The Candyman Can(’t)

12 03 2008

Juelz Santana was busted driving in New Jersey with a suspended license, some pot, hollow-point bullets and a gang of candy. This just can’t be a good combination.

Rapper Juelz Santana is expected to appear in municipal court in New Jersey on Wednesday after police pulled him over for driving with a suspended license and found marijuana and hollow-point bullets in his Bentley, the Daily News has learned.

Santana, 26, whose real name is LaRon James, was arrested last week as he approached the entrance of his home in the gated Glenpointe community in Teaneck.

“This is bull—-,” Santana yelled when pulled over, Officer John Abraham said.

Abraham said he smelled marijuana and saw a green leafy substance on the center console as well as marijuana roaches and Dutch Master and White Owl cigars used to make blunts.

Santana, who was born in Harlem, also had a hand-rolled cigar laced with marijuana in his shoe, cops said.

In the trunk, police said they found 29 hollow-point bullets wrapped in a sock and $19,500 rolled in small bundles and hidden in a plastic bag filled with “hundreds of Jolly Rancher” candies.

Police also found a plastic sandwich bag of marijuana in the backseat of the cruiser, where Santana had been sitting after he was arrested. (Source)

Damn, where was Juelz going, to murk the candy lady who sells Tootsie Pops for a nickel a piece? Was she moving in on his market? I know times are hard since DipSet is breaking up or whatever but I never pictured him turning to the black market candy trade.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]


12 03 2008

Boy, for someone who hates being known for being a former meth head so much, Fergie sure talks about it a lot.

“I had about 20 different conspiracy theories. I painted the windows in my apartment black so ‘they’ couldn’t see in,” the star admitted. She also explained how she believed everyone was against her, even a potential good Samaritan. “One day, when I was about 90 pounds, a guy comes up to me… I’m searching in the bushes for clues about whatever they’re after me for. I’m in a cowboy hat and red lips. He hands me a muffin. I’m thinking, he’s in on it.” (Source)

Is she sure she isn’t confusing her life with the plotline to Pulse?

I think if I had my choice between being a crackhead and a meth head I would definitely go with crack because I don’t think they would turn down a muffin if they were offered it. I’d eat that bitch up and then go walking down the street looking for the free crack giveaway while Fergie’s in your planter box playing Sherlock Holmes.

P.S. Extra brownie points to anyone who can name the movie my new category tag is from.

Posted by J

Popularity: 24% [?]

Would You Want Your Kids Looking Up To THIS?

27 02 2008

Bobby Brown has evaded jail time in Brockton, Massachusetts after getting caught with cocaine there in December. Instead, Brown has been given one year community service MENTORING KIDS. Why do they kids have to get punished for his crime?

He got his wish and no criminal charges will issue, as Brown opted to carry out community service by mentoring children and young adults in the underprivileged city.

Brown’s attorney Stephanie Soriano told the Boston Herald that the 39-year-old singer will begin community service within a couple of months. (Source)

I guess I’ve been living under a rock because I didn’t realize he got busted AGAIN, or maybe no one reported it because that would be like reporting that the sun rose this morning.

I’m mad at them thinking Bobby Brown would be a good choice to mentor kids from the ‘hood. They already have enough problems without having to hear “Humpin’ Around” on repeat while being forced to line up that cocaina on top of a “Power Rangers” lunchbox.

Posted by J

Popularity: 46% [?]

Rick Ross Buys Axe Buy The Ki-Load

13 02 2008

My peoples at Blender (if you’re reading, I want an internship!) sat down with Rick “Osama” Ross to talk about some stuff. This is why I love Blender, because they ask hilarious ass shit like “What’s your favorite Snapple?” Any other magazine would ask what inspired him, the neighborhood he grew up in, yada yada yada.

This interview had me cracking up! When he said his friend jumped off the bridge in the “Speedin’” video did he mean for 300 DOLLARS or $300,000? It wouldn’t really make a difference to me (I could use an extra $300) but I’m just sayin’.

And let me just note that I don’t think the stench of Mary Jane is the only thing Mr. Ross is using Axe to cover up. That beard probably has creatures and all sorts of foul smelling things inhabiting it. Bump Axe, I would throw some Raid on that bitch.

Posted by J

Popularity: 36% [?]

