DMX: “What The F*** Is A Barack?!”

17 03 2008

In the midst of an interview with XXL Magazine, DMX revealed he had no idea who — or what — Barack Obama is.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack. (Source)

If it ain’t about dogs or crack, you can venture a guess that DMX doesn’t know what’s going on in any given topic.

I know Earl better sit down acting like his name is so sexy.

Posted by J

Popularity: 14% [?]



Witness Claims To Have Seen Remy Ma Cock Gun At Victim

12 03 2008

The Remy Ma attempted murder trial continued yesterday with a witness testifying that he saw Remy cock her chrome gun before getting into a car and shooting victim Makeda Barnes-Joseph.

As proceedings began yesterday, Rem’s defense attorney Ivan Fisher said the shooting wasn’t intentional and that the gun had gone off during a struggle for the fire arm between his client and Barnes-Joseph.

But a student took the stand later and said that’s not what he saw.

Oluwole Ajudun, 21, testified that early on July 14, 2007, after a party in Greenwich Village, he saw Remy get out of her Cadillac Escalade with a “silver chrome” gun.

“I saw her cock it back and jump in Makeda’s car,” he said.

Just moments later, he heard a pop and saw Remy leave Barnes-Joseph’s car.

Another witness, Crystal Ricks, testified that she saw Remy get in the car, she heard a pop and she saw Remy get out of the car, but Ricks never saw a gun. (Source)

Well, looks like it’s a wrap for ol’ Rem. This is the ultimate case of “keeping it real gone wrong” and I’m sure she regrets shooting someone over $2,000. I know it’s a lot of money but it’s not that much. I guess if you’re Remy Ma $2,000 is probably needed to keep the lights on.

Posted by J

Popularity: 31% [?]



Billie Jean Won’t Take No For An Answer!

12 03 2008

A woman going by the name Billie Jean Jackson was arrested trying to break into Neverland Ranch earlier this week, claiming she was married to Michael and that it was her house, too. HEEEE-HEE!

Jackson, 60, told a security guard at the front gate of the ranch that she was Jackson’s wife and this was her ranch, too, reported the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department.

The guard, who had arrested Jackson multiple times before on suspicion of trespassing, turned her away.

Jackson moved a few yards down the road and climbed over a fence, the sheriff’s department reported. She was then detained by security.

Deputies responded to the ranch shortly after 6 p.m. for the trespassing call and Jackson was booked into County Jail on suspicion of trespassing. Her bail was set at $2,500. (Source)

Maybe she just wanted to feed Bubbles.

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]



Rihanna To Fans: “Put The Umbrella Down, Bitch”

5 03 2008

Rihanna has banned umbrellas from her concert shows because she’s afraid her moron fans will injure each other with them. I would have thought this was insulting to the fans until I read the whole article.

R&B singer Rihanna has insisted that all umbrellas be confiscated from fans, in case they injure themselves trying to copy the dance routine to her hit song “Umbrella.”

Andy McDonald, a security guard at the Aberdeen Exhibition Centre, where Rihanna performed on Monday Feb. 3, said: “We were taking precautions over a potential accident. We were told Rihanna’s song features dancing with umbrellas on stage. We didn’t want the crowd following her actions and someone getting their eye poked out.”

The decision follows reports of several injuries caused by umbrella-related incidents during Rihanna’s recent European dates.

One fan due to attend one of the singer’s upcoming shows said: “I was really looking forward to whipping out my umbrella during the song. I have been practicing the routine for weeks but it has all been for nothing.” (Source)

This begs the question, who’s dumber — Rihanna’s fans or Sherri Shepherd? Like honestly, you were really gonna show up to a concert toting an umbrella and practiced a dance routine? If I were Rihanna I’d let these idiots weed themselves out and then I wouldn’t have as many retarded fans at the end of the day when they poke each other in the gut.

Posted by J

Popularity: 49% [?]



Bust Out Your Soulja Boy Approved Fruity Loops Tracks!

21 02 2008


I HAD to use this picture again ROFL. I love it. It brings me joy.

Oh, I’m bout to TURN THIS MUTHA OUT.

I just wrote this song called “Jam That (I Seen A Leprechaun Say Yeah!)” and it would be perfectly for the Chocolate Crackbaby Troll Flava Flav.

