Nude Momma Calendars!

17 04 2008

Ok…here’s the story from msnbc.com (sent by Markisha):

updated 8:21 p.m. CT, Wed., April. 16, 2008

MADRID, Spain - Seven middle-aged Spanish mothers who posed for a tongue-in-cheek nude calendar — a fundraiser for their children’s tiny, rural school — are now saddled with debt and 5,000 unwanted copies.

One of the photos shows the mothers with Christmas tinsel as their only garb — no private parts on view. Other goofy poses include a shotgun-toting mother wearing only a fox pelt and kneeling on a table, and another shows a woman covering her body with a red umbrella on a picnic table.

A group of British women made more than a million pounds and worldwide headlines when they came up with the idea of a discreet nude calendar for 2000 to raise money for leukemia research. Their story was made into a hit movie, “Calendar Girls.

[Here’s more to this story…Read on]

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Popularity: 8% [?]



Glitter Girls Workout Series???

11 04 2008

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Popularity: 52% [?]



Riddle Me This…

8 04 2008

Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown is very attractive and has a great body, but I don’t know about these jungle numbers she’s always wearing. And now she’s got her own line, Catty Couture, that she wants you all to get in on.

Riddle me this… would you wear these clothes anywhere besides a theme party?

Posted by J

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Popularity: 21% [?]



OMG! The Hottest White Rapper since Eminem!

8 04 2008

Sometimes, I don’t even have to type a word. These joints speak for itself…I promise. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19% [?]



Hot New Music from Solange!

26 03 2008

CLICK HERE FOR THE SMOKIN HOT TRACK BY SOLANGE

Let me stop lyin. I can’t even say that with a straight face. *dead* @ the background singers outshining her. Lawd Jesus? Sandman? KeKe Shephard? Somebody, come get this girl! She is a walking hand-me-down. She’s like the “Cc:” in an email. DO. NOT. WANT.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 21% [?]



NEGRO PLEASE of the Week…

21 03 2008

Whaddup AHM? This is Justin Time (and no…that’s not my government name). I’ve been a AHM faithful since ahotmessblog.com was ahotmess.wordpress.com. Anyways…that’s the whole gist of things. Thanks to Erin and J for the opportunity. I’m not a replacement, I’m an addition. The IPS can never be replaced. Well..with that said, let me hit y’all off with the Negro Please of the week…

An “Oprah Winfrey Show” audience member is suing Harpo Studios Wednesday after some overzealous guests allegedly caused her to fall down a flight of stairs.

On Dec. 5, 2006, Orit Greenberg went to Harpo Studios to be an audience member for the Oprah show, according to a lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court Wednesday.

Greenberg, along with an “excess number of patrons,” gathered in a waiting area before filing into the studio to be seated, the suit said. When the audience members were instructed to enter the studio and sit “where they wanted,” Greenberg claims she was pushed down stairs as the patrons “rushed the gate” while pushing and shoving one another.

The suit said Harpo management failed to properly control the crowd and was careless by allowing guests to seat themselves.

Greenberg allegedly suffered “severe and permanent injuries” from the fall, and is asking for more than $50,000 for medical care and other damages, the suit said. [source]

I had to insert the certified “Negro Please” face on this one. Let me get this straight…she was shoved by miscellaneous people, but sues Oprah for “falling” down the stairs? No ma’am. You must’ve bumped your head in mid step. I declare…if she wins this case, I’m inviting anyone to come with me to Bill Gates’ house, and we’re gonna run face first into his gated house, and sue him and Microsoft for “gate malfunctioning.”

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 38% [?]



The Next Shake-Uh-Speare, I’m Sure

11 03 2008

Akon has signed a deal with C-Murder’s TRU Publishing to write a book. *AMAZON WISH-LIST!*

Akon’s new book will be titled Thug Politics and is the second release from C-Murder’s TRU Publishing company.

The first release from the new company was Jacki-O’s title Grown and Gangsta, which landed in book stores last month.

According to a representative for TRU Publishing, Akon’s book Thug Politics is due in stores in April or May.

C-Murder, Jacki-O and Akon will also join a literary campaign to promote their books, as well as literacy amongst children and teens.

In 2006, Miller released his critically acclaimed debut novel Death Around the Corner, which has sold an estimated 70,000 copies independently. (Source)

So wait… this isn’t a coloring book? Because I can see Akon getting BUSY with some crayons but a novel or even autobiography? He didn’t even write that song about him humping that child to near-death in concert.

