All Aboard The Flop Express

29 02 2008

I guess Solange is really going through with this singing thing. Not only that, but she wants to ruin some other peoples’ careers before they’ve even started.

R&B singer Solange Knowles will be holding auditions for singers, bands and individual band members with a great look, strong musicianship and stage presence to become members of Hadley Street Dreams, her band. All members must be able to dance.

The Hadley Street Dreams, a 60s-inspired full band, will perform all live shows with Solange in support of her upcoming album to be released this August 2008 on Geffen Records, Soul Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams. (Source)

The Hadley Street Dreams? I want this to become a cult meme NOW. Let’s just say I know the theme of the next get together at my crib.

For some reason I picture Solange dressed like Punky Brewster singing about some ethereal shit. I have an idea you’re gonna have to be high to understand what’s going on in these songs. Or high to buy the album at all.

Posted by J

Popularity: 48% [?]



Sweet Minty Jesus Be A Wet Ones! Khia’s Back.

18 02 2008

LOL, oh lord Jesus…this woman…she’s about as sexy as a drowned monkey, but she’s hustling. She making herself “semi-relevant” again with all this reckless talk about Janet and her general just “I’m nasty, I’m a thug, I got that panty pudding!” nonsense.

She also has a new song called “Ass Talk” that is SURE to inspire young girls everywhere to step their booty clap game up. It’s LIFE-CHANGING YA’LL! And I don’t know about ya’ll but I thought “Snatch The Cat Back” was a classic.

Khia kind of intrigues me. She’s like those people on American Idol who really really CAN’T sing, but in THEIR minds they are Celine Dion and Beyonce’. Her mom and friends tell her, “Gurl you da bomb! You better than a Trina n’ isht!” She gets all puffed up, takes out her Dr. Seuss books and gets to work, and then effs for tracks and low budget videos and makes a career out of it.

Can’t knock the hustle!

*sprays down A Hot Mess with hospital-grade lysol*

More pics after the jump, unfortunately.

Posted by The IPS Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 31% [?]



I’m Tuning OUT

5 02 2008

Flavor Flav is set to co-star with Kelly Perine (yes, from “One On One”) in a new sitcom called “Under One Roof” airing on MyNetworkTV. Really? I think more people watch the Public Access channel in my hometown than MyNetworkTV.

According to TV Week, the show will focus on Flav, who plays an ex-con, and his relationship with his rich, conservative brother, played by Kelly Perine after they become roommates.

The Fox owned network, MYNetworkTV, has purchased thirteen, 30 minute episodes of the show and plans on premiering it in the spring. (Source)

To be honest, I’d rather see a piece of burnt shit starring in a sitcom. Oh wait… I guess that’s what this is.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]



Mini-Mess of the Day: Sean Kingston

18 12 2007

I know he doesn’t have a gold chain with crayons on it. That shit doesn’t even say “Crayola”. WOW! A mess at him getting this stupid ass chain in the first place, but to top it off he modeled the shit after the “Rose” brand they sell at Walgreen’s.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]



If Ever There Was An Argument In Favor of Armed Robbery…

7 12 2007

…this would be it. Lil’ Bow Wow (I decided I’m adding the “Lil’” back to his name because he’s still about as tall as my pinky, 20 years old or not) made a withdrawal caught by paparazzi and decided to show it off real classy-like. God, I just wanna jump through the screen, bitch slap his puny ass and go on a shopping spree.

I hope all of you “fans” out there see this and think twice before buying that wack ass homoerotic CD with Omarion.

In related news, he was “rushed to the hospital” today for a “combination of stress and exhaustion”. Maybe if he ate something he’d feel better.

Posted by J

Popularity: 33% [?]



Tell MCI to Cut the Phone Poles

28 11 2007

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

281-330-8004 is back in action. And Jesus wept.

Mike Jones really needs to quit. I’m mad as hell at him saying he’s only going to talk to the people who bought his lil’ shitty ass DVD. Can you even find that in stores? Do I need to go down to the corner bodega for that? Ask the candy lady’s play cousin for a copy? He should be happy people are calling at all! I’m laughing my ass off imagining what the phone number became once he had to stop paying the bill due to monetary constraints (because you KNOW that’s what it was). A psychic hotline? A Chinese restaraunt?

His lips are BEGGING for some “lip chap”. Where’s Saaphyri when you need her?

Posted by J

Popularity: 30% [?]



Chris Brown Stretches Into TV

23 11 2007

 

Remember those two little boys Chris Brown has in his videos and on tour with him? I called them the Hip-Hop Midgets? Yeah, they’re getting a show. Umm hmm.

Nickelodeon has inked a deal with actor-singer Chris Brown for an unscripted pilot revolving around his backup dancers.

