A Hot Mess!

What is the most misunderstood thing about you?
That I’m a desperate aging starlet (who) does desperate things for attention. That always blows me away - “Well her career is almost over, that’s why she is doing this” My career is very successful, and I have other chapters that I am going into. And stop believing everything you read on the internet! And stop making up stuff and putting that on the internet…and check your facts. Don’t be happy to hear about another person’s downfalls. Let’s stick together and not tear each other down. -Aunt Vivica, star of Three Can Play That Game (Yes. Yes.) in Upscale Magazine

Props to UrbanScanz

Posted by J

Popularity: 11% [?]

RZA of Wu-Tang Clan is prepping the launch of WuChess.com, a website/online community where Wu fans can — yep, you guessed it — play chess!

The RZA has announced the launch of a new online community geared towards chess players within the Hip-Hop culture worldwide.

The website, WuChess.com, a partnership between RZA and ChessPark.com, will allow members to challenge others around the world, including the Wu-Tang producer himself.

In addition to live play, members of the online chess community will have the opportunity to interact via instant messaging and live chat.

While no official date has been announced for the launch of WuChess.com, those interested in joining the community can preregister now, with the first 500 members receiving the special ranking of “Founder” and periodic updates on the progress of the site. (Source)

I’m going to get the obligatory “good for him for trying something different” comment out of the way so I can really go in. So, there it is. Good for him.

But REALLY? WuChess? First of all, this is the most inventive name I’ve heard since Bags By Chilli. Secondly, I don’t know who’s checking for this, but then again I’m too stupid to understand chess. I know a lot of old men play chess and that’s about the same age range of people who remember Wu-Tang’s last relevant album so I guess he might have something here.

Posted by J

Popularity: 12% [?]

Diddles says Jumpoff #2084 has “cocooned into a butterfly” while working on her second album. Spread your wings and prepare to flop!

Ryan Leslie protégé, Cassie will return to the music scene this summer with the release of her sophomore album.

The Bad Boy/Next Selection artist has been working with some of the hottest producers for her sophomore set. Though the album tracks are not finalized, Cassie did tell Billboard earlier this year that she teamed up with Ryan Leslie, Seven, Mario Winans, Bryan Michael Cox, Eric Hudson, Sean C and LV for her follow-up album.

Bad Boy label head, Diddy, told Billboard a surprise is in store for Cassie fans.

“There’s a huge [cry] out there for a younger Britney Spears, a younger Janet Jackson. Those two great artists have paved the way.”

Casssie’s 2006 self-titled album sold 321,000 copies in the US, according to Nielsen’s SoundScan. The album’s hit single “Me & U” made it to No. 1 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart and No. 3 on the Hot 100. Additionally, it sold more than 1 million digital downloads.

A novice to the music scene, Cassie endured criticism in 2006 after a handful of less than stellar performances.

On the topic of Cassie’s growth since the 2006 incident, Diddy said, “I just don’t think she was ready. I think that we threw her into the spotlight without the artist development — that goes on with a lot of new artists. We pulled out, we took our time, we developed her for like, a year-and-a-half. People are just going to see her there and be like, ‘Wow, she’s really cocooned into a butterfly.’” (Source)

I guess that made her a caterpillar with Down Syndrome before? Let me stop.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]

Scott Storch’s yacht, the $20 million (that’s not a typo) “Tiffany” (that’s not a typo either), was recently auctioned on eBay and sold for approximately $2.5 mil because Kermit couldn’t pay the notes on this bad boy girl. From the bidding page:

THE BOAT IS BEING SOLD UNDER DISTRESS ,OWNER BOUGHT HER AND NOW GOT SHORT ON MONEY. OWNER STARTED REFITTING THIS YACHT A MONTH AGO.The bottom has been done and the boat will be going in the water on march 9 ,2008: props have been resurfaced and balanced,rudders resealed,zincs replaced,bottom job.The green color will be replaced by beige,vip and guest room will have different suede color than purple and pink.A jacuzzi might be added to upper deck.A 300k project will start and after that the price of the boat will be raised.Tiffany gives you the luxury of a stylish Art Deco interior. The clean classic lines of the Art Deco theme create a harmonious atmosphere for total relaxation. She is a “yacht with a pedigree” having been built at the world renowned Devenport Shipyard in England,and joins their list of many famous clients including The Royal Yacht Britannia and M/Y Leander. The systems and the decor on Tiffany are befitting the finest of the worlds largest yachts .To replace Tiffany in today’s market would cost well in excess of 19 Million Dollars .The owner will consider taking a boat in trade or even property. Tiffany was built to the best and highest standards.The boat sold in 1995 for 11.9 million dollars when boats of that size sold for 4 and 5 million max.It was built as a ship .The boat is undergoing a refit as we speak.It already had a complete paint job in 2006/07.New carpet and furniture in 2007.There was around 600k spent on it.It is also getting a full service done on it during the sale period.The boat has 4 staterooms 3 of which have their own jacuzzi bath tubs,it also has 3 crew cabin with their own heads.The boat has an immense living room. (Source)