Pimp C Died From That Lean

5 02 2008


Everyone called this shit already but the LA County Coroner’s Office has made it official: Pimp C died from drinking sizzurp, in combination with a condition known as sleep apnea.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Influential Southern rapper Pimp C died of an accidental overdose of a combination of drugs he had named in his lyrics — codeine and promethazine, the county coroner’s office ruled Monday.

The drugs are key ingredients in “syrup,” a narcotic of choice in Southern rap circles that was most famously celebrated by Three 6 Mafia and Pimp C’s group Underground Kingz in the 2000 single “Sippin’ on some Syrup.”

The coroner’s office said Pimp C had sleep apnea, which causes people to stop breathing for up to 30 seconds at a time while sleeping. That illness combined with large amounts of prescription-strength cough syrup is what killed the rapper, coroner’s Capt. Ed Winter said. (Source)

A damn shame.

Posted by J 

Popularity: 18% [?]

Mo’Nique’s Ex Says She Pushes That China White

31 01 2008

Mo’Nique’s ex-man is trying to sell a tell-all book about living with her. Ummmmm. I love Mo’Nique but come on. Anyway, this dude says Mo’nique smokes a lot of pot and sells drugs on the side when the checks are slow to come in.

Actress Mo’nique has hit out at claims made by her ex-fiance that she smokes and deals drugs and once threatened to have him killed.

Marvin Dawson, 28, dated the 40-year-old star of Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins until she ditched him in 2003 because of his criminal record that included theft, gun and drug possession charges.

But Dawson claims Mo’nique is a hypocrite, telling the National Enquirer, “Not only was she an avid marijuana user, but she also did cocaine. And what’s worse, she began making money dealing coke.”

Dawson also accuses her of tax evasion and adds that when they broke up, “Mo’nique threatened my life. She said if I ever told anyone about her lifestyle, she’d hire someone to kill me.”

Dawson claims he is planning to write a book about his life with the star.

But Mo’nique’s lawyer Warren Brown has hit back: “Marvin Dawson has no credibility - he’s a nut. If she was dealing in kilos of cocaine, the DEA (drugs enforcement agency) should have her on their suspects list. See if they have anything on her. That’s dumb.” (Source)

LOL @ Mo’Nique’s lawyer. He’s dropping science! I need to get him the next time I catch a case (just kidding, I’m a good boy).

And so what if Mo smokes a little weed? It’s not like she’s shooting up heroin in a back alley somewhere. She likes to get her puff on and shut the Denny’s down at 4 am. I ain’t mad at that.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]

Amy In Rehab

25 01 2008

I hate that everyone is going for the MOST obvious joke EVAR - “Winehouse in rehab? Yes, yes, yes!” Ugh, dig a hole bury yourselves for that one.

More rehab for Amy Winehouse? Yes, yes, yes. The jazz-pop diva best known for refusing to enter drug rehab in her hit song entered a treatment facility Thursday. The announcement came just days after the 24-year-old was pictured in British tabloid The Sun inhaling fumes from a small pipe. Police are investigating.

“Amy decided to enter the facility today after talks with her record label, management, family and doctors,” Universal Music Group said in a statement. The statement also indicated Winehouse still planned to attend and perform at the Grammys, to be held Feb. 10 in Los Angeles.

“She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction,” the statement said. (Source)

I pray God speed and I hope they chain that momofooka DOWN. Execution-style! I don’t want Amy to die! And how could we go on without her “Pretty Pretty Princess” Ballet slippers M.I.A. from the picture game? My life wouldn’t be complete!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]

Weezy Thinks He’s Frank Lucas

23 01 2008

Lil’ Wayne’s stupid ass has been arrested YET AGAIN in YET ANOTHER STATE on YET ANOTHER DRUG CHARGE. This time the police caught him at border patrol with a gang of drugs which could land him in some serious trouble.

Wayne, real name Dwayne Carter, was arrested with two others who have been charged with possession of marijuana. Cops say they found 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine and 41 grams of ecstasy pills on his tour bus — after they stopped at a Border Patrol checkpoint.

Police also found $22,000 in cash and a 40-caliber pistol, but Wayne, we’re told, does have a permit to carry a concealed weapon in the state of Florida. They tell us they’re checking to see if that carries over to Arizona. (Source)

Where was he going, a rave in the Arizona desert? This is getting to be a bit much. I know he doesn’t need that much for himself and he sure doesn’t need to slang since people are lining up to get his features and he would do a duet with Gary from Spongebob if it meant he’d get paid.