The half-hour project, which Brown will executive produce, follows 11-year-old Scooter and 9-year-old Miles as they tour with Brown, who also will appear on-camera.

Brown’s manager, Tina Davis, also will executive produce the untitled project, which is being produced by World of Wonder.

The pilot will air as a special on Nickelodeon, but the airdate has not been determined.

This marks Brown’s first foray into producing and is his first television deal. (source)

I’m proud for Chris, he’s becoming the next Nick Cannon. But the Hip-Hop Midgets? Why? I guess it IS Nickelodeon.

I got 4 little cousins though who sing and dance and can be the next big thing or something too. I can write them a hit song called “Snap For the Kids” and their gimmick can be that they snap.

Loudly.

TV show anyone?

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 49% [?]



Video: DJ Khaled - “So Hood” (Remix)

15 11 2007



DJ Khaled - I’m So Hood Remix (feat. Various Artists)

This video is a TRAGEDY.

DJ Khaled got all the kush, top ramen and chicken wings he could in order to get every rapper that has ever done a guest spot this year in this video; he also got a bunch of other negros to show up and act important. I refuse to name all of them, I’m sure some of them got warrants!
In the words of Uncle Ruckus, “what kind of niggardry is this!?”

This video looks like it was shot on the backstage of Rev. Alicia’s studio, and they used a green blanket as the green screen!

And there is just so much more I could say, but I won’t. You can say it for me, because about 2 seconds in you will be like, “JAYSUS!” DJ Khaled looks like an underbaked baked potato. “Po-tay-toe!”

In closing, Rick Ross, I say to you, “HEY KOOL-AID!” What in the name of Miss Jay was he thinking? He must have rolled out of bed and over onto his stylist, because he looks like a hairy dark-skinned Clifford the Big Red Dog.

How many times a year is Ludacris gonna have to save someone else’s remix. I’mma get him a cape. Ludacris is a captain! Quit giving these hoes street cred Chris Bridges!

Let Khaled drown in the deep end, because all this dude does is holler. We finally stopped hearing DJ Clue, now Khaled screaming over everything, lookin’ like an albino Hamburglar.  I’m praying for sunshine with a case of laryngitis!

Compare and contrast: Rev. Alicia’s chair dance. Notice the graphics in both videos. That’s all I am saying!


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 24% [?]



Beatboxin’ Blake’s Album Cover

8 11 2007

Audio Daydream, a.k.a. A.D.D. I don’t know how many of y’all care about this fool because I sure can’t stand his faux Justin Timberlake/Jason Mraz ass but this cover amused me. This looks fruity as hell! And with all the photoshopping going on here, couldn’t they have given him a stronger jawline?

Posted by J

Popularity: 30% [?]



Sit Down!: Karrine Steffans sounds off on Bill Maher

31 10 2007

billkarrine11.jpg

 

 

I guess after publicly discussing paying Bobby Brown’s prepaid cellphone bill, letting Mike Tyson bite on you during sex, and the size of Eddie Winslow’s penis, I guess Korinna, Korinna figures she might as well throw effort out of the window and start saying even more off the wall mess.

 

In the next issue of Vibe Karrine talks about what it was like being with Bill Maher.

 

She said, “Bill wants someone he can put down in an argument, tell you how ghetto you are, how big your butt is, and that you’re an idiot. That’s why you never see him with a white girl or an intellectual. I might as well have been a Muslim woman with my head wrapped, walking 10 paces behind my man. [But] I couldn’t be ‘Bill Maher’s girlfriend’ any more - not when I’m Karrine Steffans . . . best-selling author.

Source

 

Wow. She sounds like Star Jones with that “best-selling author” mess! ( “Well, I’m AM a lawyer…”) I mean while it very true she is one, there is no need for it to be shoved down our throats all the time. There is no doubt in my mind that Bill wasn’t a prick but if I were dating someone that would get with Moses Martin if she had the chance, I’d probably treat her a little funny, too.

 

Posted by Erin T.

Pic Source : dlisted.com

 

 

 

Popularity: 41% [?]



Soulja Boy Is Gonna Be The Death Of Me

13 10 2007


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

“Go ham on ‘em Soulja go ham…”

Apparently, “go ‘ham on ‘em” means to “cause mayhem” or “get hyphy/crunk”.

NEVERMIND the fact that “mayhem” is not spelled “mayham” and is pronounced “may-him”.

I’m just saying.

Kids, this is what ole boy is doing with all your hard earned allowance and the dollar bills you stole out of your mother’s pocketbook. Throwing it around and buying tennis shoes!

Please, R-E-A-D-A-B-O-O-K!

And before the stans/AHM haters/pedophiles come out the woodwork calling me a hater, let me just reiterate the fact that I am college educated black man and I ain’t got no reason to hate on this child. I, my friends, am just pointing out the obivous. And I say to you, “Yahh Bitch. YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” His words, not mine!

