The Sears Catalog Came Early!

3 03 2008

We have a bit of an embargo on Bad Boy affiliated acts over here at AHM!, but since it’s such a slow news day I don’t see the harm in posting these pictures I found in the Olan Mills dumpster for our entertainment.

Diddles looks like he showed up to the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills for a brunch and tea party but instead took some promotional pictures for “A Raisin in the Sun”. The Mr. Rogers gear is bangin’ and I’m sure it will be for sale at Macy’s soon with a big ol’ Sean John riding down the buttons or something.

Posted by J

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Video: Laurieann Gibson - “Addictive”

6 02 2008


OMG OMG OMG OMG

DO
NOT
WANT.

I was *dead* in the first 15 seconds when it said “Somewhere in Boom-Kack, NY”! Not only is this broad delusional thinking anyone would care about her “singing career,” but she’s SO delusional she’s making up cities and ish LOL. I love it. Somewhere Pee Diddy is drunk on Ciroc watching this with Day26 (so geigh) and laughing their a**es off!

I don’t know what’s worse, this or “Rump Shaker” by Deelishes. And you just KNOW Laurieann didn’t have no permits to be in the subway, on the cars, on roofs, etc. They were dancing all fast because they saw the po-po’s coming down the street. Do her and Raz B. have the same videographer? LOL.
Laurieann…please take the “Power of the Boom-Kack” and return to your imaginary world in which you go platinum. Thanks!

She got all them dancers from P.S. 45 and paid them with chinese take-out from the corner bodega ROFL. This is a hot tail flaming melting supernova scorching mess! Bless her soul.

I guess she figured “Paula Abdul got a new video, I CAN DO THAT TOO!”

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 25% [?]



Does His New Assistant Get To Fluff The New Models?

31 01 2008


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Cassie doesn’t get the runway work? Cheri Dennis + and her pleather trenchcoat are not available?

Now Diddy/Sean John/Pee Sh!tty is looking for models for his Fall ‘08 Fashion Show in NYC.

At the end he says, “if you look like a king….if you look like a queen…”

Just for you folks out there, he didn’t mean Kang Latifah or you queens who were just J-setting to “Last Night”, so we’re clear!

However, I respect Diddy for wanting to diversify his fashion endeavors. He sure does talk with his hands, I just noticed that.
If you’re REALLY interested, “be resourceful!” like Diddy said, and go stalk him at Junior’s send in your model card!

A Hot Mess stand up! Do we have any models LOL? Go try out and give us the scoop.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 36% [?]



MTB4 Group Finally Has A Name

28 01 2008

I hear their name is officially the “826 Boys,” signifying the day the group was put together. I mean, I said their new single sounded like a 112 song, but I didn’t think they’d take it that far LOL. Someone please page Master P., Romeo & ‘nem for a guest appearance!!

I quit. Diddy Diddily Damn is officially voted off the island! When is the next race draft coming up? I think we should trade him in for Robin Thicke or Rico Suave or someone!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 23% [?]



Diddy Won’t Have ME Running The City!

25 01 2008


Work For P. Diddy

Diddly Doo-Wop Combs has milked this “I need an assistant” schtick for WAY too long. What happened to the last chick that got the job!? I mean, seriously, put up a cotdang ad on craigslist like everyone else dummy! Negroes with access to television cameras is a bad thing. I need these writers to get off strike IMMEDIATELY!

VH1 is producing a new reality television show that will track 20 finalists as they compete to land the job of a lifetime: Personal Assistant to Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. We are conducting a nationwide search to find the right candidates. Whether you call him P. Diddy, Puffy, or Sean Combs, now is your chance to call this legend of hip-hop…”My Boss.” (Taken from the above website)

My boss? No, I run my OWN business, not work for another one. I’m done with those days. They are having auditions nationwide or you can send in a video.

I’m sorry — there is no way on this planet I would stoop that low. No wonder his company is in the shape that it’s in…he’s too busy doing ish like this. There was a time I used to admire Diddy…but that time is long gone. I’m just disappointed now.

Oh well, maybe Jessie James and D’Lila Star will get a reality show for when they first get potty trained. Or maybe all his OTHER kids will join together and create a show on BET called “Child Support Court.” They can get Shaq’s “extra” child and scour the NBA for more illegitimate children who need to come up!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 32% [?]



New Music: Making the Band 4 - “Got Me Going”

24 01 2008


Click for full size


Making the Band 4 - “Got Me Going”

Hmmm, I like it. Sounds like a Mario Winans production…the beat is grooving and jamming. It reminds me of something…not sure. This TOTALLY could be a 112 song, anyone else feel me on that?

They airbrushed them poor chillun’s to death though. Sugar Diddy Combs so busy changing HIS name, that these nukkas don’t even have a name yet! I’m sure he’s waiting for the season finale or some other lame “TA-DA!” reveal moment.

I will say this though — each and everyone of these negroes CAN SANG, so I really am not mad at much they do. I look forward to hearing new music. Supposedly this is their official single.

