Carmelo’s Mafia Days Glamour Shot

15 04 2008

Just kidding, it’s a mug shot from a DUI arrest yesterday in Denver. God, I am sick to death of doing these DUI posts. There’s a contagious strain of stupid amongst famous people that makes them think they can drive drunk. Look, asshole, you may make more money than I am but you’re still just as good as I am behind the wheel after a few dranks. In fact, I bet my Geo handles better than your Bentley. Smaller and easier to weave. Not that I would know. *hides from MADD*

Doesn’t Carmelo look like a has-been guido in this mugshot? You would think they popped him for roughing up the locals into “buying protection” or for making someone “swim with the fishes”. Carmelo even sounds like a cheesy mafia name. Oh wait, I’m thinking of Carmela from “Sopranos”.

I’m sure LaLa was at home with that baby of theirs that can’t even hold its neck up yet changing diapers and wiping up baby puke while Carmelo was out with his boys at the strip club throwing back dranks. SMH. I bet she beat his ass when she bailed him out.

Posted by J

Popularity: 13% [?]



Diddy: ‘Cassie Cocooned Into A Butterfly’

8 04 2008

Diddles says Jumpoff #2084 has “cocooned into a butterfly” while working on her second album. Spread your wings and prepare to flop!

Ryan Leslie protégé, Cassie will return to the music scene this summer with the release of her sophomore album.

The Bad Boy/Next Selection artist has been working with some of the hottest producers for her sophomore set. Though the album tracks are not finalized, Cassie did tell Billboard earlier this year that she teamed up with Ryan Leslie, Seven, Mario Winans, Bryan Michael Cox, Eric Hudson, Sean C and LV for her follow-up album.

Bad Boy label head, Diddy, told Billboard a surprise is in store for Cassie fans.

“There’s a huge [cry] out there for a younger Britney Spears, a younger Janet Jackson. Those two great artists have paved the way.”

Casssie’s 2006 self-titled album sold 321,000 copies in the US, according to Nielsen’s SoundScan. The album’s hit single “Me & U” made it to No. 1 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart and No. 3 on the Hot 100. Additionally, it sold more than 1 million digital downloads.

A novice to the music scene, Cassie endured criticism in 2006 after a handful of less than stellar performances.

On the topic of Cassie’s growth since the 2006 incident, Diddy said, “I just don’t think she was ready. I think that we threw her into the spotlight without the artist development — that goes on with a lot of new artists. We pulled out, we took our time, we developed her for like, a year-and-a-half. People are just going to see her there and be like, ‘Wow, she’s really cocooned into a butterfly.’” (Source)

I guess that made her a caterpillar with Down Syndrome before? Let me stop.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]



Jail Is The New Sex For Selling Female Rappers

4 04 2008

The queen of wonkiness Foxy Brown will star in her own reality show on VH1 pending her release from prison in the coming weeks. Brown’s show will serve as a spotlight on her life readjusting after being locked up and also promotion for her long-delayed album, Brooklyn’s Don Diva.

Brown, who was sentenced to a year in prison in September of 2007 [for more stupid crimes than I thought were humanly possible -J], is currently imprisoned at the Rose Singer Center for women on Rikers Island.

“The past year has been a difficult one for Foxy, but now, the countdown has started,” a representative for the rapper told AllHipHop.com. “She will be out in the next two weeks, so we are aligning everything for her now.”

Brown will be freed for the May 13 release of her new album Brooklyn’s Don Diva, which features production by Kanye West, Swizz Beatz and others.

Brown’s reality show will focus on the rapper’s post-jail time as she readjusts to life and starts the promotion for Brooklyn’s Don Diva.

The show will chronicle her life and what’s she’s been doing. The music business has changed, she’s been away for eight months, so the show will show her getting her life back on track.”

Foxy Brown also put her eight months in prison to good use, as she has chronicled her experiences for a new untitled book. (Source)

This is the second jail show featuring a female rapper to come out in the past two years. Figures.

