idea. They should have at least Photoshopped that mess to a minimum.

Warning: Pics NSFW!

Posted by J

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In The Name of Samwell, I REBUKE THEE! New Gnarls Promo Pics

13 02 2008

Wow, ummm………………………….

……………………..*blank stare*

Peep these new Gnarls Barkley promo pics for their upcoming album. Now, OK, I know Gnarls Barkley are supposed to be all eclectic and zen and WHATEVER, but whomever’s idea it was to put Cee-Lo in a wedding dress Dennis Rodman-style needs to be immediately taken out back and flogged. DO NOT WANT.

And it’s not that Cee-Lo is ZESTY per say, but this is exhibiting zestay-like TENDENCIES. I’m just saying.

Danger Mouse is Kevin Michael in 10 years ROFL. Cee-Lo WOULD be the one wearing the dress though! WHY LO!? WHY!? “Closet Freak” indeed.

I have no words. I am truly speechless. I’m sure this “represents” seem deep explanation of how they are married to their music, blah blah blah, but just…no.

Again, I ask: What Would Marvin Gaye do!?

*dies and cranks dat with Ike Turner*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 42% [?]



Soulja Boy In 5 Years = Coolio As A Fish Now

31 01 2008

I don’t need Sylvia Browne & Montel Williams to predict Soulja Boy’s future — Coolio is the living legend who already serves as the template LOL. Jibbs, Mims, Arab, Pop It Off Boyz, Jason Fox, Shawty Lo…invest that money right or you’ll be on an Internet TV channel looking like a Chuck E. Cheese character very, very soon.

Seriously, you know what? Where are his friends? It ain’t even Red Lobster paying him to look like that!

*Warms up some butter and garlic sauce*

If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em!

Spotted at XXL

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 36% [?]



What Does Bill Clinton Dream About? It Ponders Me.

22 01 2008

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I fall asleep during church ALL.THE.TIME. I sneak a Red Bull in my bible case just cause I KNOW that Sleeping Demon is gonna sneak up and sit on my eyelids LOL. So I ain’t mad at Bill Clinton.

I fall asleep in church cause I ain’t get home from the club & Roscoe’s until 4 AM. Bill falls asleep because he has to pet-sit Hilary all night long. Get ya nod on Mr. Ex-President!

Tell whoever you dreaming about that I said “BARACK OBAMA IS GONNA WHOOP YO WIFE’S TAIL! RUNTELDAT!”

Thanks Jaime for sending this one in LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 24% [?]



Ja Rule, Now You Know How WE Feel!

22 01 2008

 

LOL, it took him this long to realize how terrible that song was? Hindsight is 20/20 MOMOFOOKA!

Ja Rule cringed and covered his ears when his J.Lo duet “I’m Real” played during a Clippers game in Los Angeles. Sorry, Ja — some mistakes are built to last! (Source)

If he just cringes on this song, I wonder if he goes into conniptions and seizures when his “hit” duet with Ashanti on “Mesmerize” comes on? That song & video gives me hives. Ja Rule ain’t been good since Lil’ Mo was “putting it on him”. I actually liked “Holla Holla” — I should throwback that.

If I had been at that game, and a couple rows up, and sitting behind a big white man or something (LOL!), I would have TOTALLY thrown some licorice at that wombat lookin’ negro LOL!

As soon as I heard that opening line, “What’s my muthaf*ckin’ ______” *throws cup of soda*

LOL. However, I will say that I didn’t think “Body” the song was THAT bad. The video is another story. Ja Rule can’t catch a break no more LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 24% [?]



Rihanna In FHM Russia or Germany?

11 01 2008


Spotted at ONTD

“I can’t stand the rain! Against my window!” - Ann Peebles (NOT Missy Elliott, thanks!)

Wow, this is what R. Kelly must feel like when looking at a Seventeen magazine. Well, maybe not, cause I feel dirty and wrong and he probably wouldn’t.

My academic, respectful side says the over-sexualization of our young women has got to stop!
My loins & inner man say yes plz with a side of helllllloooooooooo tittayballs! *cough* Sorry.

This is for you Bref_Stank LOL! I see you my dude!

Ri-ri is getting bold in her old age LOL. I guess Suga Sweet Daddy Jay said that she needed to push another 200K units on his way out the door at Def Jam or she would have to “eat the cake.” He put her on the hoe-stroll in Russia Germany- like we wouldn’t see or find out! Gotta love the internets. Click for full-size pictures. Slight nudity, may be NSFW.

Edit: Some folks say this is German and that these are Photoshopped. *shrugs* LOL.

More after the lumps jump!

Posted by The IPS

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Eddie’s Wedding Pic

4 01 2008

Tracey KNOW she is too fine. I mean, I will say this for Eddie — his beards are TOP NOTCH.

I bet you Johnny caught the bouquet! LOL, let me quit.

They just friends.

Oops, I had to dodge that lightning bolt from Sweet Minty Jesus for telling that lie!

If anyone cares, they are having a US ceremony too. I guess the first one didn’t really “count,” as it was more ceremonial.

Wait, so was the first one just a run through to see how Johnny would react? LOL. I can’t get that Vesta video out of my head though! Erin was a fool for that….

I bet they bound and gagged Johnny on the “Is there anyone that objects, speak now or forever hold your peace…”

I’m just saying.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]



Sorry Johnny

2 01 2008

I never really thought that this relationship would make it to this stage ( never said it was going to last ) but it did. Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy were married yesterday in a New Years Day Celebration on a private island off Bora Bora.

In a sunset ceremony on the beach Tuesday, Edmonds walked barefoot down the aisle to Gladys Knight’s “Makings of You.” The bride wore a custom-designed form-fitting dress by stylist and designer Sugia Nazel and Jill Baracci, designer and owner of Baracci boutique.

Murphy wore a cream suit and vest with an off-white handkerchief.

Among the guests were best man Johnny Gill, maid of honor Nicole Avant, matron of honor Julie Lev, as well as Edmonds’s parents Jacqueline and George McQuarn, her brother Michael, Murphy’s mother Lillian Lynch and his brother Vernon.

Edmonds, 40, gave her bridesmaids gold and diamond earrings from XIV Karats in Beverly Hills, and Murphy, 46, gave his groomsmen D.Atlantis watches.

Source

I’m sorry, but it’s kind of odd that Eddie and his wife basically divorced because Eddie was supposedly with Johnny and now Johnny was the best man? I know he was hurt! I wonder how big of a check Eddie has to write him a month to keep him from snitching? I know him living in the pool house isn’t keeping him quiet. The throwback video I’m about to post goes out to Johnny because that was pretty low and I know he is laid out on the bathroom floor with a bottle of Knob Creek in his hand.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Vesta - Congratulations

Posted by Erin T.

Popularity: 21% [?]



AHM! Picture Post: Omarion & Bow Wow Release Party

13 12 2007

Does Grimace have to pee? What’s going on in this pic?! Did ya’ll know his real name is Tevion LaCorey Mathis? Yeah, WireImage busted him out ROFL.

LOL, I am a couple of days late on this one (Dec. 11th). Picture posts take SO much time to make. But when I saw these pictures, I couldn’t resist. These two…the zestiness never ends. I mean, you know, we will never really know unless they bust the door of the closet down R. Kelly “Trapped in the Closet” style (Rufus!), but CLAUDE HAMMUSSY they aren’t making it any easier on us black bloggers. I got jokes for days from these pictures. Enjoy.

Pics after the jump! Click any pic for larger version. No hot-linking!

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