Methalicious

12 03 2008

Boy, for someone who hates being known for being a former meth head so much, Fergie sure talks about it a lot.

“I had about 20 different conspiracy theories. I painted the windows in my apartment black so ‘they’ couldn’t see in,” the star admitted. She also explained how she believed everyone was against her, even a potential good Samaritan. “One day, when I was about 90 pounds, a guy comes up to me… I’m searching in the bushes for clues about whatever they’re after me for. I’m in a cowboy hat and red lips. He hands me a muffin. I’m thinking, he’s in on it.” (Source)

Is she sure she isn’t confusing her life with the plotline to Pulse?

I think if I had my choice between being a crackhead and a meth head I would definitely go with crack because I don’t think they would turn down a muffin if they were offered it. I’d eat that bitch up and then go walking down the street looking for the free crack giveaway while Fergie’s in your planter box playing Sherlock Holmes.

P.S. Extra brownie points to anyone who can name the movie my new category tag is from.

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Give Cousin Elsie A Kiss

29 02 2008

I know “dressing up”, “appearances”, “looking non-alien” — these things have never been Macy Gray’s forte. It’s not what she’s about. But I’m mad at her looking like Cousin Elsie from “In Living Color”. This is out of hand.

Did she just land a plane in that jacket? She looks like one of those pilots who gets twisted at the bar before takeoff.

I don’t know, she looks crazy, but is this Mess of the Moment worthy? I’ll leave it up to you guys. I was thinking of letting her slide.

Posted by J

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Popularity: 48% [?]



Ride Or Die

18 02 2008

Amy Winehouse out and about sporting what looks like a tear-drop tattoo — holding it down for her BLAKE INCARCERATED!

It could be eyeliner. I don’t really know. But what I do know is I wouldn’t mess with Amy Winehouse if I saw her walking down the street. If she grew up here in the States she probably would have joined a gang and beat all the bitches down when they jumped her in. In fact, I’m gonna call her “La Loca Amy” from now on.

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]



Arnold Found Himself Some Fresh Ginger Meat

12 02 2008

Gary Coleman married a 22 year-old woman in secret last August and is now telling the world about it. This article is just a mess and it’s so obvious they are gunning for a VH1 and/or E! reality show. I don’t think even they would stoop this low but I could see Lifetime or WE Network going for it.

Former child star Gary Coleman – who’s now 40 – married Shannon Price, whom he’d met on a movie set, last Aug. 28, her 22nd birthday, Coleman reveals to Inside Edition.

The onetime Diff’rent Strokes star also admits that this is his first-time-ever romantic relationship.

“I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone,” he says. “I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

The couple’s nuptials happened, “on a mountaintop,” according to Coleman. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us. That was all that was there. There was nobody else.”

Not that the newlyweds don’t have their differences. “We may go a week and not speak to each other,” he says, while she claims, “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes. … He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.”

She adds, “I don’t like the violence.”

Then there is the fact that he stands 4′8″, while she is more than 5′7″. But, says the bride: “He was 10 feet tall to me, because he was sweet and I really liked his personality.”

As for the 18 years between them, “I don’t have issues with age, I have issues with intelligence,” says Coleman. “She’s more intelligent than I am, and that’s what matters to me.”

Price handles the sale of Coleman’s memorabilia on e-Bay, and says that when she met him on the set of the movie Church Ball she wasn’t aware of his fame.

“I didn’t grow up with Diff’rent Strokes,” she says. “I actually didn’t like watching TV when I was younger.” (Source)

A mess at him admitting he’s never been with anyone else. I mean, some of you might clown, but I’m actually kind of surprised by this. I can picture some nasty groupies trying to get at Todd Bridges and settling for Gary. You mean to tell me he’s never found one of those freakniks who has a midget fetish?

He THROWS THINGS AT HER? That mental image is almost too funny for me to imagine. If Gary Coleman tried to get brolic with me, I’d put my hand on his forehead. I ain’t going out like that.

LMAO @ her saying she didn’t grow up on “Diff’rent Strokes”. Wasn’t that show already off the air by the time she was born?

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Shawty Is Da Shit

7 02 2008

Now this is just NASTY. I don’t even know where to begin. Tyra Banks done went numero dos on herself.

Former New York “It” boy and Paper magazine blogger Fabian Basabe writes on his blog today that the supermodel turned TV personality, um, soiled herself at Fashion Week. Basabe was filming an interview in the W suite at the tents, and suddenly a whole cadre of people barged in and kicked him out. The reason? Tyra needed to change her clothes. Because of the incident. Apparently they had a spare change of clothes all lined up which makes him wonder if it’s happened before. (Source)

Knowing her stupid ass, this is probably going to be turned into a segment for her show. “What it’s like to have to wear adult diapers”. SMH.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]



Video: Laurieann Gibson - “Addictive”

6 02 2008


OMG OMG OMG OMG

DO
NOT
WANT.

I was *dead* in the first 15 seconds when it said “Somewhere in Boom-Kack, NY”! Not only is this broad delusional thinking anyone would care about her “singing career,” but she’s SO delusional she’s making up cities and ish LOL. I love it. Somewhere Pee Diddy is drunk on Ciroc watching this with Day26 (so geigh) and laughing their a**es off!

