‘Til 2 Months Do Us Part

2 04 2008
Beyoncé: “Jay, did you just fart?” Jay-Z: “Maaaayyybe…”

Beyasha, Queen of the Damned and Camel Lights have taken out a marriage license that lasts for a whopping 60 days, according to People.

Beyoncé Knowles and longtime beau Jay-Z have taken out a marriage license in Scarsdale, N.Y., PEOPLE has learned.

According to a source, the pair obtained a license Tuesday morning. The document is valid for 60 days.

A rep for Beyoncé told PEOPLE, “No comment.” Jay-Z’s spokesperson could not be reached. (Source)

This is how all celebrity marriages should start because a lot of them don’t make it to the 60-day mark. Pam Anderson needs to look into this.

I’m sure there’s something more to this but I don’t have the energy or interest to even speculate.

Thanks not me (if not you, then who?)

Popularity: 18% [?]

It’s All Relative

26 03 2008

According to a bunch of bored genealogists with nothing better to do, Barack Obama is related to Brad Pitt and Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie. That’s not all, though, they’re apparently related to everyone else on the face of the planet.

This could make for one odd family reunion: Barack Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt’s girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society found some remarkable family connections for the three presidential candidates — Democratic rivals Obama and Clinton, and Republican John McCain.

Clinton, who is of French-Canadian descent on her mother’s side, is also a distant cousin of singers Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette. Obama, the son of a white woman from Kansas and a black man from Kenya, can call six U.S. presidents, including George W. Bush, his cousins. McCain is a sixth cousin of first lady Laura Bush.

Obama has a prolific presidential lineage that features Democrats and Republicans. His distant cousins include President George W. Bush and his father, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry S. Truman and James Madison. Other Obama cousins include Vice President Dick Cheney, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill and Civil War General Robert E. Lee.

“His kinships are across the political spectrum,” Child said.

Child has spent the last three years tracing the candidates’ genealogy, along with senior research scholar Gary Boyd Roberts, author of the 1989 book, “Ancestors of American Presidents.”

Clinton’s distant cousins include beatnik author Jack Kerouac and Camilla Parker-Bowles, wife of Prince Charles of England.

McCain’s ancestry was more difficult to trace because records on his relatives were not as complete as records for the families of Obama and Clinton, Child said.

Obama and President Bush are 10th cousins, once removed, linked by Samuel Hinkley of Cape Cod, who died in 1662.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769.

Clinton and Jolie are ninth cousins, twice removed, both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

The New England Historic Genealogical Society, founded in 1845, is the oldest and largest nonprofit genealogical organization in the country. (Source)

Nonprofit, huh? I bet the people who donate money to these fools will reconsider next Christmas.

Look, I could probably link myself to a piece of squirrel shit if I tried hard enough, but it doesn’t mean I want to. I doubt Obama wants to be known as being anywhere in the same room as Dick Cheney’s genes.

What’s really a mess is there are some people out there who don’t even know who their parents are but we got these asshats trying to make connections between a gang of rich folks. A damn shame.

How come all I got out of the cousin deal are Chato and Loretta? Someone do a history on me, I wanna see if I lay some claim to Oprah’s money. Jimmy Buffett. SOMEBODY.

Posted by J

Popularity: 14% [?]

Are These Hos Serious?

5 03 2008

A reader of ours who prefers to remain anonymous (and I don’t blame you) sent us this little tidbit about Trina and Khia taking their beef from the streets to the ‘net. Now these broads didn’t get on YouTube or even MySpace but instead Bebo. HERRH!? I literally did not know this shit existed until I got this e-mail. This is some D-list social networking shit that is oh-too-fitting for these two.

I couldn’t really decipher much out of these blogs (Trina’s here and Khia’s here)because trying to read them took my IQ down about 15 points but the general idea is that they still don’t like each other. And none of us really care, still.

