Oh hellllllll to the naw!

9 04 2008

The following youtubery is of a 16 year old girl, who went over a friend’s house, got betrayed, and ended up getting her ass whooped. I ain’t gonna tell the whole story, but watch this:

Can’t blame hiphop on this one…lol.  Your thoughts?

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 28% [?]

Please Say The Baby

8 04 2008

Let me just start this off by saying whoever is managing Emmanuel Lewis is dead wrong for letting him do this. Jazze Pha’s hamhock pizza or whatever the FUCK it was is enough abuse one person should have to endure.

If I didn’t know Wayne just got some of those tattoos, I wouldn’t be surprised or doubt that he came out of the womb with them. He just seems like he was that kind of… child. Touched would be putting it lightly.

I’m sure some of you don’t believe this is real and are ready to give me the “PHOTOSHOPZ” treatment. Gotcha, bitches! I do my research. Sometimes.

Thanks Meosha

Posted by J

Popularity: 19% [?]

Not Safe For Work, Life, The Afterlife…

8 04 2008

Kim, I am holding you personally responsible for ruining my appetite after seeing this. What in God’s name. These kids are in high school? Homedude needs to pick up a basketball after class. And she can go get her freak on at Hot Dog On A Stick, because this? This is uncalled for and I mean it. Normally you have to PAY to see this kind of freaknastiness (though someone should pay me for this). YouTube is gonna pull this down at any second, so if you’re sick and twisted, watch it while you can.

Here are some questions from Kim that I want answered, as well:

Who was working the camera? Why did dude need to take a drink in between? Why did the camera man double as the prop guy? [I especially died at that Ikea polka dot bedspread -J] What the HELL?!?

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]

The Creole Clown Is In The Town!

7 04 2008

Props to Jasmine for the following:

Love the blog, came across this pic of Solange as the featured single on myspace so of course my immediate reaction was, she looks a hot yellow mess, and I had to go to her page and find the original hot mess picture. I came across one more of her looking like a broke down Beyoncé in this tight silver tube dress [see the jump -J]. Hope you can find a place for them, or at least the yellow mess!

B.G. Creole looks like she’s getting ready to hit Cirque Du Soleil. In what way is this OK? To be fair, I think Baby Daniel did a good job staying in the lines.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 24% [?]

Quote of the Day: Snoop on Politics (*SMH*)

4 04 2008

(props to Baltimore Vixen)

You know…by the looks of that picture (and him in general), maybe he was hungry. You know…when you’re hungry, sometimes you get delusional. In a delusional state, you may say things that doesn’t register with others. Here’s an example:

He (Snoop) says, “The KKK gave Obama money. They was one of his biggest supporters… Why wouldn’t they be? The media won’t tell you that. They don’t want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nigger befriended this other nigger who be threatening your values. But we all know all presidents lie to get into fucking office. That’s they job. In America’s eyes, that muthafucker’s gonna be president ‘cos (John) McCain can’t fck with him. Hillary (Clinton) can’t fuck with him. He’s winning over white people, white ladies.”

More on the Story

So…is this an insult, or a shoutout? “The KKK gave Obama money?” What? That’s like saying:

“The elementary schools supplied Michael Jackson with little boys. See, they don’t tell you that. They don’t want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nicca climbed trees and slept with little boys. But we all know the school system lie to get into the media. That’s they job. In America’s eyes, he’s gonna be straight, cus the Law can f*ck with him. He’s winning over the youth with Jesus Juice.”

Now how ig’nant is that? Snoop, finish your meal homie.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 27% [?]

Not Safe For Life

2 04 2008

Mr. Pregnant is what goes bump in the night. And in the day, too, I’d assume.

This is what would happen if you put a Teletubby, Sway Calloway, this dude and a 7 year-old Asian girl in a blender. The results? Something that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

Damn you, Kayra

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]

SMH(and WTF) of the day…no…of the WEEK!