I’m not mad at C-Murder and Jacki-O getting their hustle on in different arenas — and I think it’s cool they are trying to promote literacy among kids, but I don’t know if this is what the schools had in mind.

Bonus LOLs: The cover of Jacki-O’s novel “Grown & Gangsta”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]



Bust Out Your Soulja Boy Approved Fruity Loops Tracks!

21 02 2008


I HAD to use this picture again ROFL. I love it. It brings me joy.

Oh, I’m bout to TURN THIS MUTHA OUT.

I just wrote this song called “Jam That (I Seen A Leprechaun Say Yeah!)” and it would be perfectly for the Chocolate Crackbaby Troll Flava Flav.

VH1 has launched an online music competition that seeks beats for a new single from Flavor Flav. Through “VH1’s The Track with Flavor Flav,” music producers can upload their original audio tracks for consideration. One producer will be given the chance to record and co-produce Flav’s next single later this spring. To enter, submit original audio beats (no vocals) at www.FlavorOfLoveWorld.com through Thursday, March 13. Three finalists will be chosen by Flav. Fans will then vote online to determine the winner, which will be announced on April 1. (Source)

I’mma sample this video below, mix it up with some Lil’ Jon sine waves, add some Danjahandz drums, some B. Michael-Cox piano chords & strangs, ask Alicia Keys to play them chords for me, get T-Pain to add some vocoding, and then top it off with some Timbaland vintage baby cries (because babies cry when Flav comes around, real talk), record it with my Voice Memo on my cell phone, and send it to him via Yousendit LOL.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

TELL me that isht won’t blow up! Someone page Tayzonday and tell him we need some his breathing on this track — I’mma make him a star-ruh!

*rolls eyes* I wish someone would send a virus to VH1 and shut them down. Seriously. Have New York run around that joint with her two week old cotton panties, I bet she’ll clear that joint OUT. I am SO tired of all these shows. Now Perez Hilton has a show! I’m so dead. Do they really really think anyone wants to hear a new Flava Flav song? If they do, I got a bag of cheeseburgers & a planet to sell them called Mars for cheap!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 46% [?]



Would YOU Wanna Dress Like Tom Sawyer’s Grandfather?

19 02 2008

Looks like Andre 3000 is back on this whole “I’m an individual, I’m special, I do weird shit therefore I am” tip and is releasing a new clothing line. Damn! I just want him to focus on getting back with Big Boi and putting out something hot but I’m sure he thinks that’s too “banal”.

The rapper/actor discussed his Benjamin Bixby line and his as-yet untitled solo album with New York Magazine.

[Benjamin Bixby] is a character who’s kind of like your uncle, or your granddad,” says Andre. “And he has a closet full of experiences and clothes, and he’s been around the world.Unlike Outkast Clothing, the Benjamin Bixby line is expected to be carried in upscale retailers, such as Barney’s. Andre also says he’s been visiting Italian factories and Parisian textile fairs, while taking style advice from Vogue editor and noted fashionista Anna Wintour.

Although he’s been keeping busy with fashion and acting, Andre 3000 also expressed hopes of releasing an album this fall in a recent interview with Vibe.

“[Production will be handled by] Organized Noize, myself, and whoever got some heat. You know, I’ve been producing since ATLiens,” adds Andre. “Even with music, I never say, ‘Well, we [Outkast] got to put out a record every year.’ I just want to express any way I can, whether it’s film, music, or fashion.” (Source)

Ugh, another album full of weird noises and him singing all the damn time. Look, I appreciate the “uniqueness” and all that mess but come on, I’m an OutKast fan first and foremost, not checking for Andre solo. So that’s why I’m not getting too hype about this.

He needs to stop with this clothing line, too. A character like your granddad? I’m not trying to dress the way my grandfather did! Granted, he worked in the fields and wore sun hats a lot… oh wait, that’s the shit Andre wears. A mess at them carrying it in Barney’s. He really thinks people with money who shop at Barney’s wanna dress like they just came from a raft trip with Tom Sawyer? SAT. DOWN.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



Video: Laurieann Gibson - “Addictive”

6 02 2008


OMG OMG OMG OMG

DO
NOT
WANT.

I was *dead* in the first 15 seconds when it said “Somewhere in Boom-Kack, NY”! Not only is this broad delusional thinking anyone would care about her “singing career,” but she’s SO delusional she’s making up cities and ish LOL. I love it. Somewhere Pee Diddy is drunk on Ciroc watching this with Day26 (so geigh) and laughing their a**es off!