I leave you with this quote from Trina’s “Bebo” page about why she’s using “Bebo”:


This is funny because if you replace the word “Bebo” with “Trina’s new song” and “Myspace page” with “A Hot Mess! e-mail”, she and I are on the exact same page.

Posted by J

Popularity: 52% [?]

Dipset Disbanding?

4 03 2008

40 Cal” from Dipset (yeah, I don’t know, either) has realized a new track claiming that “Dipset Is Ova” in the midst of leaders Cam’ron and Jim Jones having it out, as well as Juelz Santana recently alluding to problems with Cam. Hip-hop crews need to just all dissolve because I’m sick of AHH and SOHH reporting on it everytime the weed carriers and glock holders feel like they’re getting shafted.

Over a new track recently leaked on the net, Dispet rapper 40 Cal proclaims “Dipset is Ova.” Though the camp hasn’t officially disbanded, cracks in the crew showing up everywhere.

It’s no secret that Cam’ron and Jim Jones have beef, but recently, Juelz Santana spoke out about problems he’s having with Cam too.

On Hot 97’s Angie Martinez show, when the rapper was asked what the hold up was on releasing new material, Juelz pointed to the Dipset Don as the problem.

“Me and Cam gotta work some things out, bottom line,” he said. “I came in the game when I was young right, so it’s no reason for me - to have accomplished and did as much as I did - to be getting treated the same way as I was treated when I just came in.”

Now, 40 Cal has released the new track “Dipset is Ova” onto the net, in which he blames the camp’s beef for ruining everyone’s careers but Jim and Cam’s.

“Dear Dipset the G’s not eatin/ Somebody tell Cam and Jim to please stop beefin,” 40 Cal rhymes.

Dipset member Bezel chymes in, “Cam got money, Jim getting gravy/ Dipset is ova. This sh*t is crazy.” (Source)

Damn, with rhymes like that, they’re sure to get their own deals in no time. Sit down!

I guess this means Cam will be scratching their names out of his best friends’ list in his notebook.

Posted by J

Popularity: 30% [?]

Khia (Or Kiya?) Talking Some Mess

15 02 2008

Khia (or Kiya as this video calls her, LOL!) talking about a bunch of mess no one cares about. Honestly, you can just skip past this if you want, I’m posting this because it’s a slow news day and I’m bored.

Topics include: Beef with Janet and Jermaine over their misusage of “So Excited” (newsflash: That shit would have flopped any damn way it was promoted), her new album, and how she makes songs that last like “My Neck, My Back” (…). I don’t have the energy to clown on this, y’all can take it from here.

Posted by J

Popularity: 51% [?]

Mathew Knowles Doesn’t Want To Talk To A Bey Bey Bout Ree-Ree.

15 02 2008


Mathew Knowles, Beyonce’s dad & manager (Praise Beyaweh! May Her Mane Reign Surpreme Forever!) called out Fatback Taffy Auntie Ree-Ree! Ooooh! It’s about to be a….girlfight!

Mathew Knowles is a little upset over Aretha Franklin taking offense to his daughter Beyonce using the word “queen” during her Grammy performance with Tina Turner.

In a statement released Wednesday, Papa Knowles said he will not allow Beyonce to even comment about the uproar.

“As a manager I am not taking something this ridiculous to Beyonce,” Knowles stated. “Beyonce referred to Tina Turner as a ‘queen.’ Not queen of gospel, queen of soul, queen of blues, Queen of England. I consider my wife a queen and sometimes call her that. Does Aretha have a problem with that?”

In his statement, Mathew Knowles said: “Something this ridiculous – it’s childish, it’s unprofessional. And it’s a sad day when egos get bruised because somebody used the word king, queen, prince or princess.” (Source)

You better give Queen Tina her props, she looks like she doesn’t take kindly to pesants not giving her her respect. I have a feeling one day Mathew got crunk about doing the dishes and she hexed his forehead hair to be grey. That taught him HIS lesson!

