Please Mr. Postman

1 04 2008
Side note: I spent a good ten minutes looking for a decent picture of this broad and was so annoyed I wasted my time that I decided to use this one of her looking like a damn Oompa Loompa instead.

Remy Ma wants her fans to write letters to her judge in an attempt to get her sentence reduced after receiving four guilty verdicts last week. Get out your Washables and construction paper!

According to New York’s Daily News, over the weekend the Grammy nominated rapper’s MySpace page posted a message of endorsement aimed directly at her core fan base, pleading for admirers to send nice letters about her in hopes of receiving a reduced sentence.

Please write letters about how Remy and her music has positively affected you, influenced you, inspired you, etc… in hopes that the judge will be lenient in Remy’s upcoming sentencing,” the note read.

On Thursday March 27, a Manhattan jury convicted Remy (born Reminisce Smith) of first-degree assault and weapons charges for shooting her former friend in the abdomen last July in a beef over the rapper missing $3,000.

The MySpace message concluded “Thank you for all your support.” Letters are asked to be sent to lettersforremy@gmail.com.

Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Rena Uviller is set to hand the embattled rapper a sentence on April 23. Uviller denied Remy’s attorney, Ivan Fisher’s request for Remy to spend the remaining days, until the sentencing, at home with her son. (Source)

I’m sure all 16 of her fans are writing furiously as we speak, but if I were the judge I’d throw her ass under the jail for just coming out looking the way she does. I mean, this chick makes Foxy Brown look like a fashionista.

I can just picture it now, a bunch of high school dropouts writing the judge a letter ~*LyKe DiZ*~ talking about how Remy inspired them to walk around the metal detectors at P.S. 112 when they went to meet their pimp/dealer/girl who stole $3,000 (or $3.50) out of their purse in the bathroom.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]



Everyone Wants A Piece Of The ‘Good Life’

27 03 2008

Kanyeisha is a lot of things, but I don’t think he’s a thief. “D’Mystro” disagrees.

An obscure songwriter named D’Mystro is claiming that Kanye West jacked one of his songs. In a lawsuit filed in Maryland District Court, D’Mystro (real name Dayna Staggs ) accused Kanye of copyright infringement for the T-Pain-featured hit song “Good Life.”

The suit which also named West’s label, Roc-A-Fella, claims that he didn’t obtain a license to use “Volume of Good Life” for his song. D’Mystro also expressed displeasure at the vulgar and offensive words on “Good Life,” which he claims “harms the reputation” of his song. According to the lawsuit obtained by TMZ, Kanye was only 6 or 7 when “Volume of Good Life” was copyrighted. D’Mystro claims to have suffered “irreparable injury” and is seeking injunctive relief of “85% of all world sales of the proceeds from the music that uses his work.”
Earlier this year, Kanye won a Grammy for “Good Life,” in the Best Rap Song category. (Source)

What I wanna know is, how did Kanye steal this song from ol’ boy when 50% is Jacko’s chipmunks from “PYT” and 25% of it is from “School Spirit”?

Somehow I’m not surprised he wants money. A mess at this harming the reputation of his song. Has anyone else heard it besides he and his cats?

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



NEGRO PLEASE of the Week…

21 03 2008

Whaddup AHM? This is Justin Time (and no…that’s not my government name). I’ve been a AHM faithful since ahotmessblog.com was ahotmess.wordpress.com. Anyways…that’s the whole gist of things. Thanks to Erin and J for the opportunity. I’m not a replacement, I’m an addition. The IPS can never be replaced. Well..with that said, let me hit y’all off with the Negro Please of the week…

An “Oprah Winfrey Show” audience member is suing Harpo Studios Wednesday after some overzealous guests allegedly caused her to fall down a flight of stairs.

On Dec. 5, 2006, Orit Greenberg went to Harpo Studios to be an audience member for the Oprah show, according to a lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court Wednesday.

Greenberg, along with an “excess number of patrons,” gathered in a waiting area before filing into the studio to be seated, the suit said. When the audience members were instructed to enter the studio and sit “where they wanted,” Greenberg claims she was pushed down stairs as the patrons “rushed the gate” while pushing and shoving one another.

