Not Safe For Work, Life, The Afterlife…

8 04 2008

Kim, I am holding you personally responsible for ruining my appetite after seeing this. What in God’s name. These kids are in high school? Homedude needs to pick up a basketball after class. And she can go get her freak on at Hot Dog On A Stick, because this? This is uncalled for and I mean it. Normally you have to PAY to see this kind of freaknastiness (though someone should pay me for this). YouTube is gonna pull this down at any second, so if you’re sick and twisted, watch it while you can.

Here are some questions from Kim that I want answered, as well:

Who was working the camera? Why did dude need to take a drink in between? Why did the camera man double as the prop guy? [I especially died at that Ikea polka dot bedspread -J] What the HELL?!?

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Quotes of the Day (and possibly month and year)

3 04 2008

Aight…so Bobby writes an autobiography and says this:

I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice,” Brown writes in “Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But,” out next month. “At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine.”

As far as his 15-year marriage to Houston is concerned, it “was doomed from the very beginning. Within the first year we separated, with several more to follow,” Brown writes. “I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married . . . I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children.

I am guilty of sleeping with other women . . . Women are always throwing themselves at you. I’m only human, so I would make the mistake and bite the hook sometimes . . . I let the testosterone take over.” One of his most public indiscretions was an affair with former exotic dancer Karrine “Superhead” Steffans. “Yes, I’ve slept with her,” he confesses. “Yes, I’ve spent several nights at her house. But she was only good for what her nickname stood for.” [SOURCE]

Now…Miss Houston sent someone to say this:

“Miss Houston is sad that Bobby feels he need to say such things but she choses to take the high road and will not speak badly about the father of her child even if it’s to set the record straight.” [SOURCE]

(*currently Justin Time™ is unavailable to comment*)…(*flatline*) Bobby Brown is a hot halitosis mess. Both of them need to go on Moment of Truth, cus the Devil is like…”Dag! I’m slippin on my lying game” You mean to tell me that Bobby Brown wasn’t twitchin like he had terrets before he married Whitney? Is he implying that Whitney introduced him to this life? (*I can’t even find my Negro Please pic fast enough for this one*) Dude said, “Women are always throwing themselves at you”. (*another Negro Please pic*) Satan gave his life to Jesus on that one. “I let the testosterone take over” (*I’m done*) (*I can’t even finish this post*) Atleast Whitney took the mature road out. I hope it wasn’t because some of it was true…(*Lawd…)

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 23% [?]



Who in the hell left the gate open?

26 03 2008

BAM!!

BAM again!!

I’ma let y’all tear into these pics. The bloglines are now open.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 22% [?]



What A B****

21 03 2008

Kimora Lee’s dog Zoe recently passed away at the ripe old age of 18, and a distraught Kimora is considering immortalizing her forever by having her ashes made into a diamond.

She tells People.com, “You have to… grieve. It’s okay to take time and say this meant something to my life and (to) honor it. There is a company that makes diamonds out of your loved ones. They make diamonds from a little of the carbon from the ash, so I might do that. I might turn her into a diamond.” (Source)

So rich people are making their dead animals into diamonds now. This is what happens when people have too much money and get bored. They come up with ideas like this.

If I would have known about this I would have been scooping up strays left and right from the side of the road and brought them down to these fools. I’m just kidding. Mostly because I’m sure it costs a grand to have the “procedure” done.

I wonder if you could bring in a hamster’s ashes and have it made into a Cubic Zirconia?

Posted by J

Popularity: 29% [?]



Mariah Debuts New Single on ‘SNL’

17 03 2008

In case you missed it, Mariah Carey debuted her new terrible single “Migrate”, featuring T-Pain, on ‘SNL’ this past Saturday. I can’t even fuck with this and I’m a Mariah stan. I’m hoping that this sounds better on the CD than it did live because this is a steaming mess. Mariah really tries too hard to be young. She stays spouting off those nonsensical lines and rotating back and forth on her toes like she’s stuck to the ground. If you’re gonna do an uptempo song, a least do SOME kind of movement!

I’m upset at T-Pain coming out with that cane looking like a demon version of dude from The Apollo.

Posted by J

Popularity: 39% [?]



DMX: “What The F*** Is A Barack?!”

17 03 2008

In the midst of an interview with XXL Magazine, DMX revealed he had no idea who — or what — Barack Obama is.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack. (Source)

If it ain’t about dogs or crack, you can venture a guess that DMX doesn’t know what’s going on in any given topic.

I know Earl better sit down acting like his name is so sexy.

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Your Weekly Dose Of Ignorance: “Dat Baby Don’t Look Like Me”

14 03 2008

This is ign’ance taken to a whole ‘nother stratosphere.

The clips of “Maury” in the beginning probably cost more to license than the Playskool microphone and Casio drumset this shit was recorded on. SMDH.

Posted by J

Popularity: 39% [?]



Would You Want Your Kids Looking Up To THIS?

27 02 2008

Bobby Brown has evaded jail time in Brockton, Massachusetts after getting caught with cocaine there in December. Instead, Brown has been given one year community service MENTORING KIDS. Why do they kids have to get punished for his crime?