I feel what he is saying, though, I mean it IS Aretha Franklin. It ain’t like Ciara released a statement about certain performers wearing not conflict-free Yaki and who used to be in girl groups. It’s ARETHA calling you out — she should know about that.

What if Creole Lady Marmalade Beyonce’ is rolling through her favorite Popeye’s and Aretha rolls through and there is an akward moment? Trust me, after this, it won’t be about who gets the last breast(s).

I mean we don’t see (Queen) Kang Latifah getting mad! Or the Dairy Queen. She ain’t released a statement either. Just stop.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 52% [?]

I Thought The Writer’s Strike Was Over!?

14 02 2008

Though VH1 is crap TV central, writer’s strike or no. If Luke gets his celebutard on like Flavor Flav, I will seriously turn in my Black Card and hop on the MJ light-skin train. I can’t take much more of this. I blame Snoop, too. We don’t care about your families really…why drag them into all this scripted mess?!

VH1 has picked up a family-oriented reality show from rap mogul [ROFL @ him being a mogul! They are nice.] Luther Campbell and will begin airing the series in July, reports Allhiphop.com.

Titled “Parental Advisory,” the hour-long show will follow Campbell at home with his children and fiancée, as well as in the office producing adult-themed content.

“Parental Advisory showcases the diversity in my life,” Campbell told AllHipHop.com. “One day I am with my kids, the next day I am in the office auditioning ‘Luke Girls’ and the next day I might be out on the road.”

The series is being produced in conjunction with Campbell’s new company, the Luke Entertainment Group (LEG). (Source)


Also, I just want you all to know that I will be casting for “IPS Girls” as well. Please send in photos, videos & resumes — but only if you look like that chick in the Kanye “Flashing Lights” video. She can beat me with a shovel anyday, holla! *fans self*

Who has the nerve to be marrying LUKE!? I got $5 on it that she was either an ex-”Luke’s Girl” or she’s been in at least 2 “music videos”.

Ugh, it’s a slow news day!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 52% [?]

I Vote For “Chubb Rock”!

6 02 2008

This picture gives me a HEADACHE

Missy is being lazy and won’t put down those bags of complimentary Doritos to name her album, or at least that’s what I think!

Five-time Grammy Award winner Missy Elliott is giving fans the opportunity to name her new album, due out on Goldmind/Atlantic late Spring 2008. Fans can enter immediately via Missy’s website, www.missy-elliott.com. The contest closes on February 20th and the winner will be announced on March 2nd.  The winner will receive credit on Missy’s new album and a $500 “Respect Me” adidas gift card.

Quick ya’ll! You know somewhere Tweet has stopped writing new songs for her album is furiously chewing on the end of a pencil trying to beat us to the punch! LOL, she trying to get new wardrobe for her next cover shoot.

So, I came up with a couple of ideas — you can vote below. Or, you can leave your own ideas in the comments, either way.

What should Missy name her new album?

View Results

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I just got one question — is the $500 for her addidas line or is it for WHATEVER you want from addidas? That would determine a lot LOL. Since I think her line is for women only, I guess that wouldn’t make much sense. I’d rather have some free Doritos. I HATE addidas.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]

Diddy Won’t Have ME Running The City!

25 01 2008

Work For P. Diddy

Diddly Doo-Wop Combs has milked this “I need an assistant” schtick for WAY too long. What happened to the last chick that got the job!? I mean, seriously, put up a cotdang ad on craigslist like everyone else dummy! Negroes with access to television cameras is a bad thing. I need these writers to get off strike IMMEDIATELY!

VH1 is producing a new reality television show that will track 20 finalists as they compete to land the job of a lifetime: Personal Assistant to Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. We are conducting a nationwide search to find the right candidates. Whether you call him P. Diddy, Puffy, or Sean Combs, now is your chance to call this legend of hip-hop…”My Boss.” (Taken from the above website)

My boss? No, I run my OWN business, not work for another one. I’m done with those days. They are having auditions nationwide or you can send in a video.