I’ve been fooled by the Foxy press machine before, so let’s just say I’m not holding my breath on any of this actually coming to fruition, particularly Kanye and Swizz working on her new album. An anonymous “representative” gave the information? You need more people. I know Babs better put down the cell phone before her MetroPCS minutes run out.

What has Foxy been up to, hmmm, let’s see, maybe SITTING ON HER ASS? Apparently she scratched out some memoirs on some toilet paper too, yippee.

I wonder if Remy will try to parlay her situation into some press. Seeing as her sentence is one hell of a long time, maybe she’ll put on a variety show with the girls from Cell Block E. I’m sure she’ll scan double spork her first week in the joint.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]



Throw Her Ass Under The Jail

3 04 2008

Naomi Campbell has been arrested once again, this time for striking a police officer at Heathrow Airport in Britain.

Campbell was pulled off a British Airlines flight to L.A. this morning after reportedly causing a huge stink when she says one of her — count ‘em — three carry-on bags was missing. The Sun says after she was yanked off the plane, cops had to be called because the supermodel flew into a rage when she was told she was unfit to fly. The anger management class superstar was hauled away “ranting and raving” from BA’s first class lounge after allegedly assaulting an officer. Where’s an assistant when you need one?!

Witnesses say they heard the model scream “get off me, leave me alone” as she was taken to the Heathrow police station. Hide your Blackberries! (Source)

They need to lock this trick up for good. Give her a life sentence. I’m sick of these broads getting away with this shit. Give her the Foxy Brown treatment.

They should put her and Remy Ma in the same cell. Imagine, Naomi boppin’ Reminisce over the head with a Dixie cup phone for taking her toilet paper and Remy shanking her ass for stealing her cigarettes.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]



You Know You Missed Her

28 03 2008

With Rih-bot showing her ass in some dominatrix pants every two seconds, I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to see the O.G. Queen of Overexposure again. I think it’s been an entire week since I posted something about her. Damn!

Well, with a new song out, I think it’s safe to say MTV, BET, magazines, Geico commercials, state fairs, etc. are no longer safe because Beyoncé never met a piece of promo she couldn’t work. Here she is in Italian mag Jack looking airbrushed beyond belief. These pictures are so airbrushed they look like they were taken right when Destiny’s Child came out (compare to the debut album cover).

(Image Source)

Posted by J

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Popularity: 32% [?]



Methalicious

12 03 2008

Boy, for someone who hates being known for being a former meth head so much, Fergie sure talks about it a lot.

“I had about 20 different conspiracy theories. I painted the windows in my apartment black so ‘they’ couldn’t see in,” the star admitted. She also explained how she believed everyone was against her, even a potential good Samaritan. “One day, when I was about 90 pounds, a guy comes up to me… I’m searching in the bushes for clues about whatever they’re after me for. I’m in a cowboy hat and red lips. He hands me a muffin. I’m thinking, he’s in on it.” (Source)

Is she sure she isn’t confusing her life with the plotline to Pulse?

I think if I had my choice between being a crackhead and a meth head I would definitely go with crack because I don’t think they would turn down a muffin if they were offered it. I’d eat that bitch up and then go walking down the street looking for the free crack giveaway while Fergie’s in your planter box playing Sherlock Holmes.

P.S. Extra brownie points to anyone who can name the movie my new category tag is from.

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]



Mathew Knowles Doesn’t Want To Talk To A Bey Bey Bout Ree-Ree.

15 02 2008

 

Mathew Knowles, Beyonce’s dad & manager (Praise Beyaweh! May Her Mane Reign Surpreme Forever!) called out Fatback Taffy Auntie Ree-Ree! Ooooh! It’s about to be a….girlfight!

Mathew Knowles is a little upset over Aretha Franklin taking offense to his daughter Beyonce using the word “queen” during her Grammy performance with Tina Turner.

In a statement released Wednesday, Papa Knowles said he will not allow Beyonce to even comment about the uproar.