31 03 2008

Dag. What do I even do with this post? What can I say? Hell…what can his wife say? How did she lose out to a table? (*if you’re reading this without first pressing play, I’m sure you’re like “WTF?”*) Even the cops had to shake their heads on this one. This is SMH of the week for me. You know his “school-aged” kids are gonna catch hell. I can see it now. Jokes such as, “your dad put it all on the table,” “Trojans is gonna have to make table covers now,” and “your momma is so flat…” Man…(*trying to be optimistic*). At least it wasn’t a wooden table. (*OUCH*)

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 15% [?]

Three Gifts In Large, Small & Skinny Packages

31 03 2008

My dude Justin Time™ has been holding it down while I took a quick breather. Let’s just say my spring break was pretty quiet until the past weekend. If anyone in the Los Angeles Metropolitan area has seen my keys, my glasses or my Albuterol, I’d kindly ask that you help me out. In any event, the last week and a half has assured me we made the right choice in bringing JT on board, and I see y’all agree. It always takes a few days and a couple of folk with sticks up their asses but we work through thangs, nah’mean? We got real talent. Ain’t nobody eliminating us. WE GANG BANG.*

That long digression brings me to something completely unrelated but nonetheless, a special treat for all of our readers. You actually have Aja to thank for this. It’s a great way to kick off a brand new week, if you ask me. No, I don’t know what’s going on, and I certainly didn’t make it through all 6 and a half minutes, but maybe y’all can clue me in on what I missed. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say “dancing in circles”.

Posted by J

*We don’t really gang bang.

Popularity: 15% [?]

I’m just gonna post this and offer up a prayer…

29 03 2008

Seriously tho…I really hope this gets better. I’m really praying.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 22% [?]

The Pied Piper Says: “JA’MON, KIDS!”

25 03 2008

After all the years it’s been open, we are finally getting a sneak peek of what Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch looks like on the inside now that the space is in danger of being auctioned off. There’s a lot of what you would expect… carousels, ferris wheels and shit, but there was also this lithograph, photographed near the entrance, of Michael leading a group of kids down a path.

I’m sorry but I fell out when I saw this! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I really don’t think Michael has ever molested any kids, I think he thinks he’s a child himself, but DAMN! It could be my eyes deceiving me but it looks like that line of children reaches all the down the bend! Someone call Dora the Explorer and let her know she needs to call Child Services so they can LET HER PEOPLE GO.

(Image Source)

Posted by J

Popularity: 16% [?]

Something In The Eggs Ain’t Clean

20 03 2008

Ne-Yo has recorded a duet with Fall Out Boy lead singer Patrick Stump titled “Finish Your Food” about a vengeful girlfriend who makes him breakfast in bed.

Two weeks ago, Hollywood Insider revealed that R&B crooner Ne-Yo and Fall Out Boy frontman Patrick Stump had recorded a duet called “Finish Your Food” — which Stump said had “one of the craziest concepts for a song I’ve ever heard.” Well, we definitely wanted to hear more about these strange bedfellows, so we caught up with Ne-Yo yesterday to find out more about the Island Def Jam labelmates’ unusual tune, and his description did not disappoint.

“Imagine this,” Ne-Yo told EW.com at the Def Jam office. “You live with your girlfriend. You wake up, she makes you breakfast in bed. Puts the tray down, gives you a kiss on the forehead, and she leaves for work. You eat, you eat, you eat. You notice that there’s a letter on the tray, and the letter says, ‘I’m leaving you. Don’t get up, I’m already gone. Finish your food.’ You get up, you run downstairs, all your furniture’s gone. In the kitchen there’s more scrambled eggs. So you’re sitting on the floor in the kitchen, like, ‘What the hell is going on?,’ eating these scrambled eggs still. And then you start feeling funny. Did she poison the eggs? It leaves that question going on in your head at the end of the song.”