I’m sorry — there is no way on this planet I would stoop that low. No wonder his company is in the shape that it’s in…he’s too busy doing ish like this. There was a time I used to admire Diddy…but that time is long gone. I’m just disappointed now.

Oh well, maybe Jessie James and D’Lila Star will get a reality show for when they first get potty trained. Or maybe all his OTHER kids will join together and create a show on BET called “Child Support Court.” They can get Shaq’s “extra” child and scour the NBA for more illegitimate children who need to come up!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 31% [?]

Don’t Think This Will Make Us Care About You

24 01 2008


Diddy is changing his name again.

The new title Combs is considering ties in with the brand name of his signature aftershave, and says the name reflects where he’s at in his career. “I have always evolved and taken a different name each time.

“Right now I want to be Sean John because that’s where I am right now”. (Source)

This is some Grade A Fuckery, fresh from the Foolywang Farm. Expiration date: About seven years ago, the last time someone cared about Puff the Magic Dragon or any of his stupid ass names. He can call himself “Rubber Chickensuit” for all I care, I’m not buying another one of his records.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]

Let’s Be Honest: Do We Really Care?

23 01 2008

Rihanna got her 97th janky ass tattoo recently (does she realize these aren’t the same as the washable ones you get at Round Table Pizza?) and it looks a lot like Chris Brown’s, so people are speculating that they might be dating (she also borrowed his jacket last week). I don’t think they really are dating since this tattoo looks like something they keep on reserve for girls who come to the parlor at age 16 with a forged consent form and ask for something “pretty”. But if they really are, they should have gotten a better set of matching tattoos. You know, like ones that said “Sit” and “Down”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 33% [?]

Lil’ Kim To Atlantic Records: “Give Us Free!”

22 01 2008


The Plastic One has gotten a release from her contract and some are speculating she is debating signing to Imperial Records, the same “indie” label arm of Capitol Records that Fat Joe is signed to:

Rapper Lil’ Kim has left Atlantic Records and intends to release her upcoming as-yet-untitled album independently.

On DJ Kay Slay’s Sirius Satellite Radio show “Streetsweeper Radio” last week, Kim shared that she harbors no ill feelings toward Atlantic. She said she was afraid to release her music independently several years ago but is now more comfortable in her knowledge of the music business to work her project.

It’s rumored that the MC will join Capitol Music Group’s independent arm, Imperial Records, however Kim’s management was unavailable for comment. Fat Joe is also signed to Imperial.

Lil Kim’s upcoming album, which was originally slated for February, is now tentatively set for April or May 2008.
Kim’s Atlantic swan song, 2005’s “The Naked Truth,” has sold 394,000 copies in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan. (Source)

394K? Dang, that’s it!? I thought “Lighters Up” was a hood anthem or some ish. I guess not. People put the lighters up and kept their money in their pockets evidently LOL.

Can Kim recapture her lyricism and ferocity on the mic, or will she be doing Remy Ma disses for the next 3 months on “mixtapes”? I don’t know.

Between her indie release and Foxy’s indie release, Khia’s new record deal and Trina’s new album, is 2008 the “Year of The Return of the Female Rapper”? I think all these chicks should just get in one big group and cut some hot posse records with them all rolling around in black tar Christina Milian style on the cover LOL. Meh.

I won’t be happy until Kang Latifah gives me a jazzy hip-hop album a la Guru’s “Jazzmatazz” series. I think that would be hot.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]

Fat Joe’s New Album Cover

21 01 2008

Spotted at Complex

Why he look like Scott Storch with brownie crumbs on his face? LOL. I think it’s the glasses. Or wait…the below picture of Scott Storch and New-Yo…it looks like them two had a baby and the picture above is the outcome ROFL.

