TGIF - Let’s get this party started right!

18 04 2008

AHM would like to thank and Annette for these pics.


Popularity: 26% [?]

Two-Steppin’ To Middle Earth

1 04 2008

From the twisted and always hilarious mind of Antina:

D. Woods is a pretty girl, and does having a banging shape. I’m a girl and I can admit that. But I must say that she looks like a ape mixed with hobbit by the feet! I mean look at those stompers! A mess…..This was at their album release party. Why take your shoes off if you know you’re feet bigger than Shaq’s?

I have to say I agree. Those claws look like they could snatch a fish out the sea coming from 50 feet up. She could pitch a baseball with them thangs. Still love ya, girl.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]

NEW MESS OF THE MOMENT: “Hey April…come get your fool!”

1 04 2008

Denzel…you are off the hook. This is the New MESS OF THE MOMENT!

I swear I caught STDs just looking at this pic. The creator of stank should sue for copyright infringement.

Posted by Justin Time™ (please say the ™)

Popularity: 20% [?]

Clean & Clear That Ho

21 03 2008

Somebody, somewhere in Soulja Boy’s camp thought it would be a good idea for them to show us him getting a pimple the size of Jamaica popped off the side of his head. The best part is he didn’t even do it! He had one of his goons do the shit for him. Now that’s some Mariah Carey shit for you. Forget weed carriers, when the gravy train conductor is 16, you may or may not have to pop zits for him.

I was trying to think of some good jokes but all the good ones were already said in this video. “That pimple has a pimple!” “That pimple is pregnant!” “Like Plies said, bust it baby!”

That was foul beyond foul’s belief. It looked like he got shot at the end! I didn’t know that much blood could come from a pimple. I thought his ass was gonna bleed out!

Posted by J

Popularity: 31% [?]

If HE Thinks Your Breath Is Bad…

19 03 2008

Warning: adult language.

Flavor Flav is not a clean-looking individual. He reminds me of one of those sponge pads with the rough sides you use to scrape grease off pans. I’m sure flies congregate on his head all the time, have meetings about which pile of dogshit they’re gonna land on next, etc.

It follows then that his breath probably smells like some sort of dying animal that crapped itself in fear. So when I saw this clip, I just about fell out.

I’m not even watching “Flavor of Love” this season, but apparently ya girl Shy has a halitosis problem. If Flavor Motherfucking Flav thinks your breath stinks, it could probably burn the surface of the sun. I’m surprised I didn’t get stank-o-vision watching this video! Someone call HAZMAT.

Shout out to Antina

Posted by J

Popularity: 47% [?]

Sweet Minty Jesus Be A Wet Ones! Khia’s Back.

18 02 2008

LOL, oh lord Jesus…this woman…she’s about as sexy as a drowned monkey, but she’s hustling. She making herself “semi-relevant” again with all this reckless talk about Janet and her general just “I’m nasty, I’m a thug, I got that panty pudding!” nonsense.

She also has a new song called “Ass Talk” that is SURE to inspire young girls everywhere to step their booty clap game up. It’s LIFE-CHANGING YA’LL! And I don’t know about ya’ll but I thought “Snatch The Cat Back” was a classic.

Khia kind of intrigues me. She’s like those people on American Idol who really really CAN’T sing, but in THEIR minds they are Celine Dion and Beyonce’. Her mom and friends tell her, “Gurl you da bomb! You better than a Trina n’ isht!” She gets all puffed up, takes out her Dr. Seuss books and gets to work, and then effs for tracks and low budget videos and makes a career out of it.

Can’t knock the hustle!

*sprays down A Hot Mess with hospital-grade lysol*

More pics after the jump, unfortunately.

Posted by The IPS Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 31% [?]

Rick Ross Buys Axe Buy The Ki-Load

13 02 2008

My peoples at Blender (if you’re reading, I want an internship!) sat down with Rick “Osama” Ross to talk about some stuff. This is why I love Blender, because they ask hilarious ass shit like “What’s your favorite Snapple?” Any other magazine would ask what inspired him, the neighborhood he grew up in, yada yada yada.

This interview had me cracking up! When he said his friend jumped off the bridge in the “Speedin’” video did he mean for 300 DOLLARS or $300,000? It wouldn’t really make a difference to me (I could use an extra $300) but I’m just sayin’.

And let me just note that I don’t think the stench of Mary Jane is the only thing Mr. Ross is using Axe to cover up. That beard probably has creatures and all sorts of foul smelling things inhabiting it. Bump Axe, I would throw some Raid on that bitch.

Posted by J

Popularity: 34% [?]