Posted by J

Popularity: 24% [?]

Heath Ledger Found Dead

22 01 2008

The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.

At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities.

The police said they did not suspect foul play. Officials said pills were found near the body. (Source)

This is crazy! Anyone following the news knows Brad Renfro died last week at 25. They say famous deaths come in threes so let’s hope that’s not true.

Assorted Updates from TMZ:

* The pills found were over-the-counter and may have been sleep-aid Ambien

* Heath had substance abuse problems in the past but a friend says he’d been clean for a year.

* He was NOT in Mary-Kate Olsen’s apartment

* Too early to determine if death was accidental or suicide

Posted by J 

Popularity: 32% [?]

She’s ACTUALLY Smoking Crack

22 01 2008

Well, by now you’ve probably heard about this that The Sun has footage of Amy Winehouse smoking crack in a hotel room. We all knew Amy was on “that stuff” but who knew that it was really, just ACTUALLY, crack rocks. I figured heroin and maybe meth but crack? This video is kind of choppy, the sound goes in and out, but the picture is clear enough. This makes me really sad and I can’t make any jokes about her anymore because I truthfully think she’s going to die soon if she doesn’t get help.

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]

Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug!

16 01 2008

Rock n’ roll pioneer Ike Turner’s death last month at age 76 was caused by a cocaine overdose, the San Diego County Medical Examiner’s office said Wednesday.

“We are listing that he abused cocaine, and that’s what resulted in the cocaine toxicity,” said Paul Parker, chief investigator at the medical examiner’s office.

The medical examiner’s office also listed hypertensive cardiovascular disease and pulmonary emphysema as “significant and contributing factors” to Turner’s death, Parker said.

A telephone call from The Associated Press seeking comment from the attorney of Turner’s daughter, Mia Turner, was not immediately returned.

Turner, whose musical accomplishments were overshadowed by his image as the man who brutally abused former wife Tina Turner, died Dec. 12 after years of drug abuse. He was jailed in 1989 and served 17 months.

Well, color me shocked with a Crayola Washable.

Posted by J

Popularity: 31% [?]

Mary Denies Steroid Allegations

16 01 2008

Mary J. Blige is slamming allegations that she took steroids to enhance her body or appearance in any way, while the others accused have stayed quiet and tried to figure out a way to spin this mess.

The singer’s spokeswoman Karynne Tencer tells the New York Daily News, “Mary J. Blige has never taken any performance-enhancing illegal steroids.” (Source)

I know when Mary heard this news she was like “Aw, hell naw!” and picked up the braid ponytail from her dresser and slapped Kendu with it. He probably ordered them to try and stay and shape with her because you know she be kicking his ass on the regular. “Kendu! Bring mama some Liptons, and it better be cold this time or you know it’s gonna be problems.”

Posted by J

Popularity: 26% [?]

Marion Jones To Appear On “Oprah”

15 01 2008

Leave it Oprah to bag the exclusive. Expect lots of crying! Maybe Oprah will give her a car?

Marion Jones will visit the “Oprah Winfrey Show” Wednesday (1/16) to discuss the legal issues that led to her six-month jail sentence for lying about steroid use and committing check fraud. (source)

While at first I felt bad for Marion, I quickly lost that loving feeling when the truth came out that she had been lying the whole time. I mean, really. If she had just admitted it all up front, they probably wouldn’t have been as harsh, which I think I remember someone saying. When they took her medals and suspended her, I’m pretty sure they were like “well, it was bad, but the broad LIED the whole time, and that made it even worse.”

I hope Dr. Dre, Wyclef & whoever else just admit they been getting “the clear” if they really did LOL. Though Wyclef hasn’t really made any music that the masses has liked for a while, and Dr. Dre has been holed up in his home gym getting pumped up like The Governator — he’s almost become a mythical figure LOL. Apparently Mary has already denied the reports that she ever used STEROIDS, but she said nothing about the human growth hormone. Hmmmm…that ponders me. ROFL.

This whole thing is a mess.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 17% [?]

Mary J., Timbaland, 50 Cent, Wyclef & Tyler Perry Named In Steroid Scandal

13 01 2008

Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, 50 Cent, Wyclef Jean and Tyler Perry have been named in relation with a steroids trafficking case in Albany, NY that has already landed athletes like Barry Bonds and Marion Jones in hot water.

