Quote of the Day: Flavor Flaaaaaaaav

16 04 2008

“I ain’t no joke,” Flavor Flav, star of the new MyNetworkTV sitcom “Under One Roof,” told the Daily News. “I’m getting ready to be the next Morgan Freeman. Denzel Washington, I’m coming!”

[SOURCE]

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*Candidate for Hot Mess of The Year: Dumb Robber

10 04 2008

This negro is stoopid (with the two 0’s). I can’t even formulate words. He is definitely a candidate for Hot Mess of the Year.
Oh God. I’m just *dead* at the whole thing. Seriously…I’m speechless on this one.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 49% [?]



Terry Howard Does Giant

31 03 2008

[Image Source]

When I first saw this I was like “Why is dude from ‘The Game’ on the cover of Giant?” I don’t know who should be more embarassed — Terry for the amount of airbrushing/”shadow” effect (shout outs to Mary J.’s 411 cover) on this or me for knowing who’s on “The Game”.

So he needs the love of a good, clean woman. I think I know who’s ready to step up and fulfill that role. Ladies, it’s probably not too late to get in your bearding resumes, though, so get that money if you need it, I ain’t mad.

I realize I’m nitpicking little details today, but how can Lyfe Jennings be the most underrated superstar of anything? Wouldn’t being underrated make you NOT a superstar? They need me to copy-edit that mug.

Posted by J

Popularity: 16% [?]



It’s Friday, and ah…this is how we gon start it off…

28 03 2008



(shoutout to gemini0673)

Wow! I woke up this morning, checked my email, got a link to this, watched it, looked up to Sweet Minty Himself as He wept, then went back to sleep. MAN! no…seriously. MAN? or WOMAN? This is grade A, certified hot mess. Half flamingo/Half Tranny? And what’s with the extra smedium double breasted suit jacket? Church socks with pumps? (Jesus…take the wheel) I would comment on the crew behind him/her, but this post might turn into a novel. Enough of this sugary baffonery! That ceiling fan was just there for decoration, because ain’t no way that it was gonna cool down that hot mess.

Posted by Justin Time™

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UPDATED: Trace Magazine (inside)

25 03 2008


(thanks MissOhMyGoodness for the pic)

Hold up…is he rockin a gumby? (Don’t act like y’all don’t know. You either had the regular hi-top fade, the steps, or the gumby.). I can’t say too much about Erykah. I’ma let y’all fill in the blank.

Aight…CLICK HERE to see the INSIDE pics of the magazine. (it’s a PDF file)

Posted by Justin Time™

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Mo’Nique Goes Guadalajara!

19 03 2008

Mo’Nique attended the launch of ‘Healing Starts With Us’ Campaign at The Malcolm X & Dr. Betty Shabazz Memorial & Educational Center in New York yesterday, but she clearly made a stop south of the border first to get this pancho-like get-up. All that’s missing are the bright colors and a plastic baggie (WITHOUT the zipper) full of chicle. Ugly Betty is jealous!

I keep trying to tell myself it’s not that bad but I keep giving this one the side-eye. What do you guys think?

Posted by J

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Video: The Roots (feat. Patrick Stump) - “Birthday Girl”

13 03 2008

The internet is a-blaze with backpacker fury over this one! The Roots‘ video for their first single “Birthday Girl” — featuring Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump — leaked yesterday, and it’s notable for looking a lot like some shit a 16 year-old girl would make.

I will be the first to admit — DO NOT GET. Not necessarily DO NOT WANT, because it does intrigue me, pero no lo comprendo. It’s some girl… turning 17 or something… and she’s a lesbian? And the mom is getting hit on by the butch one? I mean, I get the whole attempt to look like a fan video but the plot points are what’s baffling me here.

Roots fans are like, the most pretentious pieces of shit in the world so you know they were shitting themselves not only when this video came out but when the song leaked. I think ?uestlove and the rest of them know exactly what they’re doing. It’s a ploy for attention and it’s working.