I guess Fat Joe, I don’t believe you. You need more people!Previously: Fat Joe - “I Won’t Tell” Feat. J. Holiday

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 19% [?]

Khia Gets A Record Deal; Prisoners Rejoice The World Over

15 01 2008

Khia got a new record deal.

Kim is too busy using T-Pain’s voicebox to put out a new album, Remy is about to go away for a nice bid and be cell mates with Foxy, who can’t even put on her Lee Press-On’s to go to court in a timely manner. What does that leave? KHIA! Sloppy seconds anyone?

Female rapper Khia, best known for her 2002 single “My Neck, My Back (Lick It),” has inked a new recording deal with Atlanta-based Big Cat Records. After releasing her debut LP, Thug Misses on Artemis Records in 2002, Khia took the independent route for her two subsequent projects. “Signing Khia to the label was a no-brainer. Everyone knows who she is. She knows how to make a hit and we are happy to have her on board”, Big Cat President Mel Breeden said in a statement. The raunchy MC’s first project on Big Cat will be her third solo album, Nasty Muzik, which is due out this spring. The first single, called “What They Do” featuring Gucci Mane, is scheduled to hit radio in February. “I am extremely excited about my new deal,” Khia said of her new venture. “My third album will definitely show my growth as an artist and producer [GIRL STOP!]. I’ve been through a lot and my lyrics will prove it.” (source)

Who knew Big Cat Records was selling enough Gucci Mane “Freaky Girl” ringtones to get they paper up enough to sign The Thug Misses! Great day in the morning! Just what I been waiting for — a new Khia record. Put that right below my wish for Katt Williams’ new record & Fonzworth’s new single “R.A.I.N.B.O.W.S.” or w/e LOL.

I think Ms. Peachez was ROBBED. “Fry That Chicken” gets more play on my iPod than “Snatch The Cat Back.” I’m just saying.

“What’s Beef? Beef is when the b*tch titties looking like they sleep / Beef is when the clothes lookin’ like dirty sheets” - Trina, “What’s Beef?”

I’m going to send my cousin that’s locked up Khia’s new promo shots and box of cigarettes. That’s sure to brighten his day!

Khia column game is poppin’ though. Maybe I should start me a column LOL!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 19% [?]

Why is Rev. Still Getting Record Deals?!

11 01 2008


I mean REALLY. I’m all for respecting our elders and giving props where it is due…but come on. I LOVE “Run’s House,” I watch it religiously (<—LOL!), but this is getting out of hand. No one is checking for a new Rev. Run record. No one is checking for a “Team Blackout” record either by his son & his weed carriers.

I honestly don’t think I’d even waste the hard drive space on downloading this. Not trying to put my mouth on “Da Mand Of Gawt” though *cough*. I’ll just watch/listen to the 30 second opening theme to “Run’s House” & looking at Vanessa. That’ll do me just fine.

Run-D.M.C.’s Rev. Run has signed a worldwide recording deal with U.K. independent label Craze Productions. His new album is being recorded in New York and is due in the first quarter; it features a guest spot by Kid Rock, with whom Run will tour this spring.

Simmons will also tape the fifth season of his MTV show “Run’s House” later this year.

Craze Productions has an extensive digital catalog of hip-hop tracks and has previously focused on Web and mobile downloads as well as ringtones. The new signing marks a move into physical releases for the London-based label, which will Run’s album in stores worldwide. (source)

Let me go get my Mr. Microphone out the closet and break out my Fruity Loops. I’m bout to blowuptuate like So Over Boy with my new hit song “Do Ya Smell Me? (Who Pooted?!)”. It’ll be on iTunes and Myspace in 25 minutes.

Oh and I was watching the show last night and noticed that Russell Simmons had a lisp! SAY WHAT!? Can I get him on 16 bars and J. Holiday on the hook? LOL. “Lisps ov da world UNITE!”

^^ Was that too much?

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 29% [?]