The suit said Harpo management failed to properly control the crowd and was careless by allowing guests to seat themselves.

Greenberg allegedly suffered “severe and permanent injuries” from the fall, and is asking for more than $50,000 for medical care and other damages, the suit said. [source]

I had to insert the certified “Negro Please” face on this one. Let me get this straight…she was shoved by miscellaneous people, but sues Oprah for “falling” down the stairs? No ma’am. You must’ve bumped your head in mid step. I declare…if she wins this case, I’m inviting anyone to come with me to Bill Gates’ house, and we’re gonna run face first into his gated house, and sue him and Microsoft for “gate malfunctioning.”

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 39% [?]



Crunk Grapes

29 02 2008

Get ready to line up around the block at 7-11 for this one! Lil’ Jon is putting out his own brand of wine.

The wine, called Little Jonathan Winery, reportedly includes a merlot, chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon. The wine is already being distributed in California and will hit shelves within the next two months. (Source)

LITTLE JONATHAN?! That sounds like the name of a doll or something. Don’t you get Chucky vibes?

As for this wine, I’ve never had a taste for cat piss mixed with red Kool-Aid and a hint of Bushmills, so I probably won’t be a fan of this.

Posted by J

Popularity: 48% [?]



Johnny Gill Is Still Hating

27 02 2008

Johnny Gill is being salty about Eddie and Tracey’s playhouse wedding and said that her guests were being inappropriate. Tracey had some words herself:

“I was very shocked and disappointed to hear of Johnny Gill’s false spin on the chain of events surrounding our wedding. His outrageous lies were clearly a very desperate and pathetic attempt to clean up his reputation at my expense. I would appreciate it if Mr. Gill would refrain from continuing to spread false gossip and lies to the public, and allow everyone involved to move on with their lives. We all know the real truth.

Now I mean, this could go both ways and she knows it. We know what she meant. I’m so dead at her making a jab at Johnny on the slick. Can we get a tell-all book? A youtube confession from Johnny? Eddie has them on lock with this. I just feel bad for Johnny because it’s only a matter of time before Eddie finds another girl to beard him. Jennifer Freeman comes to mind because I really think she is ready to beard. I mean, she WAS “engaged” to Marques Houston.

Source 

Posted by Erin T. 

Popularity: 29% [?]



Khia (Or Kiya?) Talking Some Mess

15 02 2008

Khia (or Kiya as this video calls her, LOL!) talking about a bunch of mess no one cares about. Honestly, you can just skip past this if you want, I’m posting this because it’s a slow news day and I’m bored.

Topics include: Beef with Janet and Jermaine over their misusage of “So Excited” (newsflash: That shit would have flopped any damn way it was promoted), her new album, and how she makes songs that last like “My Neck, My Back” (…). I don’t have the energy to clown on this, y’all can take it from here.

Posted by J

Popularity: 51% [?]



This Isn’t Worth “Mess of the Moment”

11 02 2008

Kelis showed up to the Grammys to promote her man’s new album. Beyond the initial shock of people seeing the N-word on her back those Studio 54 pants, I’m sure they wondered what the hell she was doing there since she got dropped from Jive and hasn’t really been rushing to get a new singing deal. Or anything, for that matter.

This kind of desperate cry for attention is forbidden from being plastered on our wall of shame because it’s exactly what she wants. Sit tight, Andre Harrell!

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]



Video: Laurieann Gibson - “Addictive”

6 02 2008


OMG OMG OMG OMG

DO
NOT
WANT.

I was *dead* in the first 15 seconds when it said “Somewhere in Boom-Kack, NY”! Not only is this broad delusional thinking anyone would care about her “singing career,” but she’s SO delusional she’s making up cities and ish LOL. I love it. Somewhere Pee Diddy is drunk on Ciroc watching this with Day26 (so geigh) and laughing their a**es off!