Posted by J

Popularity: 40% [?]



Bust Out Your Soulja Boy Approved Fruity Loops Tracks!

21 02 2008


I HAD to use this picture again ROFL. I love it. It brings me joy.

Oh, I’m bout to TURN THIS MUTHA OUT.

I just wrote this song called “Jam That (I Seen A Leprechaun Say Yeah!)” and it would be perfectly for the Chocolate Crackbaby Troll Flava Flav.

VH1 has launched an online music competition that seeks beats for a new single from Flavor Flav. Through “VH1’s The Track with Flavor Flav,” music producers can upload their original audio tracks for consideration. One producer will be given the chance to record and co-produce Flav’s next single later this spring. To enter, submit original audio beats (no vocals) at www.FlavorOfLoveWorld.com through Thursday, March 13. Three finalists will be chosen by Flav. Fans will then vote online to determine the winner, which will be announced on April 1. (Source)

I’mma sample this video below, mix it up with some Lil’ Jon sine waves, add some Danjahandz drums, some B. Michael-Cox piano chords & strangs, ask Alicia Keys to play them chords for me, get T-Pain to add some vocoding, and then top it off with some Timbaland vintage baby cries (because babies cry when Flav comes around, real talk), record it with my Voice Memo on my cell phone, and send it to him via Yousendit LOL.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

TELL me that isht won’t blow up! Someone page Tayzonday and tell him we need some his breathing on this track — I’mma make him a star-ruh!

*rolls eyes* I wish someone would send a virus to VH1 and shut them down. Seriously. Have New York run around that joint with her two week old cotton panties, I bet she’ll clear that joint OUT. I am SO tired of all these shows. Now Perez Hilton has a show! I’m so dead. Do they really really think anyone wants to hear a new Flava Flav song? If they do, I got a bag of cheeseburgers & a planet to sell them called Mars for cheap!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 46% [?]



In The Name of Samwell, I REBUKE THEE! New Gnarls Promo Pics

13 02 2008

Wow, ummm………………………….

……………………..*blank stare*

Peep these new Gnarls Barkley promo pics for their upcoming album. Now, OK, I know Gnarls Barkley are supposed to be all eclectic and zen and WHATEVER, but whomever’s idea it was to put Cee-Lo in a wedding dress Dennis Rodman-style needs to be immediately taken out back and flogged. DO NOT WANT.

And it’s not that Cee-Lo is ZESTY per say, but this is exhibiting zestay-like TENDENCIES. I’m just saying.

Danger Mouse is Kevin Michael in 10 years ROFL. Cee-Lo WOULD be the one wearing the dress though! WHY LO!? WHY!? “Closet Freak” indeed.

I have no words. I am truly speechless. I’m sure this “represents” seem deep explanation of how they are married to their music, blah blah blah, but just…no.

Again, I ask: What Would Marvin Gaye do!?

*dies and cranks dat with Ike Turner*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 42% [?]



Mess of the Moment: ‘Tasia Mae Is Channeling Pepe LePew

7 02 2008

From classy…

TO ASHY.

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I Vote For “Chubb Rock”!

6 02 2008


This picture gives me a HEADACHE

Missy is being lazy and won’t put down those bags of complimentary Doritos to name her album, or at least that’s what I think!

Five-time Grammy Award winner Missy Elliott is giving fans the opportunity to name her new album, due out on Goldmind/Atlantic late Spring 2008. Fans can enter immediately via Missy’s website, www.missy-elliott.com. The contest closes on February 20th and the winner will be announced on March 2nd.  The winner will receive credit on Missy’s new album and a $500 “Respect Me” adidas gift card.

Quick ya’ll! You know somewhere Tweet has stopped writing new songs for her album is furiously chewing on the end of a pencil trying to beat us to the punch! LOL, she trying to get new wardrobe for her next cover shoot.

So, I came up with a couple of ideas — you can vote below. Or, you can leave your own ideas in the comments, either way.

What should Missy name her new album?