“As a manager I am not taking something this ridiculous to Beyonce,” Knowles stated. “Beyonce referred to Tina Turner as a ‘queen.’ Not queen of gospel, queen of soul, queen of blues, Queen of England. I consider my wife a queen and sometimes call her that. Does Aretha have a problem with that?”

In his statement, Mathew Knowles said: “Something this ridiculous – it’s childish, it’s unprofessional. And it’s a sad day when egos get bruised because somebody used the word king, queen, prince or princess.” (Source)

You better give Queen Tina her props, she looks like she doesn’t take kindly to pesants not giving her her respect. I have a feeling one day Mathew got crunk about doing the dishes and she hexed his forehead hair to be grey. That taught him HIS lesson!

I feel what he is saying, though, I mean it IS Aretha Franklin. It ain’t like Ciara released a statement about certain performers wearing not conflict-free Yaki and who used to be in girl groups. It’s ARETHA calling you out — she should know about that.

What if Creole Lady Marmalade Beyonce’ is rolling through her favorite Popeye’s and Aretha rolls through and there is an akward moment? Trust me, after this, it won’t be about who gets the last breast(s).

I mean we don’t see (Queen) Kang Latifah getting mad! Or the Dairy Queen. She ain’t released a statement either. Just stop.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 51% [?]



Remember When R. Kelly’s Publicist Quit? Turns Out It Was About Her Daughter

15 02 2008

 

A while back, R. Kelly’s longtime publicist quit. Most speculated it had something to do with her daughter, and turns out, most were right. The publicist’s husband was on L.A. radio semi-blasting R. Kelly once again. Though this time, it was more about boundaries being crossed than you know, pee and children.

Chicago-based music retailer and industry veteran George Daniels has confirmed rumors that he and his wife, Regina Daniels, have severed all ties with 41-year-old entertainer R. Kelly because of a sexual relationship the singer had with their daughter, Maxine.

Regina Daniels, the singer’s longtime publicist, released a statement in November announcing she had quit her post with the R&B crooner, explaining only that a line had been crossed. Now, music retailer George Daniels is speaking out about the situation, confirming rumors about what led to the bad blood. 

“He crossed the line with my daughter,” Daniels said during an interview with Los Angeles radio station KJLH. “It didn’t get to the extreme of that [sex tape] video or else I wouldn’t be here, if you know what I’m talking about.”

Maxine, who was 21 when the relationship occurred, is still in college at Northern Illinois University and “doing very well,” Daniels tells KJLH’s morning show host Guy Black.  Though his daughter was of legal age, he says Kelly still took advantage of her.

“When you’re 21, and if you’ve been there already like I’ve been many years ago, you’re still 15 to 16 mentally. You’re vulnerable,” Daniels explained.

Daniels said he and his wife would hear rumors about her daughter and Kelly having relations, and it took a while for his daughter to come clean and admit it. When she finally did, Daniels said he immediately confronted Kelly.

“He denied it. He lied to me to my face,” Daniels said.

“The reason that I’m talking abut this, it’s not just for me, it’s not for my wife, it’s not for my daughter, but it’s for the public, “Daniels added. “It’s for other fathers and mothers because it doesn’t have to be a superstar, it could be the dude on the corner. There are guys who sit around and give your child a couple of bucks to go to school and then wait until they get a little older, then they set that trap. See, so I’m doing this really for everyone.” (Source)

So basically, R. Kelly paid for her schooling…and then tried to cash in. Ergo, he had been planning and plotting on that booty BEFORE she turned 21/18? Dirty old man! That is straight bitchassedness at its best!

And he’s not locked up yet…why? I mean, I hate to beat a dead horse (and this horse has been made into glue and lacefronts long, long ago), but we got to get this man either some help and or locked up. He makes me really ill.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 51% [?]



Does His New Assistant Get To Fluff The New Models?

31 01 2008


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Cassie doesn’t get the runway work? Cheri Dennis + and her pleather trenchcoat are not available?

Now Diddy/Sean John/Pee Sh!tty is looking for models for his Fall ‘08 Fashion Show in NYC.