Dang, “short on money”! They really blew up Scotty’s spot with that one. Not that no one knew he was broke but this is really just adding insult to injury. Seeing your $20 million “investment” (I use the word in quotes because you can’t really call a boat the size of Venus a practical investment) up on eBay has got to be almost as painful as realizing you spent $20 million on something that wasn’t… well, a house or something. Unless you like living on water. And I mean on it in the literal sense, not just next to it.

There are a bunch of pictures on the page as well. The beds look like they were made in a hurry, like the Repo Man kicked Scott’s ass in a hurry and then had a bunch of dudes clean it up as much as possible before George came in with the Polaroid. I really fell out at this one though (blue MSPaint chicken scratch is the work of yours truly, in case there were any confusion; click to enlarge):

Posted by J

Popularity: 16% [?]

Juelz Santana was busted driving in New Jersey with a suspended license, some pot, hollow-point bullets and a gang of candy. This just can’t be a good combination.

Rapper Juelz Santana is expected to appear in municipal court in New Jersey on Wednesday after police pulled him over for driving with a suspended license and found marijuana and hollow-point bullets in his Bentley, the Daily News has learned.

Santana, 26, whose real name is LaRon James, was arrested last week as he approached the entrance of his home in the gated Glenpointe community in Teaneck.

“This is bull—-,” Santana yelled when pulled over, Officer John Abraham said.

Abraham said he smelled marijuana and saw a green leafy substance on the center console as well as marijuana roaches and Dutch Master and White Owl cigars used to make blunts.

Santana, who was born in Harlem, also had a hand-rolled cigar laced with marijuana in his shoe, cops said.

In the trunk, police said they found 29 hollow-point bullets wrapped in a sock and $19,500 rolled in small bundles and hidden in a plastic bag filled with “hundreds of Jolly Rancher” candies.

Police also found a plastic sandwich bag of marijuana in the backseat of the cruiser, where Santana had been sitting after he was arrested. (Source)

Damn, where was Juelz going, to murk the candy lady who sells Tootsie Pops for a nickel a piece? Was she moving in on his market? I know times are hard since DipSet is breaking up or whatever but I never pictured him turning to the black market candy trade.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]

Akon has signed a deal with C-Murder’s TRU Publishing to write a book. *AMAZON WISH-LIST!*

Akon’s new book will be titled Thug Politics and is the second release from C-Murder’s TRU Publishing company.

The first release from the new company was Jacki-O’s title Grown and Gangsta, which landed in book stores last month.

According to a representative for TRU Publishing, Akon’s book Thug Politics is due in stores in April or May.

C-Murder, Jacki-O and Akon will also join a literary campaign to promote their books, as well as literacy amongst children and teens.

In 2006, Miller released his critically acclaimed debut novel Death Around the Corner, which has sold an estimated 70,000 copies independently. (Source)

So wait… this isn’t a coloring book? Because I can see Akon getting BUSY with some crayons but a novel or even autobiography? He didn’t even write that song about him humping that child to near-death in concert.

I’m not mad at C-Murder and Jacki-O getting their hustle on in different arenas — and I think it’s cool they are trying to promote literacy among kids, but I don’t know if this is what the schools had in mind.

Bonus LOLs: The cover of Jacki-O’s novel “Grown & Gangsta”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]

Mario will star on the next season of “Dancing With The Stars”, which, in case you weren’t sure, pretty much sums up the status of his career as a singer. Um. Yeah.

Showing that he’s more than just a voice, R&B star Mario is set to show off his footwork on the ABC hit reality series “Dancing With The Stars.”

According to the Baltimore Sun, the 21 year-old will be a part of this season’s new cast, which will see Mario and 11 other celebrities working on their dancing skills. The show, which will debut on March 17, is in it’s sixth season and was the second highest rated show of 2007, behind “American Idol.”

In addition to the young crooner, the show will also welcome famed Olympic figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, tennis star Monica Seles and actor Steve Guttenberg, among others. (Source)

I mean, shoot, I ain’t mad at Kristi Yamaguchi. I’m sure that Olympics endorsement money is just about SAPPED. DRY. But Mario? I mean I know he’s not Usher but isn’t he selling himself a little short here? Or am I giving him too much credit? I don’t know. Or care, really. “Cryin’ Out For Me” was my cut, though. Apparently not many other people felt the same.