I don’t know what’s worse, this or “Rump Shaker” by Deelishes. And you just KNOW Laurieann didn’t have no permits to be in the subway, on the cars, on roofs, etc. They were dancing all fast because they saw the po-po’s coming down the street. Do her and Raz B. have the same videographer? LOL.
Laurieann…please take the “Power of the Boom-Kack” and return to your imaginary world in which you go platinum. Thanks!

She got all them dancers from P.S. 45 and paid them with chinese take-out from the corner bodega ROFL. This is a hot tail flaming melting supernova scorching mess! Bless her soul.

I guess she figured “Paula Abdul got a new video, I CAN DO THAT TOO!”

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]



Dangerously Out Of Tune

4 02 2008

Kelly, I ain’t mad. You better use that membership to the Wig Crypt and that discount to all-you-can-wear House of Deadwrong to your advantage! Stick ‘em for they paper ma!

WHEN Kelly Rowland can’t hit a high note, she calls in the big guns. The former Destiny’s Child member recently recorded a song in New York with Gym Class Heroes front man Travis McCoy, but struggled to hit one high note. So she called up her best pal Beyoncé, who showed up within the hour with six armed bodyguards in tow. She gave Rowland tips and coached her until she got it. (Source)

What Kelly needs to do is call Betty Wright from “Making The Band” with those magical drumsticks to help her get it together. “I love you foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” 

Six bodyguards?! Dang, and how long has she known Kelly? LOL, did Bee think that Kelly was gonna kill her and put on her lacefront and some Pancake and go sleep with Jay-Z and see what it felt like to be a platinum worldwide music star?

I wonder how many bodyguards she shows up when Michelle needs help practicing her “Color Purple” songs? 20? LOL. Beyonce probably told her, “The only reason you are playing Shug Avery is because I was scratching my a** that day Michelle. Don’t forget that!”

Mama Knowles probably brings her root boxes along whenever all three of them are in the same room — just in case of course.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 25% [?]



Judge To Foxy: I Don’t Hear You!

29 01 2008

Wonky Brown’s request to be let out of prison early so she can undergo surgery for her hearing has been denied. You don’t hear me, though!

On January 17, Brown’s attorney Laura Dilimetin asked acting state Supreme Court Justice Melissa Jackson to amend the rapper’s sentence, so she could visit Los Angeles’ House Clinic tomorrow (January 30), where she received her initial treatment for her hearing loss.

On Thursday (January 24), State Supreme Court Judge Melissa Jackson ruled against the Brown’s petition.

Prosecutors argued that the 29-year-old rapper can receive the treatment that she needs in New York and labeled the request a “desperate and frivolous petition.”

In a four-page letter to Judge Jackson, Brown claimed that she was terrified in prison because she cannot hear properly.

“I am terrified of not hearing a fire alarm go off, or being locked in a cell, and someone not being kind enough to let me out, since not everyone understands the severity of my condition,” wrote Marchand. (Source)

I bet she can hear fine when they announce it’s time for food. And I don’t doubt someone would leave her in there during a fire, but not because they don’t know about her “condition”.

Apparently her hearing aid got messed up during an altercation with another inmate, who punched her in the ear. Now that’s gangsta! That’s what her ass gets for trying to talk bold all the time! When Lil’ Kim was in prison she knew her role and made nice with all the inmates. I’m sure she made a visit to some “boxes”, too, but that’s a discussion for another time.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



Don’t Think This Will Make Us Care About You

24 01 2008

Sigh.

Diddy is changing his name again.

The new title Combs is considering ties in with the brand name of his signature aftershave, and says the name reflects where he’s at in his career. “I have always evolved and taken a different name each time.

“Right now I want to be Sean John because that’s where I am right now”. (Source)

This is some Grade A Fuckery, fresh from the Foolywang Farm. Expiration date: About seven years ago, the last time someone cared about Puff the Magic Dragon or any of his stupid ass names. He can call himself “Rubber Chickensuit” for all I care, I’m not buying another one of his records.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]



Ho Sit Down!: Ghostface Killah

23 01 2008

Ghostface had the nerve to send out a MySpace bulletin with this YouTube bitching about his sales. I thought this cat was on the underground? I thought he was trying to keep it hood?

