AHM! News Wrap Up

4 01 2008

Obama wins Iowa Caucus! (BET)

Ne-Yo Sues R. Kelly’s Promoter; R. Kelly Fires Back (Allhiphop)

Britney Spears in Hospital; Tries to Keep Kids From K. Fed in a Standoff (Yahoo)

Chris Brown sued for breach of contract by tour set designer (MTV)

Kanye likes Connect Four; Gets Beat By Beyonce’ (Concrete Loop)

Play from “Kid N’ Play” in car accident but is fine (Allhiphop)

Prodigy has a sex tape, but not really. (Crunk & Disorderly)

Auntie Viv has a sex tape?!?! (Sandra Rose)

Marion Jones wants probation (AP)

If there’s anything you’d like to share with the rest of us, feel free to post a link in the comments. I only go so much time in a day LOL.

For anything else, go R-E-A-D-A-B-O-O-K!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 40% [?]

Amerie Has Some “Helpful” Advice For Britney

16 10 2007

Amerie decided to open her mouth and give Britney Spears some advice on how to get her career back on track. The irony is too much and I almost have no words.

Amerie, 27, said: “I like her single ‘Gimme More’, but I think something with really high bursts of energy - something like my song ‘Gotta Work’ - would have been cool for her. She needs to move more.”

And the singer added: “I don’t really know her situation, but for myself I am not a drinker, I am not a smoker and I have never done drugs. I think that has a lot to do with keeping yourself on track.”

Amerie has tried to work with 25-year-old Britney in the past, but said the timing wasn’t right.

“She wasn’t in the right place and the song went on my album. If she wants to do something I would totally be there. If we did I’m sure it would be great and a lot of fun.” (Source)

I’m sure if the interviewer would have asked about Britney’s kids Amerie would have said she won employee of the month at KinderCare since she managed to make EVERY SINGLE THING in this interview about her. Jesus! I guess you have to get that promotion where ever you can. The notion of taking advice from Amerie is kind of hilarious, though. It would be like Rihanna giving someone tips on how to pick up a black man.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]

Jennifer Lopez Covers “Us” Magazine

10 10 2007

Ray Charles saw this coming at midnight. These celebs KILL me. What’s wrong with admitting that you are pregant? Rather than wearing your best tablecloth and acting like you always wear a “fashionable” mumu out in public. Girl stop!

And Britney Spears? That broad needs a whooping from a black mama. She done lost her rooty tooty fruity mind. Applying for a bartending job while your supposed to be court-ordered sober to keep your kids?

I know crackheads who take better care of their children than she does! Does she want them to grow up listening to “Popozao” for the rest of their lives?! Those children will be mentally retarded listening to that tomfoolery.

Who would have ever thought that Kevin Federline would be “Dad of the Year.” You got to be the worse mother in a month of Sundays for him to earn that title! Ay dios mio.

A hot mess, indeed.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 8% [?]

New Music: Britney Spears - “Radar”

8 10 2007

LOL is she doing “The Robot”? I love this picture.

Britney Spears - “Radar”

I posted “Gimme More” a while ago, so I figured I’d post the latest Britney Spears song to hit the web.

Eh, I don’t like it. She sounds like a chipmunk on that Texas Lean ROFL. If I was deaf, this would be awesome!

Take it or leave it, but Britney has made better dance-pop music than this. “Gimme More” goes hard in the club. I think to this day her best song will always be “Toxic”. Hands down.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 10% [?]

Laugh of the Day: Scrapped Britney Performance Footage

12 09 2007

I swear this will be the last post we make about this mess (Maybe). I just couldn’t help it, this was hilarious! I fell out at these sloths just looking around because that’s exactly how miss thing looked on the stage: DAZED AND CONFUSED. Around the :15 mark you will notice a sloth in the background wrapped in a blanket. LMFAO! I take it that’s Sean Preston?

Bonus LOLs: Uh oh, I better be careful before homeslice in this video comes and puts a HEX on me for clowning on Shitney. He means it!