Spotted at XXL

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 33% [?]



We Have the Answer to Erin T.’s Earlier Question

3 10 2007

If you, like us, were wondering who Superhead was going to f*** for publicity next, we have the answer already. She must know we’re just dying to know all her antics up in this bitch. *sighs*

Here’s how Superhead describes what she thought of Chris Brown the first time they met:

He is beautiful and tall, with a smile that would melt any girl’s heart, but he is young, very young. As we were being introduced in the midst of a crowded room, eyes on us, I was afraid to look at him. He had an air about himself that I couldn’t comprehend. For someone so young, he carried himself like an experienced man … The young man had class and smarts - and by the end of the night, he had me.

Here’s how she described their first night together:

He planted his lips on mine, and his sweet kiss extinguished my fight as I lay on my back, inviting him to mount me, to make love to me, to make it impossible to do without him from this night forward.

Slow and sensual, he moved inside me. Then I rolled on top of him, surprised by his size, unwilling and unable to handle it all. Our eyes were locked and fixed on each other as we explored each other’s bodies and needs; I felt him and he felt me, and then it was over. (Source)

This is getting so damn old. How someone could make a career out of this bullshit is beyond me and to be honest, I’m thinking of taking a stand against reporting about it anymore. This child just turned 18. Who’s she going to bang next, one of the Spears kids? I’m through.

Posted by J

Popularity: 32% [?]



Superhead on anal sex with Eddie Winslow

3 10 2007

Superhead did an interveiw with Wendy Williams to discuss her new book “The Vixen Diaries”. I could really care less but then I read a transcript of it and damn near FELL OUT:

On Anal Sex

Supahead: I never had it. We’ve been trying, but I can’t seem to open up. I’ve been trying. I’m still trying. Do you have anal sex (asking Wendy Williams)?

Wendy Williams: Special occasions. It gotta be very special.

Supahead: Can you tell me how to relax?

Wendy Williams: The best place to have it is some place where it’s wet. A pool, a shower, something like that.

Supahead:
Darius (Eddie Winslow from Family Matters) and I are trying, but it’s really, really hard. He’s big. He’s big, I can barely take it in the right holes.

Wendy Williams:
Is he bigger than my pink pen?

Supahead:
Yessss! Darius is a beast and l love it.

Wendy Williams:
Longer or Thicker?

Supahead:

Thicker and just as long. Darius is a beast. I can’t even take it in the proper holes. So, I try to switch to the other one, but the other one won’t take it.

Click here to Listen

I’ve been under a huge rock to not know that she was with Darius McCrary. He was eating at this restaurant that I was at a few months ago and the dude waiting on him was talking to me about how he thought the dude he was with was his lover. A mess. She i s over here talking about how he has a 3 month old baby with someone in Detroit and how he is working but she left off “in the chitlin circuit.” Where is she getting these men from? Ray J? Bill Maher? The bag boy at Publix? I mean really now, who do you all think is next?

I’m going with Robert Ri’Chard

 

Posted by Erin T.

Popularity: 25% [?]



Why Are People Putting Mics in Front of Ja Rule?

12 09 2007

Ja Rule’s Arthur the Anteater ass opened his mouth way too wide and came out talking about homosexuality in a recent statement that was ironically meant to address stereotypes.

We need to go step to MTV and Viacom, and lets talk about all these f-king shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can’t watch this sh-t,” he continued. “Dating shows that’s showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let’s talk about s-t like that! If that’s not f-king up America, I don’t know what is.” (Source)

First of all, let me say that I think extreme cases of homophobia like this are a dead giveaway for a closet gay. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it. I mean, this is the same dude who made an anthem about popping Ecstacy pills. That’s sus.

Secondly, let’s talk about why Ja Rule is still getting press or the opportunity to put his two cents out there? Can someone please explain this to me… if I wanted the opinion of a small wildlife animal I’d go down to the LA Zoo.

Posted by J

Popularity: 15% [?]



Video: Killer Mike Is Actually Funny // Show You How To “Make It Rain”

7 09 2007

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=zoy3DV37Z6Q]

This may not be safe for work kids!

OK, LOL @ that poor girl having to shake her gelatinous goodies in front of Killer Mike. He looks like he smells like corn chips & must. She all down in his junk urrea. I don’t envy her job.

LOL @ the white dude looking like Sanjaya!

Killer Mike is a fool. “Light drizzle” and “what would Jesus do?”

Too bad he’s about like, a billion months late. Folks don’t make it rain no mo’, they are supermanin’ hoes and ish! Get it together!

Has he put out any new music? Did anyone hear the old music for that matter?

Thanks to the folks at Super Deluxe for emailing this to us.

Posted by the IPS

Popularity: 14% [?]