I don’t know what’s worse, this or “Rump Shaker” by Deelishes. And you just KNOW Laurieann didn’t have no permits to be in the subway, on the cars, on roofs, etc. They were dancing all fast because they saw the po-po’s coming down the street. Do her and Raz B. have the same videographer? LOL.
Laurieann…please take the “Power of the Boom-Kack” and return to your imaginary world in which you go platinum. Thanks!

She got all them dancers from P.S. 45 and paid them with chinese take-out from the corner bodega ROFL. This is a hot tail flaming melting supernova scorching mess! Bless her soul.

I guess she figured “Paula Abdul got a new video, I CAN DO THAT TOO!”

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]



Bill Cosby To Put Out Rap Album

31 01 2008

I think I’m going to have to come up with a new category tag because of this post. “Not Enough Tags In The World” is what it’s going to be called.

Bill Cosby - a staunch critic of some rap music - is set to release a Hip-Hop album called State of Emergency, which will be a sanitized, issue-oriented CD.

Sources told AllHipHop.com that the actor, comedian and philanthropist will address issues like proper parenting, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, Black-on-Black crime and the dropout rate in America’s high schools.

Cosby’s album will not contain any profane language, nor will it offer any denigrating comments towards women.

State of Emergency would be the 35th album for the legendary comedian, actor, who released his first album Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow in 1963. (Source)

The Huxtables are really showing their asses today!

Because who has time to verbally denigrate women when you’re too busy physically denigrating them.

If this actually comes to fruition, I’m gonna quit this bitch and y’all will have to call the MIB to replace me with “K” on this blog. I’d rather listen to the rugrats from Kidz Bop rap than Bill Cosby talking about “DON’T. YEEEEEEWWWWS. THE N-WORD, DOHHHHHHHH. PUDDING!”

Posted by J

Popularity: 41% [?]



The Round Goes To Venus’ Assets LOL

18 01 2008


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Does anyone else think that if it had been a black man talking about a white woman’s gluteus maximus that he would have been fired, taken out back and shot “Emmett Till” style? I instantly thought that, and I’m not one for the “race issues” normally.

The Williams sisters continue their march through the early rounds of the Australian Open in Melbourne, but not without some controversy. Venus Williams’ buttocks became the obsession of a television commentator, leading to angry calls from viewers; while Serena’s foul mouth during play got her a code violation.

Tennis commentator Roger Rasheed of Australia’s Channel Seven made remarks about Williams’ badonkadonk during a slow motion replay of her match against China’s Yan Zi, which Venus won 6-2, 7-5.

“Take a look at this now. Make or think as you will, ladies, but for me, that’s a pretty good sight,” he told co-commentators Tracy Austin and Nicole Bradtke as Venus’ backside filled the TV screen. (source)

A part of me wants to kick him, but the other part of me agrees 100% and wants to give him a “hi-five!” Borat style LOL. I’m so conflicted in my emotions, pray for me please.
But WHY was the camera man all up in her booty-do like that in the FIRST place?! Hello, can I get a witness? He’s the one that needed to be taken out back and horse-whipped cause he KNOWS he was wrong LOL.

Anyway, Venus won her match. “Sisters are doing it for themselves,” in the immortal words of Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox. Take that!

Venus and Serena are BLESSED and HIGHLY FAVORED.

Please pass me that can of walnuts, I need them to get to work!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 32% [?]



Ma$e, Dig A Hole & Bury Yourself Playa

4 01 2008



Mason & Twyla Betha - Born To Succeed TV Promo Spot

“Green is for the money & gold is for the honeys!” — Bishop Don Magic Juan

I just wanted everyone to know I am starting a church next week. Sweet Minty Jesus Episcopal Ebenezer Temple of Everlasting Life & Wealth will hold it’s first service on Nevuarary 33rd, 2015. Please send all building fund offerings and promises of your virgin legal age daughters to 666 Mason DMX Road, Hellion, CA, 66666 in an extra large clear envelope. No checks accepted, CASH ONLY. And we don’t give receipts!

No reallly though, please riddle me this: who is watching this show? If Ma$e is your Pastor, please form a line to the right so that we can have Juanita Bynum lay hands on you, followed by Bishop Weeks laying ANOTHER hand on you!