I don’t know what’s worse, this or “Rump Shaker” by Deelishes. And you just KNOW Laurieann didn’t have no permits to be in the subway, on the cars, on roofs, etc. They were dancing all fast because they saw the po-po’s coming down the street. Do her and Raz B. have the same videographer? LOL.
Laurieann…please take the “Power of the Boom-Kack” and return to your imaginary world in which you go platinum. Thanks!

She got all them dancers from P.S. 45 and paid them with chinese take-out from the corner bodega ROFL. This is a hot tail flaming melting supernova scorching mess! Bless her soul.

I guess she figured “Paula Abdul got a new video, I CAN DO THAT TOO!”

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 25% [?]



Lauryn Needs To Call Apples For A Loan

14 01 2008

 

Is Lauryn Hill about to become a welfare chick? Eating that guv’ment cheese and getting TANF (what ya’ll know about Temporary Assistance To Needy Families? LOL!)?

OK, well maybe not all that, but Roger Friedman claims she’s living in Jersey with her momma and is in debt:

So what, you might ask, has happened to Jean’s former partner in the Fugees, Grammy-winning Lauryn Hill?

Sources say Hill was living in the Caribbean for a while as the mother of four children by Rohan Marley, son of the late Bob Marley. But now, insiders say, Hill is living in New Jersey with her mother — and the four kids — and may be in significant debt. Her only big solo hit album, “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill,” was released 10 years ago, if you can believe it. (source)

Rohan was probably like “get de reewind selectah out you crazy woman pon de river back to America!” or something like that LOL.

I doubt Lauryn will ever be THAT broke, but wow…living with Moms when you are a grown a** adult is usually an indication of low funds or you are trying to feel safe and get it back together. Let’s hope it’s the latter.

10 YEARS AGO!? Sweet Minty Jesus, that album still knocks like it came out a few years ago! I swear, time is going by way too fast. Next thing you know Usher will have another child and will be joining TGT with Tank, Ginuwine & Tyrese.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 21% [?]



Eddie’s Wedding Pic

4 01 2008

Tracey KNOW she is too fine. I mean, I will say this for Eddie — his beards are TOP NOTCH.

I bet you Johnny caught the bouquet! LOL, let me quit.

They just friends.

Oops, I had to dodge that lightning bolt from Sweet Minty Jesus for telling that lie!

If anyone cares, they are having a US ceremony too. I guess the first one didn’t really “count,” as it was more ceremonial.

Wait, so was the first one just a run through to see how Johnny would react? LOL. I can’t get that Vesta video out of my head though! Erin was a fool for that….

I bet they bound and gagged Johnny on the “Is there anyone that objects, speak now or forever hold your peace…”

I’m just saying.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]



Sweet Minty Jesus Is About To Rain Down Fire on DMX

2 01 2008

I done heard and seen it all. First Mase was a Pastor, then he decided he liked trannies in ATL so he became Murda Ma$e again, but now he’s preaching. DMX was a rapper, then he wanted to be a Pastor, then back to a rapper, and now he’s doing Gospel albums!? Tashera Simmons will NOT be MY first lady!

These rappers really need to stay on their meds and quit playing with people’s emotions!

Many of DMX’s conversations with God have been a matter of public record since his career bloomed to superstar status in 1998. His catalog features nearly as many inspirational ghetto hymns — such as “Lord Give Me a Sign,” “A Minute for Your Son” and “The Prayer” — as it does party anthems and street-corner knockers, and in 2006 he pondered changing his name for “spiritual reasons.” But now, the Dog has decided to go in full-throttle with his first-ever gospel-rap album, which he told MTV News will be coming out this year.

“I [was] the first n—a to put out two albums in one year [It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot and Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood in 1998], now I’m gonna hit ‘em again — drop two albums on the same f—in’ day, yo,” X said from his home in Arizona on Friday. “A double album will make mutha—-as mad [not saved?], because they gotta spend more money — plus it’s already a long [double] album. I’m talking about a hip-hop album and a gospel album.”

Combined, the project will be called Walk With Me Now and You’ll Fly With Me Later.

The Walk With Me Now portion will be dedicated to straight-up, raw raps, while the latter will feature his non-secular undertaking.

As for the gospel album, X noted that the lyrics will be “without cursing — how ’bout that one? No songs about b—-es, no songs about robbing, just straight ‘Give God the glory.’ ” [The IPS passes out from the irony of this statement]

Read more here

LOL, I found a gif this weekend that describes this perfectly:

Can  you imagine a DMX Gospel album!? “Thank you Jesus…for saving me from killing them m-fer’s…RUFF RUFF HOWWWWWWL BARK BARK JESUS SAVES NIGGAS! PRAISE HIM NIGGA!”