At the end he says, “if you look like a king….if you look like a queen…”

Just for you folks out there, he didn’t mean Kang Latifah or you queens who were just J-setting to “Last Night”, so we’re clear!

However, I respect Diddy for wanting to diversify his fashion endeavors. He sure does talk with his hands, I just noticed that.
If you’re REALLY interested, “be resourceful!” like Diddy said, and go stalk him at Junior’s send in your model card!

A Hot Mess stand up! Do we have any models LOL? Go try out and give us the scoop.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 35% [?]



Judge To Foxy: I Don’t Hear You!

29 01 2008

Wonky Brown’s request to be let out of prison early so she can undergo surgery for her hearing has been denied. You don’t hear me, though!

On January 17, Brown’s attorney Laura Dilimetin asked acting state Supreme Court Justice Melissa Jackson to amend the rapper’s sentence, so she could visit Los Angeles’ House Clinic tomorrow (January 30), where she received her initial treatment for her hearing loss.

On Thursday (January 24), State Supreme Court Judge Melissa Jackson ruled against the Brown’s petition.

Prosecutors argued that the 29-year-old rapper can receive the treatment that she needs in New York and labeled the request a “desperate and frivolous petition.”

In a four-page letter to Judge Jackson, Brown claimed that she was terrified in prison because she cannot hear properly.

“I am terrified of not hearing a fire alarm go off, or being locked in a cell, and someone not being kind enough to let me out, since not everyone understands the severity of my condition,” wrote Marchand. (Source)

I bet she can hear fine when they announce it’s time for food. And I don’t doubt someone would leave her in there during a fire, but not because they don’t know about her “condition”.

Apparently her hearing aid got messed up during an altercation with another inmate, who punched her in the ear. Now that’s gangsta! That’s what her ass gets for trying to talk bold all the time! When Lil’ Kim was in prison she knew her role and made nice with all the inmates. I’m sure she made a visit to some “boxes”, too, but that’s a discussion for another time.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



Beyasha To Play Another Singing Role

29 01 2008

Beyoncé will be taking on another iconic role in her next big film, portraying legendary songstress Etta James in Cadillac Records.

According to Blackvoices.com, Beyoncé will join Cedric the Entertainer, Jeffrey Wright, Columbus Short, Tammy Blanchard, Emmanuelle Chriqui and Oscar winner Adrien Brody in the period piece, set in 1950’s Chicago. Cadillac Records explores the rise and fall of Chess Records, the label responsible for kicking off the careers of Chuck Berry, Etta James and Muddy Waters. (Source)

We can sit here and talk all day about whether or not Beyurrncé is the right choice to be playing a legend, does she look enough like her, is she gong to be talking in that awful drawl during the movie, etc. etc. What I really want to say, though, is that I need her to find some more diverse roles. Can’t she play a crackhead like Halle did in Losing Isaiah? A single mom living in a trailer home? Something “EDGY”. You know, bring out the Sasha on her acting side. But I digress.

I wanna know who/how/when Columbus Short and Emmanuelle Chriqui are fucking to keep getting roles.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



Diddy Won’t Have ME Running The City!

25 01 2008


Work For P. Diddy

Diddly Doo-Wop Combs has milked this “I need an assistant” schtick for WAY too long. What happened to the last chick that got the job!? I mean, seriously, put up a cotdang ad on craigslist like everyone else dummy! Negroes with access to television cameras is a bad thing. I need these writers to get off strike IMMEDIATELY!

VH1 is producing a new reality television show that will track 20 finalists as they compete to land the job of a lifetime: Personal Assistant to Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. We are conducting a nationwide search to find the right candidates. Whether you call him P. Diddy, Puffy, or Sean Combs, now is your chance to call this legend of hip-hop…”My Boss.” (Taken from the above website)

My boss? No, I run my OWN business, not work for another one. I’m done with those days. They are having auditions nationwide or you can send in a video.