Someone at Bad Boy lost their job because this is STRAIGHT from the studio LOL.

The show premieres Monday! Are you ready? I will most likely be live-blogging it for our enjoyment LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 41% [?]



Don’t Think This Will Make Us Care About You

24 01 2008

Sigh.

Diddy is changing his name again.

The new title Combs is considering ties in with the brand name of his signature aftershave, and says the name reflects where he’s at in his career. “I have always evolved and taken a different name each time.

“Right now I want to be Sean John because that’s where I am right now”. (Source)

This is some Grade A Fuckery, fresh from the Foolywang Farm. Expiration date: About seven years ago, the last time someone cared about Puff the Magic Dragon or any of his stupid ass names. He can call himself “Rubber Chickensuit” for all I care, I’m not buying another one of his records.

Posted by J

Popularity: 36% [?]



Vote For The New Danity Kane Single, If You Dare/Care

17 01 2008

Atlantic Records has a poll up on their website where you can vote for the new Danity Kane single. I’m gonna jack the streaming links for ya’ll, but head over to the site if you care to vote for their new joint. None of the songs that have leaked are up for single apparently, but that’s fine with me. I will admit “2 of You” grew on me though.

Danity Kane - “Damaged”
(This is what I voted for. It’s cool, I could bump this.)

Dantiy Kane - “Pretty Boy”
(Hell to tha monkey naw!)

Making the Band 4 premieres on January 28th, 2008! I can’t wait to see Q “The Queen” fighting with Big Mike over who gets to sleep on the right side of the bed, and D. Woods callin’ Aubrey “a Diddy-lickin’ ho” and beating her down Southern style!

A man can dream, right? Thanks divaTy for the lanky lank! I ♥ you!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 29% [?]



Diddy & His Kitty

10 12 2007

Well, this is about as surprising as Queen Latifah *possibly* coming out of the closet:

December 10, 2007 — SEAN “Diddy” Combs is in love again. The hip-hop mogul made the decision to “cut off the various girls he has around the world” and settle down with on-and-off flame Cassie - at least for now. “She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and they’re in Miami together now,” our source said of the singer. Friends on both sides of the camp are whispering about their reunion. “They’re holed up together in Miami, very low-key. He’s really in love with her,” said the insider. (source)

Cassie needs to go back through the history books to see that hitting skins with your producer/label head is never a good thing. Just ask Mariah Carey. While Tommy Mattola made her a star, he also treated her like sh*t!

But….Mariah could sing.

I guess Cassie maybe realized that she could only get “so far” with Ryan Leslie and just threw her hands up in the air and said if she has got to go out like that, effin’ for trax, might as well go out a kept woman! Get that money!

I don’t blame Diddy, Cassie is one fine woman. But…this just makes one wonder…how long has this REALLY been going on…

That is one sex tape I DON’T want to see *shudders*. Probably as boring as Kim Kardashian and Ray-J. Cassie sitting there chewing gum and Diddy saying all kinds of retarded man isht like “take that, take that. I’mma Bad Boy baby. D-I-D-D-Y, it’s Diddy!” Don’t he just SEEM like that dude!? ROFL! 

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 31% [?]



Diddy Flies His Homies In For His 60th Birthday

15 11 2007
A mess at this picture. Is he going to prom?

Diddy turned 38 (HA!) last week and had a big birthday celebration on Saturday, for which he flew a jet out to his “friends” Jay-Z, Pharrell and Kim Porter (wow!) to come attend.

The party apparently came to a close with fireworks flashing: “Diddy. The World Is Yours.” Yawn. (Source)

Diddy is like one of those rich kids with no friends in elementary school who gets everyone to come to their party by providing a new watch or a digital camera in the goodie bag.

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]



You’re Yesterday’s Cutty, Assie

23 10 2007

Cassie came out to help Diddy promote the new Sean John line, but it looked like Puff was more focused on Cassie’s co-model Lauren London. Both hot, but I’d say he has the right idea. I guess this makes Cassie “Old-Old”? *rimshot* I’ll be here all week, folks.

More pics after the jump.

Posted by J

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Diddy Gets Buck…With His Security Guard Nearby.

14 10 2007

Sean “Diddy” Combs allegedly socked a man twice in the face after they’d jawed at each other at a SoHo afterparty early yesterday, police sources said.

His Diddyness was holding court with pals and bodyguards at Kiosk, on Spring Street, at around 3:30 a.m. when he got into an argument with an acquaintance, Steven Acevedo, over a woman, the sources told The Post’s Larry Celona.

Acevedo told cops that the two stepped away from each other, but resumed exchanging heated insults minutes later and that an irate Combs then threw a classic syncopated one-two combo - hitting him in the face twice while screaming, “I’ll kill you, punk!”

Acevedo was left with a bloody nose and a fat lip, the sources said, and as he tried to get back at Combs, a bodyguard appeared to reach under his waist - as if for a gun.

The beaten hip-hop scenester said he then went home, called 911 and filed a report. But later, reached at home, he declined to comment. (source)

Janice, please come get your child.