I blame Diddy. And Rev. Run. Why Rev. Run? Well, he calls himself Rev. Run and sends out Blackberry inspiration notes. LOL. So shut up!

Spotted @ Nah Right

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 27% [?]



Sweet Minty Jesus Is About To Rain Down Fire on DMX

2 01 2008

I done heard and seen it all. First Mase was a Pastor, then he decided he liked trannies in ATL so he became Murda Ma$e again, but now he’s preaching. DMX was a rapper, then he wanted to be a Pastor, then back to a rapper, and now he’s doing Gospel albums!? Tashera Simmons will NOT be MY first lady!

These rappers really need to stay on their meds and quit playing with people’s emotions!

Many of DMX’s conversations with God have been a matter of public record since his career bloomed to superstar status in 1998. His catalog features nearly as many inspirational ghetto hymns — such as “Lord Give Me a Sign,” “A Minute for Your Son” and “The Prayer” — as it does party anthems and street-corner knockers, and in 2006 he pondered changing his name for “spiritual reasons.” But now, the Dog has decided to go in full-throttle with his first-ever gospel-rap album, which he told MTV News will be coming out this year.

“I [was] the first n—a to put out two albums in one year [It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot and Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood in 1998], now I’m gonna hit ‘em again — drop two albums on the same f—in’ day, yo,” X said from his home in Arizona on Friday. “A double album will make mutha—-as mad [not saved?], because they gotta spend more money — plus it’s already a long [double] album. I’m talking about a hip-hop album and a gospel album.”

Combined, the project will be called Walk With Me Now and You’ll Fly With Me Later.

The Walk With Me Now portion will be dedicated to straight-up, raw raps, while the latter will feature his non-secular undertaking.

As for the gospel album, X noted that the lyrics will be “without cursing — how ’bout that one? No songs about b—-es, no songs about robbing, just straight ‘Give God the glory.’ ” [The IPS passes out from the irony of this statement]

Read more here

LOL, I found a gif this weekend that describes this perfectly:

Can  you imagine a DMX Gospel album!? “Thank you Jesus…for saving me from killing them m-fer’s…RUFF RUFF HOWWWWWWL BARK BARK JESUS SAVES NIGGAS! PRAISE HIM NIGGA!”

If he does a love song with Yolanda Adams I am officially turning in my Jesus piece and going to sell my chocolate body on Broadway. This is getting out of HAND! I’d buy a Fonsworth Bentley matching Umbrella/CD/Tie set before I bought a DMX Gospel album, sorry. DMX once cranked out hits, consistently. Now he probably just does crank, consistently.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]



Maybe Fannie Can’t Read Her Call Sheet?

13 12 2007

Tanfasia Mae Bullock been NOT showing up for work. Say what!? Let me pay all my good hard earned money on a ticket and Fannie not be there…I’m burning something down! You KNOW she’s the reason most people even bothered.

December 12, 2007 — THE Broadway attendance police are on patrol, and this time we’re giving out detention to - Fantasia.

Since summer, the occasional star of “The Color Purple” has missed nearly 50 performances, production sources say. Following a three-week vacation caused by the strike, she dropped last Friday’s performance, causing pandemonium in the lobby of the Broadway Theatre.

An 8-year-old girl sobbed uncontrollably when she heard Fantasia was not going to be in the show.

“It was very sad,” my lobby spy reports. “Her mother was trying to explain to her that Fantasia was sick, but the girl didn’t understand and just kept crying.”

A couple who had tickets that night asked the man at the box office how many performances Fantasia has missed.

“Fifty,” he sighed.

“Fifty!” exclaimed the woman, startling everybody on the refund line. [She was CRUNK! — The IPS]

(Broadway’s rule of thumb: If the star’s out, you can either exchange your tickets for another day or get a refund.)  (source)

I’m sure eight performances a week isn’t easy, but still…that’s your job. If my black a-asterisk-asterisk didn’t show up for work 50 times in a 3 month period, I’d be in the unemployment line faster than the decline of Yung Berg’s ringtone sales.

When the play premiered, they were hyping up all the sales that Fantasia was bringing to the run, but they quietly never mentioned how people were returning tickets worth tens of thousands of dollars because the star wasn’t showing up.

Did anyone here go and see this play? I wasn’t traipsing to New York to see Fannie Mae sang “me and you shall never part, ma-kee-da-da” (you already know!), but I might check out the L.A. run.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 22% [?]