Posted by J

Popularity: 50% [?]

Kelis showed up to the Grammys to promote her man’s new album. Beyond the initial shock of people seeing the N-word on her back those Studio 54 pants, I’m sure they wondered what the hell she was doing there since she got dropped from Jive and hasn’t really been rushing to get a new singing deal. Or anything, for that matter.

This kind of desperate cry for attention is forbidden from being plastered on our wall of shame because it’s exactly what she wants. Sit tight, Andre Harrell!

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]

Spotted at Kevipod

Jordin Sparks covers Your Prom magazine.

Now granted, I’m probably not the target demo for this magazine, but dang…I feel like she’s been “squished” onto the cover or something LOL.

How they just gonna demote ole’ girl from “American Idol” to “Prom Idol”?! I wouldn’t have let that copy go to press.

Her CD hasn’t been doing to hot, and she seemed to fade from the radar pretty quickly…and with Ruben Studdard, Taylor Hicks and Katherine McPhee all being dropped/leaving their labels, is it safe to say that A.I. has just become decent television but is losing steam as far as being a “star factory”? Even I don’t want to watch past the audition phase anymore.

Her CD was hmmmmm…BAD…even a duet with Chris Breezy couldn’t save it. I’d have to check the Soundscan, but wasn’t her CD the lowest selling or debuting project ever for an American Idol winner?

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 19% [?]

3 million!? Really? That’s all YT people buying it off of iTunes at their jobs because the token black person in the office told them about this yesterday and they had NEVER heard of it. Wanna bet?

Soulja Boy’s smash single “Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)” made digital music history this week when it exceeded 3 million downloads. The song, with its accompanying dance, became somewhat of a pop-culture phenomenon during 2006, spawning endless spinoff remixes and prompting thousands of fans to upload self made videos to Youtube. The official “Crank Dat” music video and an instructional video for the dance have together logged over 50 million views on the video sharing site alone. “Soulja Boy has set the bar for what’s possible in terms of breaking an artist online,” said Steve Berman, President of Sales and Marketing for Interscope Geffen A&M Records. “He’s been doing it since day one, before he was signed here, so I’m not surprised he’s setting a record today. Soulja Boy is out there on the frontier, showing everyone else what’s possible.” In December, the 17-year old Atlanta native received a Grammy nomination for the single in the Best Rap Song category. His debut album, Souljaboytellem.com, debuted at No. 4 on the Billboard Top 200 chart back in October and has since moved over 658,000 units. “I can’t thank my fans enough, without them all of this wouldn’t have been possible,” the rapper said in a statement. “The support they give me is beyond incredible. I have so many Soulja Boy Tell’em projects ready and I will continue to givethem what they need in 2008. Yuuuuaaaa!!” The video for Soulja Boy’s new single, “Yahhh!,” debuted on BET and Yahoo! Music this week.  (source)

More?  If “Yahhh!” and “Soulja Girl” is more of what he has to offer, it’s safe to say that he will descend as quickly as he ascended into the musical history books.

I’m really *dead* at the label acting like he is the next Common/Talib Kweli or something. Sure, he’s set the bar…but I think it’s pretty safe to say that this kind of success will never happen again. He better take that money and have them pay for his college education, word to Roxanne Shante’. She needs to do an intervention, ASAP!

Did people forget the phrase “one-hit wonder”? LOL, he’ll be on the next VH1 special in 2-3 years, tops!

Get that money though, I guess. I’ll admit to liking the song and learning the dance- 6-7 months ago when it first came out. It’s novelty folks! It’s sweet until it rots your teeth. LOL. Shame on the label for giving this boy false hope as if he will ever follow this up with another song that will be even NEARLY as successful as “Crank Dat.” Not even just him — anyone for that matter!

Every Tom, Dick and Harry have been trying to create some foolywang dance. Just ask that “Aunt Jackie” dude, Jason Fox. Where is he at?! Futilely trying to make a new “hit,” that’s where. The planets aligned for Soulja Boy, and he had the benefit of being the first. 9/10, lightning won’t strike twice unless he is truly a creative & talented individual that just rightly got their shot at fame, as opposed to some lucky child who stumbled upon FruityLoops at a Boys & Girls Club Computer lab, and then forgot how he done what he did.

(CD = Certificate of Deposit, folks!)

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]

I’m falling out because on WireImage it said “Kelis (right)”. You know, just in case you weren’t sure.