VH1 has launched an online music competition that seeks beats for a new single from Flavor Flav. Through “VH1’s The Track with Flavor Flav,” music producers can upload their original audio tracks for consideration. One producer will be given the chance to record and co-produce Flav’s next single later this spring. To enter, submit original audio beats (no vocals) at www.FlavorOfLoveWorld.com through Thursday, March 13. Three finalists will be chosen by Flav. Fans will then vote online to determine the winner, which will be announced on April 1. (Source)

I’mma sample this video below, mix it up with some Lil’ Jon sine waves, add some Danjahandz drums, some B. Michael-Cox piano chords & strangs, ask Alicia Keys to play them chords for me, get T-Pain to add some vocoding, and then top it off with some Timbaland vintage baby cries (because babies cry when Flav comes around, real talk), record it with my Voice Memo on my cell phone, and send it to him via Yousendit LOL.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

TELL me that isht won’t blow up! Someone page Tayzonday and tell him we need some his breathing on this track — I’mma make him a star-ruh!

*rolls eyes* I wish someone would send a virus to VH1 and shut them down. Seriously. Have New York run around that joint with her two week old cotton panties, I bet she’ll clear that joint OUT. I am SO tired of all these shows. Now Perez Hilton has a show! I’m so dead. Do they really really think anyone wants to hear a new Flava Flav song? If they do, I got a bag of cheeseburgers & a planet to sell them called Mars for cheap!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 45% [?]



Stuntin’ From The Womb

14 02 2008

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony reportedly spent upwards of $120,000 on furnishing rooms for their twins on the way.

Sources tell PageSix.com that the nursery awaiting the forthcoming fraternal twins is an ocean-themed room stocked in English furniture and French-made cribs decked out in hand-embroidered bedding.

The tiny pair will also gaze upon 18-karat gilded trim and chandeliers in Jennifer and Marc Anthony’s Long Island home, as well as in the nurseries in their Bel Air and Fisher Island homes. The total cost of digs for two adorable babes? Over $120,000. (Source)

You know what? This really just makes you take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “Is this my life?” I made it to a world-class university and have been busting my ass to try and make a real job out of my smart ass antics and all I have to show for it is this rundown ’50s-style apartment? Meanwhile some kids who aren’t even born yet will probably have to wear those Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses I’ve wanted since I was 18 to keep the glare out of their eyes from a GOLD TRIM AND CHANDELIER. Excuse me a minute, I’m gonna go self-medicate.

Posted by J

Popularity: 57% [?]



Bill Cosby To Put Out Rap Album

31 01 2008

I think I’m going to have to come up with a new category tag because of this post. “Not Enough Tags In The World” is what it’s going to be called.

Bill Cosby - a staunch critic of some rap music - is set to release a Hip-Hop album called State of Emergency, which will be a sanitized, issue-oriented CD.

Sources told AllHipHop.com that the actor, comedian and philanthropist will address issues like proper parenting, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, Black-on-Black crime and the dropout rate in America’s high schools.

Cosby’s album will not contain any profane language, nor will it offer any denigrating comments towards women.

State of Emergency would be the 35th album for the legendary comedian, actor, who released his first album Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow in 1963. (Source)

The Huxtables are really showing their asses today!

Because who has time to verbally denigrate women when you’re too busy physically denigrating them.

If this actually comes to fruition, I’m gonna quit this bitch and y’all will have to call the MIB to replace me with “K” on this blog. I’d rather listen to the rugrats from Kidz Bop rap than Bill Cosby talking about “DON’T. YEEEEEEWWWWS. THE N-WORD, DOHHHHHHHH. PUDDING!”

Posted by J

Popularity: 41% [?]



Danity Kane Gets Reckless on Keyshia Cole

30 01 2008

Danity Kane Discuss Their Keyshia Cole Run-Ins

OHHHHH SNAP…Keylolo bout to go get Neffe’ and cut.some.snitches.up! Keyshia just mad that Aubrey’s hair is blonder than hers ROFL.

Danity Kane were on Miss Jones and were talking about how Keyshia Cole has been rude to them not once…not twice…but FIVE times. AND I’M DEAD at them bringing up the Youtube video of her sounding a hot mess. OMG I used to watch this video over and over and over and over and over again.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

“Oooh Jesus help me please!”

Keyshia…she sounds better now, bless her soul. She’s had some lessons since then…I think this was like, last Easter or something. LOL.

Aubrey needs to stop though — the only microphone I’m sure she’s been singing into lately is Diddy’s and Donnie’s! She’s such a jezebel…Sweet Minty Spearmint Jesus wipe her down with disinfectant. She’s quickly becoming the least favorite…she needs to slooooow it down.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 33% [?]



Kelly Rowland Hates “Bootylicious”

29 01 2008

 

Kelly Rowland is going to get a mini-root put on her by Bey’s little sister Solorange for tombout Beyonce’s lyrics! She better throw salt over her left shoulder before she enters Casa De Knowles, just in case.