I’m cracking up because people on the comments are talking about how he stays slanging in his rhymes but now he wants to talk about how downloading music is illegal.

This is just a mess because he’s saying he has 100,000 MySpace friends and only 30,000 bought the album. Well I don’t know about everyone else but I saw his ass perform at UCLA in October and after that boring ass shit I didn’t even bother to download his album. He carrier pigeon’d that performance in and nothing salts me more than a lazy artist.

Moral of the Story: If you wanna pow-wow with Ghostface, go buy his album, show up with it to his concert and you can drink a 40 with him in the back of his Corrolla. The end.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]



Sports Anchor Regrets ‘Lynch’ Remark About Tiger Woods

9 01 2008

Friday on the Golf Channel, Kelly Tilghman made an unfortunate comment in jest during the Mercedes Championship.

She said today’s young players should “lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.”

A spokesman for the channel said she immediately regretted the remark and apologized on the telecast Sunday. She also reached out to Woods’ people to express her regrets. (Source)

A true mess. How do people not know any better these days?! Not that it matters, you can call girls “nappy headed hos” and get your show back in a matter of months. SMH.

Props to Myra for the heads up.

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Fonzworth Bentley Thinks We’re Checking For His Ass

2 01 2008

Fonzworth Bentley, best known as Diddy’s bitch, is making an appearance on tomorrow night’s Conan O’Brien to promote his new etiquette book (wow). He’s also working on his debut album, which will be distributed through Kanye’s G.O.O.D. label.

We haven’t really talked about how the writer’s strike really affected our Hip-Hop community,” said Bentley speaking exclusively to AllHipHop.com. “I remember, I sent the book to everybody. Conan O’Brien was the first person that called and the week I was supposed to go on his show, the strike happened. I’ve been in limbo like everybody else. So I feel very fortunate that January 2nd will be their first day back, and I’ll be on the show Jan 3rd.”

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Fonz is a guest on the week when the networks have no writers and are scrambling to find people to show up, since a lot of actual famous people are refusing to cross the picket line in a show of solidarity. A mess at him acting like people are just clamoring to get that Fonzworth Bentley exclusive. I’m sure Fonz fell somewhere between Naturi Naughton and the Hip-Hop Midgets from the Chris Brown performances on their wish list of guests, and Naturi was probably busy prepping for her role in a stage play called “Playaz Neva Change” or some shit.

Fonzworth Bentley is also gearing up for the 2008 release of his debut album Cool Outrageous Lovers Of Uniquely Raw Style. (C.O.L.O.U.R.S.)

While he had planned to release the title track “C.O.L.O.U.R.S.” as his first single, plans to shoot a video for the song featuring Lil’ Wayne and Faith Evans, were interrupted by the untimely death of Pimp C, who is also featured on the song.

Bentley has shot a video for his first single, due out this month, but will not release the name of the single for fear that the release will be preempted by internet file sharing. (Source)

Bitch please! Ain’t nobody checking for a wack ass first single from this cat. He better put his taste for “colours” to good use and go do some coordination down at the Gap where I’m sure he’ll be working in a few months.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]



Breaking: Raz B Retracts Statements and Apologizes

26 12 2007


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Come on now…

Someone GOT to him. Without his consent MY A**!

I don’t believe him, he needs more people!

Someone either a) paid him, b) threatened him or c) caused him some bodily harm. You don’t come out with nothing like those allegations, lying! That ish was too well edited, thought out and taped, for it to “come out” without his permission. Plus, all the people he called on the phone and were discussing this with seemed to know what was going on!

I hope this dude is ok. He couldn’t even look at the camera. I think Chris, Omarion, Marques, J-Boog & Fizz were probably all pressuring him from their respective point of views and he just couldn’t deal. He seems like he might be the type to maybe flip out or something. I did hear rumors too that he had some mental issues, so hopefully he is alright. This poor man soul and spirit seem to have been broken. So sad.

But as far as this retraction and apology? I call B.S.! He might as well had been on TV telling me Amy Winehouse is clean and sober. Boy stop! Sat down!!!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 60% [?]