He got his wish and no criminal charges will issue, as Brown opted to carry out community service by mentoring children and young adults in the underprivileged city.

Brown’s attorney Stephanie Soriano told the Boston Herald that the 39-year-old singer will begin community service within a couple of months. (Source)

I guess I’ve been living under a rock because I didn’t realize he got busted AGAIN, or maybe no one reported it because that would be like reporting that the sun rose this morning.

I’m mad at them thinking Bobby Brown would be a good choice to mentor kids from the ‘hood. They already have enough problems without having to hear “Humpin’ Around” on repeat while being forced to line up that cocaina on top of a “Power Rangers” lunchbox.

Posted by J

Popularity: 47% [?]



Bust Out Your Soulja Boy Approved Fruity Loops Tracks!

21 02 2008


I HAD to use this picture again ROFL. I love it. It brings me joy.

Oh, I’m bout to TURN THIS MUTHA OUT.

I just wrote this song called “Jam That (I Seen A Leprechaun Say Yeah!)” and it would be perfectly for the Chocolate Crackbaby Troll Flava Flav.

VH1 has launched an online music competition that seeks beats for a new single from Flavor Flav. Through “VH1’s The Track with Flavor Flav,” music producers can upload their original audio tracks for consideration. One producer will be given the chance to record and co-produce Flav’s next single later this spring. To enter, submit original audio beats (no vocals) at www.FlavorOfLoveWorld.com through Thursday, March 13. Three finalists will be chosen by Flav. Fans will then vote online to determine the winner, which will be announced on April 1. (Source)

I’mma sample this video below, mix it up with some Lil’ Jon sine waves, add some Danjahandz drums, some B. Michael-Cox piano chords & strangs, ask Alicia Keys to play them chords for me, get T-Pain to add some vocoding, and then top it off with some Timbaland vintage baby cries (because babies cry when Flav comes around, real talk), record it with my Voice Memo on my cell phone, and send it to him via Yousendit LOL.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

TELL me that isht won’t blow up! Someone page Tayzonday and tell him we need some his breathing on this track — I’mma make him a star-ruh!

*rolls eyes* I wish someone would send a virus to VH1 and shut them down. Seriously. Have New York run around that joint with her two week old cotton panties, I bet she’ll clear that joint OUT. I am SO tired of all these shows. Now Perez Hilton has a show! I’m so dead. Do they really really think anyone wants to hear a new Flava Flav song? If they do, I got a bag of cheeseburgers & a planet to sell them called Mars for cheap!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 46% [?]



Lindsay Lohan As Marilyn Monroe — Yes, I Kid You Not

18 02 2008

Bert Stern, the same photog who snapped the most famous pictures ever taken of Marilyn Monroe, decided to re-enact the shoot with New York Magazine with Lindsay Lohan because he sees them as similar figures. Uh. Forget rolling, Marilyn is doing the Spongebob in that grave.

The worst part is Lindsay has a nice body. But those FRECKLES. Good Lord! It looks like someone intermittently sprinkled brown sugar all over her ass. She’s got nice tatas though. So I’m gonna let the Party City wig and the spottieottiedopaliscious slide. Nah I can’t even excuse this. It was still a bad idea. They should have at least Photoshopped that mess to a minimum.

Warning: Pics NSFW!

Posted by J

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 38% [?]



Ride Or Die

18 02 2008

Amy Winehouse out and about sporting what looks like a tear-drop tattoo — holding it down for her BLAKE INCARCERATED!

It could be eyeliner. I don’t really know. But what I do know is I wouldn’t mess with Amy Winehouse if I saw her walking down the street. If she grew up here in the States she probably would have joined a gang and beat all the bitches down when they jumped her in. In fact, I’m gonna call her “La Loca Amy” from now on.

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]



Remember When R. Kelly’s Publicist Quit? Turns Out It Was About Her Daughter

15 02 2008

 

A while back, R. Kelly’s longtime publicist quit. Most speculated it had something to do with her daughter, and turns out, most were right. The publicist’s husband was on L.A. radio semi-blasting R. Kelly once again. Though this time, it was more about boundaries being crossed than you know, pee and children.

Chicago-based music retailer and industry veteran George Daniels has confirmed rumors that he and his wife, Regina Daniels, have severed all ties with 41-year-old entertainer R. Kelly because of a sexual relationship the singer had with their daughter, Maxine.

Regina Daniels, the singer’s longtime publicist, released a statement in November announcing she had quit her post with the R&B crooner, explaining only that a line had been crossed. Now, music retailer George Daniels is speaking out about the situation, confirming rumors about what led to the bad blood. 

“He crossed the line with my daughter,” Daniels said during an interview with Los Angeles radio station KJLH. “It didn’t get to the extreme of that [sex tape] video or else I wouldn’t be here, if you know what I’m talking about.”

Maxine, who was 21 when the relationship occurred, is still in college at Northern Illinois University and “doing very well,” Daniels tells KJLH’s morning show host Guy Black.  Though his daughter was of legal age, he says Kelly still took advantage of her.