Singer KELLY ROWLAND hates the DESTINY’S CHILD song BOOTYLICIOUS - because she has heard it too many times. The hit 2001 track, co-written by bandmate Beyonce Knowles, is ironically one of the few singles by the girl group which features Rowland on lead vocals. But the 26-year-old insists she would rather hear any of the band’s other singles on the radio. When asked which Destiny’s Child songs irritate her, she responded, “Bootylicious. “Sometimes I’ll go into (U.K. fashion retailer) Topshop or be at the airport and that song will play and I’ll go, ‘Nooooooo!’” (Source)

It ponders me when celebrities’ inner monologue becomes their outer dialogue. LOL, I mean really. Didn’t their publicists ever tell them to think before they speak?

Kelly’s going to have to work an extra shift in Beyonce’s walk-in closet for this indiscretion, I’m sure of it.

Fresh over at C&D has some pictures of Kelly shakin’ a tailfeather (literally) from the UK, if you’re interested. If Kelly lost that Mama Knowles Blood Red lipstick she got on, she could still get it!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 21% [?]



Weezy Thinks He’s Frank Lucas

23 01 2008

Lil’ Wayne’s stupid ass has been arrested YET AGAIN in YET ANOTHER STATE on YET ANOTHER DRUG CHARGE. This time the police caught him at border patrol with a gang of drugs which could land him in some serious trouble.

Wayne, real name Dwayne Carter, was arrested with two others who have been charged with possession of marijuana. Cops say they found 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine and 41 grams of ecstasy pills on his tour bus — after they stopped at a Border Patrol checkpoint.

Police also found $22,000 in cash and a 40-caliber pistol, but Wayne, we’re told, does have a permit to carry a concealed weapon in the state of Florida. They tell us they’re checking to see if that carries over to Arizona. (Source)

Where was he going, a rave in the Arizona desert? This is getting to be a bit much. I know he doesn’t need that much for himself and he sure doesn’t need to slang since people are lining up to get his features and he would do a duet with Gary from Spongebob if it meant he’d get paid.

Posted by J

Popularity: 24% [?]



Shirley Caesar Is The ‘Black Patti LaBelle’, And Sherri Is The Black Jessica Simpson

15 01 2008

Sherri Shepherd is at it again, opening her mouth and saying dumb things for the whole world to see and ridicule on “The View”.

‘VIEW” co-host Sherri Shepherd went flat-earth again yesterday. Seems she forgot that legendary soul singer Patti LaBelle is black.

During yesterday’s talk-around - the first few minutes of “The View” where the show’s co-hosts chat about the news of the day - Shepherd mentioned that over the weekend she had attended the Stellar Awards, an awards show for gospel singers. At the show, she met Shirley Caesar, another legendary singer, often referred to as the First Lady of Gospel Music.

“There is a picture of me with Shirley Caesar, who is like the black Patti LaBelle,” bragged Shepherd.

There was a second of stunned silence before her co-hosts, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar and even Barbara Walters piled on.

“Patti LaBelle is black!” said Golberg.

“But this one is blacker,” joked Behar.

“It’s a good thing you’re not running for office,” said Walters. “Because you’d be considered bigoted right now.”

“I’d be in so much trouble,” squeaked an embarrassed Shepherd.

Shepherd, who replaced Star Jones this year, has been dropping increasingly strange comments since she began appearing on the show in September.

In one instance, she insisted Christianity was older than ancient Greece, and even Judaism. Earlier, she said she didn’t know if the world was flat or round. (Source)

I can’t decide if Sherri really is this stupid or if she’s playing it up for the cameras. I can see Barbara Walters’ shifty ass dreaming up this “TV personality” for her and her going along with it because let’s face it, the checks from Beauty Shop are only going to come in for so long. LOL @ Barbara. I know she’s not the one to talk about race! Didn’t she call Mo’Nique’s children “creatures”? A mess.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]



Wesley Calls On Jesus To Pay The Rest

15 01 2008


He kind of looks like Sam Jackson in this picture…

Wesley Snipes snuck in a last minute prayer apparently at a prayer service before he went into court for his tax evasion trial. Now why he think God gonna bless him after he been stiffing Uncle Sam. Even Jesus said “give Caesar’s what is Caesar’s.” God don’t like ugly Noxeema Jackson!

Snipes, a Bronx-born but Orlando-bred actor, is charged with conspiring to defraud the government in filing a false-income tax claim for a $7 million refund. The federal indictment also accuses him of failing to pay taxes on $38 million he earned in his film career from 1999 to 2004. Lawyers for the Jones High School alumnus caused a stir this morning when they read a star-studded list of possible defense witnesses. The names included Muhammad Ali, Tom Brokaw [WTF? - The IPS], Woody Harrelson, Goldie Hawn, Spike Lee, Diane Sawyer, Paul Simon, Sylvester Stallone and Barbara Walters.