If he does a love song with Yolanda Adams I am officially turning in my Jesus piece and going to sell my chocolate body on Broadway. This is getting out of HAND! I’d buy a Fonsworth Bentley matching Umbrella/CD/Tie set before I bought a DMX Gospel album, sorry. DMX once cranked out hits, consistently. Now he probably just does crank, consistently.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]



Now Raz B Has Released A Music Video!?! WTF!

29 12 2007


YouTube - Direct Video Link 
“I’m Raz B” Feat. Ricky Romance & James DeBarge

What in the name of Samwell-what-what-in-the-buttedness is THIS foolishness!?

I can’t even…I don’t…I have no words….I just…ok I got a few.

1) Who is choking on their dime bag in the beginning?
2) Did Ricky Romance hold up the Ed Hardy store? Please tell me he doesn’t have “an endorsement deal.”
3) Raz B…ummm…you are NOT the 45th coming of Michael Jackson. Please stop.
4) Give your son back his Casio keyboard and quit making tracks to the “demo” song! WTH!
5) The sound effects are…like the 45% retarded Tourette’s version of Timbaland’s “baby cries” from “Are You That Somebody”
6) The video says that this song features James DeBarge. That better not be him back there dancing, or I’m calling El and Chico to come beat his TAIL.

I mean, this video is so bootleg to boot. It looks like they shot it on their Sony Cybershot that Chris Stokes gave Raz as a hush gift or something.

They are joking right? I’m being punked right? COME OUT ASHTON KUTCHER AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!

You have put the Internets through turmoil with your allegaytions, then recanted, then had your brother calling 911 like Wyclef & Mary, and now you put out a half-a** music video shot by your friend who goes to Santa Monica College. I thought this was a public access commercial LOL. “Don’t litter in Hollywood.”

I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

*passes out from the idiocy and nignantcy*

Sweet Minty Jesus be a trip to Promises! This dude needs some help. He needs to listen to Twinkie Clark’s song “That Shall He Also Reap” and/or read Galations 6:7. I wouldn’t stand next to this dude in open field, God bout to hit him with that 8000 volt! LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 60% [?]



Sound Byte of the Day

2 12 2007

“I’m much smarter now. I know how to dodge and weave.” -Foxy Brown on her fighting style after getting locked up (Source)

Posted by J

Popularity: 14% [?]



Amy Winehouse Just… Being Herself, I Guess

28 11 2007

Amy Winehouse enjoying an apple, which I’m sure was the only thing she ate for three days. She looks 62% 89% ALL retarded here with that stance, her gaping mouth and those crackhead eyes. This picture was snapped outside a Brighton concert venue, where she was apparently cleaning up judging by the Aunt Jemima bow she’s rocking. I’m not even going to bother making her Mess of the Moment because it’s just too easy.

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]



Wayne on the Cover of Complex

28 11 2007

While his papi chulo Birdman was getting locked up for driving an RV or whatever, Lil’ Wayne decided to show his ass once again and start saying some off the wall mess in the new issue of Complex. “I’m a martian”? “You’re Jesus Christ”? Even Lauryn Hill is giving Weezy the side eye.

Oh, and I almost forgot, I love Complex but they need their asses whooped for ripping Vibe off so bad:

Posted by J

Popularity: 31% [?]



Well, I Guess Apples Was Misinformed…Cause Clef’s Called Lauryn Out!

27 11 2007

 

Wyclef did an interview at Allhiphop and straight up called Lauryn Hill “bi-polar”! Blast! Straight up blast!

Of course Clef has a new album coming out and he’s also decided that T.I. should be a co-signer on his joint. Hmm, I’m sure now he’s a little like, “oh snap Clifford, why you do me like that!” LOL. 

I’mma post the majority of the interview under the cut. Check it out.

AllHipHop.com: Ok so as you have brought up the Fugees. What is the current state of your relationship with Lauryn Hill? Will the Fugees ever make another album?

Wyclef: Right now? No. At this point I really think Lauryn needs psychiatric help. Once she gets better I think that would definitely be a possibility but until she gets help and admits she has a problem, no one can help her. At this point I really think it will take an act of God to change her.

AllHipHop.com: When did you last speak to Lauryn?

Wyclef: I haven’t spoke to her in like what? I think it’s been two years now.

More under the cut.
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Popularity: 31% [?]



You Did The Work: We Found SopeHarmony’s Girlfriend

16 11 2007


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Abigya, I’m officially calling you out. I want these five minutes of my life back. Damn you for sending this in, LOL!

This child, LAWWWWWDDDD, I don’t even know where to begin.

My favorite parts of this definitely have to be the beginning when she’s waiting for the CD to start and then realized she didn’t press play, the high note she hit somewhere around three minutes, and the diarrhea face she gave at the very end of the song. Po’ thang looked tired throughout this whole mess. I think her blood sugar was low.

I wanted JoJo’s little cute ass to jump out of the CD and pimp slap this little girl for even owning it. LMFAO. I am going STRAIGHT TO HELL but hey, I accepted that a long time ago. Besides, she, like her soulmate SopeHarmony, deletes negative comments on the YouTube page. Get out the kitchen if you can’t take the heat, child! In fact, put the video camera down and do some damn arithmetic.

Abigail Breslin, come get your cousin!

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]