(Props to Adina for the linkage.)

Posted by J

Popularity: 9% [?]

Ashanti Throwing Stones From Her Glass House?

11 09 2007

Ashanti decided to get in on the sport of Britney-bashing (Good Lord in Heaven I am so SICK of this shit) following the awards on Sunday, MSN reports.

When USA Today asked Ashanti what she thought of Brit-Brit’s blah bump-and-grind, she “laughed, rolled her eyes and walked away” before her rep stepped in and said she had no comment.

Look, Shan, you ain’t exactly Aretha Franklin so I’d be careful about throwing this shade around. I mean, I know it’s “in” to diss Britney these days but damn. The last time I remember seeing Ashanti on stage she was doing that same tired hip-rock and trying to hit those faux-high notes. This is like if a paraplegic said Chris Brown’s dance moves were wack.

Posted by J

Popularity: 11% [?]

FYI: Confirmed - Britney Is Opening The VMA’s

6 09 2007

Britney's Wigs
Whoever made this has a special place reserved in hell for them ROFL

For those who care, it has been confirmed that Madonna V3.0 will be performing/opening the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday.

Tell us something we don’t know.

Britney continues to make irrelevant MTV her b-i-a. She of course is performing her new single “Gimme More,” and will be out of breath and lipsyncing like a pro!

She has got to be out of shape…I am waiting to see this anxiously! I hope one of her wigs falls off.

Posted by the IPS

Popularity: 4% [?]

New Music: Britney Spears - “Gimme More”

30 08 2007

Britney Spears

Britney Spears - “Gimme More” Produced by Nate “Danja” Hills


All the drag queens, break out your vogue! This song is for you! I want to see some “J-Setting” or whatever the hell ya’ll call it. The Young Madonna of our time has finally broken her musical silence. Some rejoice, some weep. Baby Jesus is still on the fence from what I hear.

Britney, them cigarettes kinda make her lower register smoky and sexy LOL.

I’m not mad, Brisky makes me dance. I just pity the studio engineer that was stuck working on this record hahahahaha.

I’m shamed to say ya’ll — I kinna like this. On the first verse, I was like, “YAHHH BISH YAHHH!” but by the time chorus hit, I was moving my shoulders, and then 1 minute later I was tapping my foot. Lil’ Timbaland does his thang.

It’s no “Toxic” but hey, you can’t expect everyone to make a hit every album.

Another song leaked called “Cold as Fire”. Not really feeling this one too much…but it’s still dancey, which is KEY for Brisky!

Oh and check out her official website, if you need proof that this is indeed the new song: http://www.britney.com/

Posted by the IPS

Popularity: 14% [?]

Britney Spears is a Soccer Mom & Aunt Viv Is Racing Against Time

19 08 2007

It has been verified by X-17 — Britney Spears is qutting music to become a soccer mom! News at 11!

Click to enlarge

These are pics of her without those horrible wigs. She needs to come to Compton and get the good wigs from the hood — I rarely see a church mother with a bad wig! I don’t know where she gets hers from. You think Tina Knowles & Vivica Fox would do an intervention, though Aunt Viv was out and about last week lookin like her hairline was UPSET with her botoxed forehead!

In the immortal words of T-Pain, “Shawty got class! Oh behave!”

Her outfit is well put together I think. Minus that headband. She needed to pull that joint downnnnnnnnnn!

Spotted at ONTD

Posted by the IPS

Popularity: 6% [?]

For the love of all that is holy, stop interviewing T-Pain

11 06 2007

T-Pain and the media want me dead.

There is no other way to explain this phenomena of him being interviewed every three seconds about shit he really has no business talking about. And by that, I mean nothing, because he really should just keep his mouth shut at all times. I mean, just look at the picture. Does this look like an individual who has any knowledge of important issues, much less an interesting sound byte to give?