Frank Thompson, pastor of the Worship Center in Orlando, said he was among about 150 people who prayed with Snipes about 7:15 a.m. today at the Greater New Bethel Missionary Church in Ocala.

“We just prayed for favor, fairness and deliverance,” Thompson said. “That’s all we want for him.” (source)

I’m not mad at him getting prayer. I’ll even send up a quick smoke signal to Sweet Minty Jesus in hopes that Wesley don’t get locked up with Mr. Biggs AKA Ron Isley. If they will lock up Ron Isley’s old-jheri-curl-just-had-a-baby tail Wesley, things ain’t looking too good for you playa! I hope he remembers some of them Blade moves — he might need ‘em in the joint.

This is a warning to ya’ll — STAY AWAY FROM PASTOR MA$E & HIS TEACHINGS!

LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 19% [?]



Marion Jones To Appear On “Oprah”

15 01 2008

Leave it Oprah to bag the exclusive. Expect lots of crying! Maybe Oprah will give her a car?

Marion Jones will visit the “Oprah Winfrey Show” Wednesday (1/16) to discuss the legal issues that led to her six-month jail sentence for lying about steroid use and committing check fraud. (source)

While at first I felt bad for Marion, I quickly lost that loving feeling when the truth came out that she had been lying the whole time. I mean, really. If she had just admitted it all up front, they probably wouldn’t have been as harsh, which I think I remember someone saying. When they took her medals and suspended her, I’m pretty sure they were like “well, it was bad, but the broad LIED the whole time, and that made it even worse.”

I hope Dr. Dre, Wyclef & whoever else just admit they been getting “the clear” if they really did LOL. Though Wyclef hasn’t really made any music that the masses has liked for a while, and Dr. Dre has been holed up in his home gym getting pumped up like The Governator — he’s almost become a mythical figure LOL. Apparently Mary has already denied the reports that she ever used STEROIDS, but she said nothing about the human growth hormone. Hmmmm…that ponders me. ROFL.

This whole thing is a mess.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 17% [?]



The Stupid Are Flooding the Earth With Their Offspring

7 01 2008

Soulja Boy got some 19 year-old girl pregnant. I can’t even think of anything witty to say, I just want to throw up my hands and scream “WHY!?” When was Soulja Boy born, last Wednesday? What the hell.

“I’m not just some groupie looking for a payday, me and (Soulja Boy) have history,” the woman from Atlanta says.

“But ever since I told him that I (might be) pregnant, he stopped returning my calls and texts… If I don’t hear from him soon, I’m going to have to get a lawyer.” (Source)

That’s right, girl, get that lawyer! You better get in where you fit in because that ringtone money is not going to last forever.

Knowing the state of music, we’ll be hearing “Crank That Stroller”, “Crank That Blankie” and “Crank That Ba-Ba” in a matter of months.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]



Mariah Just Lost 50-11 Points In My Book

3 01 2008

Really!? Please tell me she didn’t go the easy route and put her whispering and cooing with T-Pain’s “I, Robot” warbling. I am so through. 2K8 is already starting off a hot mess. I’m bout to move to Tennessee and listen to Carrie Underwood all day. I can’t take these bastardizations of music! Sweet Minty Jesus wipe me down with a Temptations record. Can we resurrect Berry Gordy from retirement? Bueller? Bueller?

Hollyscoop reports the following from Mariah’s New Year’s Eve Party at TAO, Las Vegas:

Mariah closed the night by playing her new track “Migrate” which features T-Pain.

MariahDailyJournal is able to confirm that Migrate (in addition to Heat) is indeed a new song title from Mariah’s upcoming album. It is however, at this point, unknown whether or not it will be the first single.

“It’s Like That,” the first single from The Emancipation of Mimi was first played by Mariah at the New Year’s Eve 2005 Party she hosted at the PURE night club in Las Vegas on December 31, 2004. (source)

What would Tommy Mottola do (after he flipped it, smacked it, and rubbed it down)? Not this foolishness.

She needs a banger. I’m a fan, and if the song is catchy or whatever, I will probably like after a billion spins on my MP3 player. But come on folks, T-Pain is not the messiah of R&B! He is already on the radio 6 songs an hour with 6 different songs including 2 of his.

I’m not mad he’s making bank, but then people wonder why people aren’t investing in music any longer. Who wants to hear T-Pain 8 times an hour!? Let’s get real. Next thing her little doggie will be doing solo spots on DMX’s new Gospel album. I am so through with music sometimes!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 27% [?]