These pictures (spotted at Str8OuttaNYC) pretty much confirm the post Erin did a few months back about Kelis full-on embracing her dropped status to become a socialite at random parties. For New Years’, Nas‘ wifey jacked Naomi Campbell’s wig piece watched the ball drop at Mariah’s party at Las Vegas’ TAO, where she mingled with stars like Mario and Heroes‘ Dania Ramirez (YOW! Don’t kill me, E). I’m not hating at all because I think it’s dope that she can still get into these kind of parties (paging Blu Cantrell!) but all I’m saying is she’s got a lot to learn on the attention-grabbing front because these folks are more likely to be in the same position as her this time next year (click the jump to see the pics).

Posted by J

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Popularity: 20% [?]

brightcove - Direct Video Link 

Chingy…OK. We don’t believe you…you need more people. LOL. Nah, he probably ain’t gay. When the lights on. It ain’t got nothing to do with the tattoo though…I ain’t never even thought about his tattoo LOL.

BTW, why come ya’ll didn’t go buy Chingy’s new record!? It’s only sold 44,576 copies since it was released on the December 11th.

Wow. Did anyone even bother to DOWNLOAD that joint even?!

I bet Def Jam is mad they spent that advance on signing him BACK from Capitol. I think Chingaling needs to start working on that real estate license ROFL. He can get tips from Ronnie from BBD/NE.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]

Fonzworth Bentley, best known as Diddy’s bitch, is making an appearance on tomorrow night’s Conan O’Brien to promote his new etiquette book (wow). He’s also working on his debut album, which will be distributed through Kanye’s G.O.O.D. label.

“We haven’t really talked about how the writer’s strike really affected our Hip-Hop community,” said Bentley speaking exclusively to AllHipHop.com. “I remember, I sent the book to everybody. Conan O’Brien was the first person that called and the week I was supposed to go on his show, the strike happened. I’ve been in limbo like everybody else. So I feel very fortunate that January 2nd will be their first day back, and I’ll be on the show Jan 3rd.”

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Fonz is a guest on the week when the networks have no writers and are scrambling to find people to show up, since a lot of actual famous people are refusing to cross the picket line in a show of solidarity. A mess at him acting like people are just clamoring to get that Fonzworth Bentley exclusive. I’m sure Fonz fell somewhere between Naturi Naughton and the Hip-Hop Midgets from the Chris Brown performances on their wish list of guests, and Naturi was probably busy prepping for her role in a stage play called “Playaz Neva Change” or some shit.

Fonzworth Bentley is also gearing up for the 2008 release of his debut album Cool Outrageous Lovers Of Uniquely Raw Style. (C.O.L.O.U.R.S.)

While he had planned to release the title track “C.O.L.O.U.R.S.” as his first single, plans to shoot a video for the song featuring Lil’ Wayne and Faith Evans, were interrupted by the untimely death of Pimp C, who is also featured on the song.

Bentley has shot a video for his first single, due out this month, but will not release the name of the single for fear that the release will be preempted by internet file sharing. (Source)

Bitch please! Ain’t nobody checking for a wack ass first single from this cat. He better put his taste for “colours” to good use and go do some coordination down at the Gap where I’m sure he’ll be working in a few months.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]

Spotted at Kevipod

I feel like Katrina Laverne should go back to real estate. Not just because she’s swagger jacking “Nightrider Kim” from the “How Many Licks” video in those first two pics, but because no one really cares. What’s up with her lips in that first picture?

Not saying that she didn’t have her time in the sun or whatever. As a rapper however, she’s just been gone too long for us to really care. And her whole “bitch” theme is really, really just played out. It’s all about female empowerment now ain’t it?

I really don’t want to hear about her being the baddest anything, or just being vulgar just for the sake of it. Ya know? We are tired. We are over it. Go cut a Gospel album with ya girl Missy and Monica or something LOL. Help Trick Daddy with his cases, and help him make a record. Maybe ya’ll could do a Bonnie & Clyde ‘08 duo? I think you and Trick would have Beowulf & Camel beat by a MILE.

Trina’s new album comes out February 12th, 2008 and is entitled “Still The Baddest”.

No one mention Rihanna please and that DANG haircut or I will send Mr. T to your house to sing “It Came Upon A Midnight Clear” with a bullhorn at 3 am!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 46% [?]

Yung Berg was arrested in Miami for smoking weed on Ray J’s video set. I don’t really care, but I just wanted to say that the Miami police is ON IT. First Pitbull, now this? I don’t know how you get caught smoking weed on a video set, but ya know, I guess I wouldn’t. To be fair, this is probably the most publicity he’ll get for the rest of his career so I’ll give him a golf clap for soaking it up.

Posted by J

Popularity: 37% [?]