“When you’re 21, and if you’ve been there already like I’ve been many years ago, you’re still 15 to 16 mentally. You’re vulnerable,” Daniels explained.

Daniels said he and his wife would hear rumors about her daughter and Kelly having relations, and it took a while for his daughter to come clean and admit it. When she finally did, Daniels said he immediately confronted Kelly.

“He denied it. He lied to me to my face,” Daniels said.

“The reason that I’m talking abut this, it’s not just for me, it’s not for my wife, it’s not for my daughter, but it’s for the public, “Daniels added. “It’s for other fathers and mothers because it doesn’t have to be a superstar, it could be the dude on the corner. There are guys who sit around and give your child a couple of bucks to go to school and then wait until they get a little older, then they set that trap. See, so I’m doing this really for everyone.” (Source)

So basically, R. Kelly paid for her schooling…and then tried to cash in. Ergo, he had been planning and plotting on that booty BEFORE she turned 21/18? Dirty old man! That is straight bitchassedness at its best!

And he’s not locked up yet…why? I mean, I hate to beat a dead horse (and this horse has been made into glue and lacefronts long, long ago), but we got to get this man either some help and or locked up. He makes me really ill.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 52% [?]



In The Name of Samwell, I REBUKE THEE! New Gnarls Promo Pics

13 02 2008

Wow, ummm………………………….

……………………..*blank stare*

Peep these new Gnarls Barkley promo pics for their upcoming album. Now, OK, I know Gnarls Barkley are supposed to be all eclectic and zen and WHATEVER, but whomever’s idea it was to put Cee-Lo in a wedding dress Dennis Rodman-style needs to be immediately taken out back and flogged. DO NOT WANT.

And it’s not that Cee-Lo is ZESTY per say, but this is exhibiting zestay-like TENDENCIES. I’m just saying.

Danger Mouse is Kevin Michael in 10 years ROFL. Cee-Lo WOULD be the one wearing the dress though! WHY LO!? WHY!? “Closet Freak” indeed.

I have no words. I am truly speechless. I’m sure this “represents” seem deep explanation of how they are married to their music, blah blah blah, but just…no.

Again, I ask: What Would Marvin Gaye do!?

*dies and cranks dat with Ike Turner*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 42% [?]



Arnold Found Himself Some Fresh Ginger Meat

12 02 2008

Gary Coleman married a 22 year-old woman in secret last August and is now telling the world about it. This article is just a mess and it’s so obvious they are gunning for a VH1 and/or E! reality show. I don’t think even they would stoop this low but I could see Lifetime or WE Network going for it.

Former child star Gary Coleman – who’s now 40 – married Shannon Price, whom he’d met on a movie set, last Aug. 28, her 22nd birthday, Coleman reveals to Inside Edition.

The onetime Diff’rent Strokes star also admits that this is his first-time-ever romantic relationship.

“I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone,” he says. “I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

The couple’s nuptials happened, “on a mountaintop,” according to Coleman. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us. That was all that was there. There was nobody else.”

Not that the newlyweds don’t have their differences. “We may go a week and not speak to each other,” he says, while she claims, “He lets his anger conquer him sometimes. … He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.”

She adds, “I don’t like the violence.”

Then there is the fact that he stands 4′8″, while she is more than 5′7″. But, says the bride: “He was 10 feet tall to me, because he was sweet and I really liked his personality.”

As for the 18 years between them, “I don’t have issues with age, I have issues with intelligence,” says Coleman. “She’s more intelligent than I am, and that’s what matters to me.”

Price handles the sale of Coleman’s memorabilia on e-Bay, and says that when she met him on the set of the movie Church Ball she wasn’t aware of his fame.

“I didn’t grow up with Diff’rent Strokes,” she says. “I actually didn’t like watching TV when I was younger.” (Source)

A mess at him admitting he’s never been with anyone else. I mean, some of you might clown, but I’m actually kind of surprised by this. I can picture some nasty groupies trying to get at Todd Bridges and settling for Gary. You mean to tell me he’s never found one of those freakniks who has a midget fetish?

He THROWS THINGS AT HER? That mental image is almost too funny for me to imagine. If Gary Coleman tried to get brolic with me, I’d put my hand on his forehead. I ain’t going out like that.

LMAO @ her saying she didn’t grow up on “Diff’rent Strokes”. Wasn’t that show already off the air by the time she was born?

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Rihanna Covers Cosmopolitan

11 02 2008

“Your Va-Jay-Jay”

* dies and cranks dat Winehouse with Tyrone Biggums *

Putting her on this cover with all those sex-related bylines was just NOT a great idea. Really!

I bet Jay-Z has sex with himself when Bey’s on tour dropping down low and sweeping the floor with it to Rihanna too, though he was trying to front last night like he didn’t *snickers*

I wonder what Rhi-bot looks like sans-Photoshop. We got to respect her now ya’ll. She is a GRAMMY AWARD WINNER. *SEOD to the Recording Academy*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 21% [?]