A Hot Mess!

Rihanna on the Jay-Z Beyonce Wedding:
“I didn’t know!” Rihanna told PEOPLE at the Escada Moon Sparkle/Island Def Jam benefit for her Believe Foundation and DKMS, the world’s largest bone marrow donor center. “No one knew!” [SOURCE]
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According to a bunch of bored genealogists with nothing better to do, Barack Obama is related to Brad Pitt and Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie. That’s not all, though, they’re apparently related to everyone else on the face of the planet.

This could make for one odd family reunion: Barack Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt’s girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society found some remarkable family connections for the three presidential candidates — Democratic rivals Obama and Clinton, and Republican John McCain.

Clinton, who is of French-Canadian descent on her mother’s side, is also a distant cousin of singers Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette. Obama, the son of a white woman from Kansas and a black man from Kenya, can call six U.S. presidents, including George W. Bush, his cousins. McCain is a sixth cousin of first lady Laura Bush.

Obama has a prolific presidential lineage that features Democrats and Republicans. His distant cousins include President George W. Bush and his father, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry S. Truman and James Madison. Other Obama cousins include Vice President Dick Cheney, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill and Civil War General Robert E. Lee.

“His kinships are across the political spectrum,” Child said.

Child has spent the last three years tracing the candidates’ genealogy, along with senior research scholar Gary Boyd Roberts, author of the 1989 book, “Ancestors of American Presidents.”

Clinton’s distant cousins include beatnik author Jack Kerouac and Camilla Parker-Bowles, wife of Prince Charles of England.

McCain’s ancestry was more difficult to trace because records on his relatives were not as complete as records for the families of Obama and Clinton, Child said.

Obama and President Bush are 10th cousins, once removed, linked by Samuel Hinkley of Cape Cod, who died in 1662.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769.

Clinton and Jolie are ninth cousins, twice removed, both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

The New England Historic Genealogical Society, founded in 1845, is the oldest and largest nonprofit genealogical organization in the country. (Source)

Nonprofit, huh? I bet the people who donate money to these fools will reconsider next Christmas.

Look, I could probably link myself to a piece of squirrel shit if I tried hard enough, but it doesn’t mean I want to. I doubt Obama wants to be known as being anywhere in the same room as Dick Cheney’s genes.

What’s really a mess is there are some people out there who don’t even know who their parents are but we got these asshats trying to make connections between a gang of rich folks. A damn shame.

How come all I got out of the cousin deal are Chato and Loretta? Someone do a history on me, I wanna see if I lay some claim to Oprah’s money. Jimmy Buffett. SOMEBODY.

Posted by J

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Raven looks a hot mess. There’s simply no other way to put it. Between the “black Punky Brewster” hair, the torn up leggings, and that Ms. Swan muumuu from Marc Ecko I don’t really know what’s going on here.

Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age, but I can’t decide if this is worthy of Mess of the Moment or not. You guys can let me know (One more pic after the jump).

Update: The jury is in and Raven has been shunned to the Wall of Shame. Y’all only have yourselves to blame.

(Photo Source)

Posted by J

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Rihanna has banned umbrellas from her concert shows because she’s afraid her moron fans will injure each other with them. I would have thought this was insulting to the fans until I read the whole article.

R&B singer Rihanna has insisted that all umbrellas be confiscated from fans, in case they injure themselves trying to copy the dance routine to her hit song “Umbrella.”

Andy McDonald, a security guard at the Aberdeen Exhibition Centre, where Rihanna performed on Monday Feb. 3, said: “We were taking precautions over a potential accident. We were told Rihanna’s song features dancing with umbrellas on stage. We didn’t want the crowd following her actions and someone getting their eye poked out.”

The decision follows reports of several injuries caused by umbrella-related incidents during Rihanna’s recent European dates.

One fan due to attend one of the singer’s upcoming shows said: “I was really looking forward to whipping out my umbrella during the song. I have been practicing the routine for weeks but it has all been for nothing.” (Source)

This begs the question, who’s dumber — Rihanna’s fans or Sherri Shepherd? Like honestly, you were really gonna show up to a concert toting an umbrella and practiced a dance routine? If I were Rihanna I’d let these idiots weed themselves out and then I wouldn’t have as many retarded fans at the end of the day when they poke each other in the gut.

Posted by J

Popularity: 48% [?]