In this most recent vaguely coherent, incredibly unintelligent moment, T-Pain spoke to Yahoo! about working with Britney Spears, and somehow R. Kelly came into the mix (?! I told you, THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!):

“That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, ‘Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.’ She still had hair and all that [when I worked with her]. People were like, ‘We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.’ She went… ‘Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?’ You can’t hate R. Kelly. You can’t hate Britney Spears because you know what, no matter what Britney Spears been doing, she’s still on TV. Every time I say something about her, people are like, ‘For real, Britney Spears. How was that?’ You can’t get rid of these people no matter what they do. R. Kelly, 16 years in the game, one incident can’t take away the last 15 years.”

There’s so much going on in this paragraph I feel as though I’ve spun around in a circle three times and then tried to read it. I would say T-Pain was not only drunk on “Tussin” during this interview, he was listening to “I Am Not My Hair” immediately previous to it. And what exactly do Britney Spears and R. Kelly have to do with each other, besides both being trainwrecks? I mean, I know Britney is white trash and all, but let us not be cruel and lump her in the same category as someone who treats high school girls like an outhouse.

Posted by J

Popularity: 5% [?]

Bumpkin Britney takes the stage for a hot second

2 05 2007

Britney Spears was back in action last night in San Diego with a bumpin’ new wig and hoochie get up to please her fans and, maybe more importantly, to pull herself out of the red. It was her first live performance in over three years.

The gig at House of Blues, whose doors opened at 7:30 pm though the show didn’t start until after 10 pm, lasted a whopping 14 minutes.

And she lip synched.

I guess the last part isn’t surprising in the least, but 14 minutes? Damn. This is some Mariah Carey shit. Except at least Mariah would call me one of her “lambs” and maybe toss me a sample of her 24 karat gold bronzer. Britney reportedly scurried out without so much as a word to fans besides “Thanks for coming out”. Spears fans, you lost.

Posted by J

Popularity: 7% [?]

Timbaland makes me want to kick something

7 03 2007

After conjuring up no fewer than five No. 1 hits for Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado in the past eight months, top producer Timbaland may now be turning his attention to a new project: Britney Spears.

The hitmaker tells EW he would like to work with the troubled star, who — at press time — was enrolled in a 30-day-minimum rehab program at Promises Malibu, an inpatient treatment center in Southern California. ”I feel her pain, it really bothers me,” says the influential beatsmith, his voice cracking with emotion. ”I’m the type of person who tries to save the world. I just want to take her away, go overseas, and work [it] out.” And if the pair decide to team up, there could be another unexpected guest. Timbaland reveals to EW that his ”best friend” and Spears’ ex, Justin Timberlake, would be willing to reunite with Britney in the studio. (Representatives for Spears’ and Timberlake’s label, Jive, could not be reached for comment.) Says Timbaland: ”I asked Justin, ‘How would you feel about me working with Britney?’ I had to ask him that. I said, ‘Would you do it with me?”’ According to Timbaland, the singer said he would. ”She’s just gotta be serious.”

And if she were, the payoff could be enormous: The pop-titan trifecta would be Top 40 catnip and a massive boost for Spears, whose career has been all but dormant since she released her last disc of new material, In the Zone, in 2003.

However long it takes, Timbaland is standing by. ”I just want to hold her hand. I want her to be in my camp, to be around Justin. I need Justin to talk to her. Help her, please!” ( Entertainment Weekly)

Oh my God! I’m about to throw up here for real. I guess Timbaland is so busy “saving the world” as he says that he didn’t have enough time to make his own beats. His “best friend” Justin Timberlake, huh? Maybe Scott Storch and ‘nem had something with that taking-it-up-the-butt business.

Popularity: 3% [?]

This is too fantastic to not share…

24 02 2007

Oh these crazy armchair video editors…THIS IS SOME GOOD ISH!


The LOL’s won’t stop coming! I mean, really, I like Amy Winehouse, so how PERFECT is this song right now?

It’s still sad to see stars have MONUMENTAL breakdowns…Britney is flipping her wig…literally.

I can’t wait for the Lifetime “Movie of the Week” version!!

Popularity: 2% [?]