View Results

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I just got one question — is the $500 for her addidas line or is it for WHATEVER you want from addidas? That would determine a lot LOL. Since I think her line is for women only, I guess that wouldn’t make much sense. I’d rather have some free Doritos. I HATE addidas.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]



MTB4 Group Finally Has A Name

28 01 2008

I hear their name is officially the “826 Boys,” signifying the day the group was put together. I mean, I said their new single sounded like a 112 song, but I didn’t think they’d take it that far LOL. Someone please page Master P., Romeo & ‘nem for a guest appearance!!

I quit. Diddy Diddily Damn is officially voted off the island! When is the next race draft coming up? I think we should trade him in for Robin Thicke or Rico Suave or someone!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 23% [?]



Tom Cruise Scares Me.

16 01 2008


I heard about this video in ONTD, and then found it on Dailymotion. *right click, save!*

Will Smith, you got some esplainin’ to do.

It PONDERS ME how Tom Cruise just has flipped his lid. He used to be such a like, All-American Guy. Now him & Brad Pitt just done lost it — Tom Cruise is an alien and Brad Pitt done shacked up and got locked into 18 years (What Would Kanye Say?!). I don’t get it.

There are so many quotables from this Scientology video — hurry up and watch it before Xenu comes off his Southwest Airlines Flight #666 and beams it back up into the no-class section (cause you know Southwest has no first class).

I’m all for choice of religion or whatever, but this Scientology business scares me. They’ve tried to recruit me at the Celebrity Centre once or twice, but I tell them I believe in Christmas and anti-depressants and that Sweet Minty Jesus used to be wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger and they leave me alone. True story — I said Sweet Minty Jesus!

Sweet Minty Jesus > Xenu. PEEP GAME TOM.

Let me find out Will done recruited Jaden and Willow. I’m calling Child Protective Services LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]



Why is Rev. Still Getting Record Deals?!

11 01 2008

 

I mean REALLY. I’m all for respecting our elders and giving props where it is due…but come on. I LOVE “Run’s House,” I watch it religiously (<—LOL!), but this is getting out of hand. No one is checking for a new Rev. Run record. No one is checking for a “Team Blackout” record either by his son & his weed carriers.

I honestly don’t think I’d even waste the hard drive space on downloading this. Not trying to put my mouth on “Da Mand Of Gawt” though *cough*. I’ll just watch/listen to the 30 second opening theme to “Run’s House” & looking at Vanessa. That’ll do me just fine.

Run-D.M.C.’s Rev. Run has signed a worldwide recording deal with U.K. independent label Craze Productions. His new album is being recorded in New York and is due in the first quarter; it features a guest spot by Kid Rock, with whom Run will tour this spring.

Simmons will also tape the fifth season of his MTV show “Run’s House” later this year.

Craze Productions has an extensive digital catalog of hip-hop tracks and has previously focused on Web and mobile downloads as well as ringtones. The new signing marks a move into physical releases for the London-based label, which will Run’s album in stores worldwide. (source)

Let me go get my Mr. Microphone out the closet and break out my Fruity Loops. I’m bout to blowuptuate like So Over Boy with my new hit song “Do Ya Smell Me? (Who Pooted?!)”. It’ll be on iTunes and Myspace in 25 minutes.

Oh and I was watching the show last night and noticed that Russell Simmons had a lisp! SAY WHAT!? Can I get him on 16 bars and J. Holiday on the hook? LOL. “Lisps ov da world UNITE!”

^^ Was that too much?

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 29% [?]



Video: Janet Jackson - “Feedback”

8 01 2008


OK, first off, let me say that first listen, this song didn’t move me. 2nd listen, I started dancing. 3rd listen, I made it a ringtone. 4th listen, it went on a mixtape for the hooride. I’ve been wearing it out since. So as you could imagine, I had high hopes for this video.

Well, my hopes just bungie jumped off the Eiffel Tower with no cord because what in the name of Samuel Jackson is going on in this video!?

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