I’m sorry — there is no way on this planet I would stoop that low. No wonder his company is in the shape that it’s in…he’s too busy doing ish like this. There was a time I used to admire Diddy…but that time is long gone. I’m just disappointed now.

Oh well, maybe Jessie James and D’Lila Star will get a reality show for when they first get potty trained. Or maybe all his OTHER kids will join together and create a show on BET called “Child Support Court.” They can get Shaq’s “extra” child and scour the NBA for more illegitimate children who need to come up!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 30% [?]



Don’t Think This Will Make Us Care About You

24 01 2008

Sigh.

Diddy is changing his name again.

The new title Combs is considering ties in with the brand name of his signature aftershave, and says the name reflects where he’s at in his career. “I have always evolved and taken a different name each time.

“Right now I want to be Sean John because that’s where I am right now”. (Source)

This is some Grade A Fuckery, fresh from the Foolywang Farm. Expiration date: About seven years ago, the last time someone cared about Puff the Magic Dragon or any of his stupid ass names. He can call himself “Rubber Chickensuit” for all I care, I’m not buying another one of his records.

Posted by J

Popularity: 35% [?]



Weezy Thinks He’s Frank Lucas

23 01 2008

Lil’ Wayne’s stupid ass has been arrested YET AGAIN in YET ANOTHER STATE on YET ANOTHER DRUG CHARGE. This time the police caught him at border patrol with a gang of drugs which could land him in some serious trouble.

Wayne, real name Dwayne Carter, was arrested with two others who have been charged with possession of marijuana. Cops say they found 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine and 41 grams of ecstasy pills on his tour bus — after they stopped at a Border Patrol checkpoint.

Police also found $22,000 in cash and a 40-caliber pistol, but Wayne, we’re told, does have a permit to carry a concealed weapon in the state of Florida. They tell us they’re checking to see if that carries over to Arizona. (Source)

Where was he going, a rave in the Arizona desert? This is getting to be a bit much. I know he doesn’t need that much for himself and he sure doesn’t need to slang since people are lining up to get his features and he would do a duet with Gary from Spongebob if it meant he’d get paid.

Posted by J

Popularity: 24% [?]



Shirley Caesar Is The ‘Black Patti LaBelle’, And Sherri Is The Black Jessica Simpson

15 01 2008

Sherri Shepherd is at it again, opening her mouth and saying dumb things for the whole world to see and ridicule on “The View”.

‘VIEW” co-host Sherri Shepherd went flat-earth again yesterday. Seems she forgot that legendary soul singer Patti LaBelle is black.

During yesterday’s talk-around - the first few minutes of “The View” where the show’s co-hosts chat about the news of the day - Shepherd mentioned that over the weekend she had attended the Stellar Awards, an awards show for gospel singers. At the show, she met Shirley Caesar, another legendary singer, often referred to as the First Lady of Gospel Music.

“There is a picture of me with Shirley Caesar, who is like the black Patti LaBelle,” bragged Shepherd.

There was a second of stunned silence before her co-hosts, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar and even Barbara Walters piled on.

“Patti LaBelle is black!” said Golberg.

“But this one is blacker,” joked Behar.

“It’s a good thing you’re not running for office,” said Walters. “Because you’d be considered bigoted right now.”

“I’d be in so much trouble,” squeaked an embarrassed Shepherd.

Shepherd, who replaced Star Jones this year, has been dropping increasingly strange comments since she began appearing on the show in September.

In one instance, she insisted Christianity was older than ancient Greece, and even Judaism. Earlier, she said she didn’t know if the world was flat or round. (Source)

I can’t decide if Sherri really is this stupid or if she’s playing it up for the cameras. I can see Barbara Walters’ shifty ass dreaming up this “TV personality” for her and her going along with it because let’s face it, the checks from Beauty Shop are only going to come in for so long. LOL @ Barbara. I know she’s not the one to talk about race! Didn’t she call Mo’Nique’s children “creatures”? A mess.

Posted by J

Popularity: 21% [?]