Ne-Yo’s hoping the sinister tale makes it onto his in-progress third CD, Year of the Gentleman, which he recently started recording. “I’d like the version with me and [Stump] to go on this album,” he says. “But I’ll be honest with you, it’s been a little bit of a fight with the label. They’re like, ‘Is the world ready for Ne-Yo and Patrick Stump?’ His fanbase is this, and my fanbase is that. We’re trying to figure out if the world is ready for those two [genres] to come together. I personally think that it’s a great idea, but it’s one of the few things that me and Def Jam tussle over.” (Source)

This is some R. Kelly shit. There’s probably gonna be a midget hiding under the sink with more eggs.

If I had to wake up to this head every morning I’d probably lose it and try to poison his ass too. I can’t get over how foul this mugshot is. He looks like he was arrested for chopping body parts into little pieces while humming “Sexy love… girl the things you do…”

I wonder if he wears hats in bed?

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]


14 03 2008

Drag queen little person impersonator La Pequeña Amy Winehouse is the hottest thing from Chile since chiles. Ring the alarm!

The sight alone of this bundle of joy smoking, drinking, humping and lip-synching her way through “Rehab” in a Holiday Inn is enough to drive any person to their death bed, but I really fell out when she started speaking in Spanish.

Did she just say “Me encantan las drogas“?!

I like how “Amy Winehouse” goes from being pronounced correctly at first to “Ah-me Ween-house” at the end.

Posted by J

Popularity: 45% [?]

Larry Fish Is Still Eating… And Eating Well!

14 03 2008

Laurence Fishburne at the 2008 ShoWest Awards photographed with Jodie Foster and Kate Bosworth. When I first saw this picture I was like, OK, who let Steadman into Mama Tina’s Spicy Creole Closet of Death? This is outrageous! The Joker called and he wants his steez back.

Just because Larry hasn’t been too active lately it hasn’t stopped him from putting some hibernation weight on. Get it! Get that food, Larry! I ain’t mad at this at all because he doesn’t look that bad — clothes aside. I think he’s still eating off Cowboy Curtis. That “PeeWee” money stacks deep, get familiar.

(Photo Source)

Posted by J

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 43% [?]

The Candyman Can(’t)

12 03 2008

Juelz Santana was busted driving in New Jersey with a suspended license, some pot, hollow-point bullets and a gang of candy. This just can’t be a good combination.

Rapper Juelz Santana is expected to appear in municipal court in New Jersey on Wednesday after police pulled him over for driving with a suspended license and found marijuana and hollow-point bullets in his Bentley, the Daily News has learned.

Santana, 26, whose real name is LaRon James, was arrested last week as he approached the entrance of his home in the gated Glenpointe community in Teaneck.

“This is bull—-,” Santana yelled when pulled over, Officer John Abraham said.

Abraham said he smelled marijuana and saw a green leafy substance on the center console as well as marijuana roaches and Dutch Master and White Owl cigars used to make blunts.

Santana, who was born in Harlem, also had a hand-rolled cigar laced with marijuana in his shoe, cops said.

In the trunk, police said they found 29 hollow-point bullets wrapped in a sock and $19,500 rolled in small bundles and hidden in a plastic bag filled with “hundreds of Jolly Rancher” candies.

Police also found a plastic sandwich bag of marijuana in the backseat of the cruiser, where Santana had been sitting after he was arrested. (Source)

Damn, where was Juelz going, to murk the candy lady who sells Tootsie Pops for a nickel a piece? Was she moving in on his market? I know times are hard since DipSet is breaking up or whatever but I never pictured him turning to the black market candy trade.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]

WTF Moment of the Day: “We Are The World” Turning Japanese

11 03 2008

Japanese game/talk shows are on some other shit.

For real. Have you ever tried watching one? I feel like I’m on an acid trip sober so I don’t even wanna know what this is like high.

In this clip, several impersonators sing “We Are The World” while dressed up like American singers Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Diana Ross and more. I’m mad because I thought Cyndi Lauper was the real deal at first! That woman nailed it! The other ones range from terrible to pretty good. The “Engrish” is terrible though and at one point when they tried to say “save lives” it came out “save wives”. A mess!

Thanks Danielle.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]