I really don’t understand these kats’ need for machismo. Fighting over a chick? I mean, you ain’t got enough chicks to worry about ALREADY? And got some more “chicks” on the way I hear (I can’t believe black men are still having unprotected sex). Ole’ Wally the Wombat lookin’…
Diddy, you are too old and too wealthy to be brawling in the club. Leave that ish to 50 year drunk men with crushed velvet leisure suits and 20-something faux thugs who wear chucks and wifebeaters to the club.

If I was rich, I’d be throwing parties IN MY HOUSE. That way, no riff-raff would be around to press charges and get me bodied up in prison.

And I love how Diddy always gets “froggy” when he got his bodyguard around. If I had a big ole ninja named Tom Brown around me too, I’d be running my fists through schlumps heads all day, erry day. And, promptly leaving out the back door LOL.

And he ain’t got nothing more “gangsta” than, “I’ll kill you, punk!” ???

I vote we vote him off the island!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 16% [?]



Diddy Admits to Fathering Child with Atlanta Woman

8 10 2007

Don’t look now, but Diddy’s stable of chi’runs just got one more with Señor Combs admitting that he fathered a baby girl with Atlanta woman Sarah Chapman, which is what led to Kim Porter leaving him. This is his fifth biological child, with six all together including Kim’s oldest son.

After getting all the blood work done and confirming he is in fact the father more than a year after her birth (Where’s Maury when you need him?), Diddy has legally claimed responsibility for 15-month old Chance.

“At first, I wasn’t sure if this was my child,” he said. “Now that it has become clear she is, I will take care of her for the rest of her life.

Combs, 37, and Porter, 36, welcomed daughters Jessie James and D’Lila Star last December. They also have a son, Christian, 8. Combs has a 13-year-old son, Justin, with ex-girlfriend Misa Hylton-Brim. He’s also been a father to Porter’s son, Quincy.

Combs wants to be part of Chance’s life and has worked out visitation and support terms with Chapman, according to sources. Combs has also been trying to repair his relationship with Porter, they add. (Source)

Are we supposed to give him a cookie for taking care of his kids? Like Chris Rock said, “You SUPPOSED to take care of your kids!”

I’m just DEAD at this woman naming the baby girl Chance. You know her ass was sitting around with her feet up at eight months pregnant looking at Diddy videos being like “This is my chance to get rich. Hey, wait a minute…”

Posted by J

Popularity: 8% [?]



Mimi responded to Diddy

25 09 2007

As some of you know Diddy released a statement saying some mess about knowing women fragrances and how he can’t be topped so he issued a challenge:

“I send out a challenge…I challenge all of my female counterparts that have fragrances…that my fragrance is better than theirs. I’m a man and I know how women should smell

Mariah wasn’t having NONE OF THAT NONSENSE!

“I heard about this competition, and I wish Puff all the best with his new fragrance, but I think we’re actually appealing to different types of women. M by Mariah Carey is about being unforgettable, not unforgivable. It’s not about a ménage à trois or a one night stand, it’s for the woman who wants the man to fall in love with her immediately, stay in love, and treat her like royalty.”

Get ‘em! Like IPS told me, she might as well said “Diddy’s perfume is for hoes while mine is for housewives.” I can’t wait to see how this plays out. I’m sure Kim Porter went out and bought a truckload of M after this mess.

Posted by Erin T.

Popularity: 8% [?]



Diddy Buys E, And I Don’t Mean Exfoliant from Pro-Activ

6 09 2007


Like Pops said from “The Wayans Bros.” - “Shhhhhh, don’t tell noooooooo-body!”

Diddy got caught on camera buying some Ecstasy in Ibiza.

OMG ya’ll he even has that classic, “I’m not doing nothing I shouldn’t be doing!” face. You know that face you used to get as a child when you were kicking the dog and your mom kept turning around to make sure you weren’t? LOL.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVkvdeaz7lc]

You can even hear him asking for two pills! Smile Diddy, you’re on Youtube camera! He sure ain’t buying roses from the Latino lady who walks by your table at every.mexican.restaurant.in.los.angeles! (Bitter much, me?)

Kim Porter: “Your Honor, my fake-play husband is a drug addict and pops pills to ease the pain of his flopping album and to soothe the herpes he got from Cassie, and lastly, to help him ignore the fact that he just had another baby in the Dirty Dirty.”

Judge: “Ms. Porter, what is the Dirty Dirty? Is that a strip club? Your panties?”

Kim Porter: “Sorry your Honor, even though I caught something Dirty Dirty from this no-good negro, I was referencing the illegitimate love child he fathered with the server from Ron Winans & Glady Knight’s Chicken and Waffle House.”

Judge: “Settlement to Kim Porter in the amount of ALL OF IT.”

Kim Porter: “I’m ritch b!tch!”

“Sweet Minty Jesus, we pray that you surround Diddly with a great defense team and damage control. Let the Spirit of Johnnie Cochran fill his lawyer’s veins. In Flusher’s name we pray, Yaygawt.”

Posted by the IPS

Popularity: 5% [?]