Information has surfaced recently showing those stars are among tens of thousands of people who may have used or received prescribed shipments of steroids and injectable human growth hormone in recent years. Law enforcement officials have said they have no evidence in their sprawling multistate probe that customers, including Blige or other entertainers, violated any laws. Instead, they are targeting anti-aging clinics, doctors and pharmacists who prescribed the drugs.

Still, medical experts say that use of steroids and human growth hormone — an estimated $10 billion-a-year operation worldwide — reaching into the entertainment industry illustrates how pervasive steroids use in the United States has become. It is not unique to athletics, where performance-enhancing drug use has marred many sports. For many celebrities, the lure of hormonal drugs is their supposed, unproven anti-aging effects.

While Congress is preparing to focus on baseball players alleged to have taken the drugs, medical experts are warning that steroids and human growth hormone are being illegally prescribed nationwide at an alarming rate under the misconception they will aid healing, enhance looks, strength and speed, or slow aging.

Records shared with the Times Union and information from several cooperating witnesses on Long Island indicate Blige and other stars were shipped prescribed human growth hormone or steroids — sometimes under fictitious names — at hotels, production studios, private residences, an upscale Manhattan fitness club and through the Long Island office of Michael Diamond, a chiropractor affiliated with the celebrities, sources said.

“In the end the story is less about the entertainers and the athletes and more about the people who are providing them with the drugs,” Olshansky said. “They can’t get those drugs without somebody with a degree giving it to them.”

Still, big names draw interest, including in Congress, where hearings are set to begin this week on a report issued last month by former Sen. George Mitchell that exposed widespread steroids abuse in professional baseball. (Source)

This shit is crazy! I guess some of them are less surprising than others (50, Timbaland) but wow! Mary?! Tyler Perry?! This same paper had a breakdown on specifics for each of the celebrities’ implied usage (see the jump).

Posted by J

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Popularity: 27% [?]

Sweet Minty Jesus Is About To Rain Down Fire on DMX

2 01 2008

I done heard and seen it all. First Mase was a Pastor, then he decided he liked trannies in ATL so he became Murda Ma$e again, but now he’s preaching. DMX was a rapper, then he wanted to be a Pastor, then back to a rapper, and now he’s doing Gospel albums!? Tashera Simmons will NOT be MY first lady!

These rappers really need to stay on their meds and quit playing with people’s emotions!

Many of DMX’s conversations with God have been a matter of public record since his career bloomed to superstar status in 1998. His catalog features nearly as many inspirational ghetto hymns — such as “Lord Give Me a Sign,” “A Minute for Your Son” and “The Prayer” — as it does party anthems and street-corner knockers, and in 2006 he pondered changing his name for “spiritual reasons.” But now, the Dog has decided to go in full-throttle with his first-ever gospel-rap album, which he told MTV News will be coming out this year.

“I [was] the first n—a to put out two albums in one year [It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot and Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood in 1998], now I’m gonna hit ‘em again — drop two albums on the same f—in’ day, yo,” X said from his home in Arizona on Friday. “A double album will make mutha—-as mad [not saved?], because they gotta spend more money — plus it’s already a long [double] album. I’m talking about a hip-hop album and a gospel album.”

Combined, the project will be called Walk With Me Now and You’ll Fly With Me Later.

The Walk With Me Now portion will be dedicated to straight-up, raw raps, while the latter will feature his non-secular undertaking.

As for the gospel album, X noted that the lyrics will be “without cursing — how ’bout that one? No songs about b—-es, no songs about robbing, just straight ‘Give God the glory.’ ” [The IPS passes out from the irony of this statement]

Read more here

LOL, I found a gif this weekend that describes this perfectly:

Can  you imagine a DMX Gospel album!? “Thank you Jesus…for saving me from killing them m-fer’s…RUFF RUFF HOWWWWWWL BARK BARK JESUS SAVES NIGGAS! PRAISE HIM NIGGA!”

If he does a love song with Yolanda Adams I am officially turning in my Jesus piece and going to sell my chocolate body on Broadway. This is getting out of HAND! I’d buy a Fonsworth Bentley matching Umbrella/CD/Tie set before I bought a DMX Gospel album, sorry. DMX once cranked out hits, consistently. Now he probably just does crank, consistently.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]