*Candidate for Hot Mess of The Year: Dumb Robber

10 04 2008

This negro is stoopid (with the two 0’s). I can’t even formulate words. He is definitely a candidate for Hot Mess of the Year.
Oh God. I’m just *dead* at the whole thing. Seriously…I’m speechless on this one.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 47% [?]

Quote of the Day: Snoop on Politics (*SMH*)

4 04 2008

(props to Baltimore Vixen)

You know…by the looks of that picture (and him in general), maybe he was hungry. You know…when you’re hungry, sometimes you get delusional. In a delusional state, you may say things that doesn’t register with others. Here’s an example:

He (Snoop) says, “The KKK gave Obama money. They was one of his biggest supporters… Why wouldn’t they be? The media won’t tell you that. They don’t want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nigger befriended this other nigger who be threatening your values. But we all know all presidents lie to get into fucking office. That’s they job. In America’s eyes, that muthafucker’s gonna be president ‘cos (John) McCain can’t fck with him. Hillary (Clinton) can’t fuck with him. He’s winning over white people, white ladies.”

More on the Story

So…is this an insult, or a shoutout? “The KKK gave Obama money?” What? That’s like saying:

“The elementary schools supplied Michael Jackson with little boys. See, they don’t tell you that. They don’t want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nicca climbed trees and slept with little boys. But we all know the school system lie to get into the media. That’s they job. In America’s eyes, he’s gonna be straight, cus the Law can f*ck with him. He’s winning over the youth with Jesus Juice.”

Now how ig’nant is that? Snoop, finish your meal homie.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 27% [?]

Please Mr. Postman

1 04 2008
Side note: I spent a good ten minutes looking for a decent picture of this broad and was so annoyed I wasted my time that I decided to use this one of her looking like a damn Oompa Loompa instead.

Remy Ma wants her fans to write letters to her judge in an attempt to get her sentence reduced after receiving four guilty verdicts last week. Get out your Washables and construction paper!

According to New York’s Daily News, over the weekend the Grammy nominated rapper’s MySpace page posted a message of endorsement aimed directly at her core fan base, pleading for admirers to send nice letters about her in hopes of receiving a reduced sentence.

Please write letters about how Remy and her music has positively affected you, influenced you, inspired you, etc… in hopes that the judge will be lenient in Remy’s upcoming sentencing,” the note read.

On Thursday March 27, a Manhattan jury convicted Remy (born Reminisce Smith) of first-degree assault and weapons charges for shooting her former friend in the abdomen last July in a beef over the rapper missing $3,000.

The MySpace message concluded “Thank you for all your support.” Letters are asked to be sent to lettersforremy@gmail.com.

Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Rena Uviller is set to hand the embattled rapper a sentence on April 23. Uviller denied Remy’s attorney, Ivan Fisher’s request for Remy to spend the remaining days, until the sentencing, at home with her son. (Source)

I’m sure all 16 of her fans are writing furiously as we speak, but if I were the judge I’d throw her ass under the jail for just coming out looking the way she does. I mean, this chick makes Foxy Brown look like a fashionista.

I can just picture it now, a bunch of high school dropouts writing the judge a letter ~*LyKe DiZ*~ talking about how Remy inspired them to walk around the metal detectors at P.S. 112 when they went to meet their pimp/dealer/girl who stole $3,000 (or $3.50) out of their purse in the bathroom.

Posted by J

Popularity: 19% [?]

Nickel Hearts Obama Now

31 03 2008

Nickel showing us what he should do. STOP! In the name of knowledge.

50 Cent now supports Barack Obama despite coming out in support of Hillary Clinton last fall.

Rapper 50 Cent, who told Time magazine last September he was supporting the New York senator’s White House bid, now says he has decided to shift his allegiance to Obama.

The multi-platinum star, born Curtis Jackson, told MTV News Friday that Obama’s recent speech on race was the deciding factor for his decision.

“I heard Obama speak,” he said. “He hit me with that he-just-got-done-watching-’Malcolm X,’ and I swear to God, I’m like, ‘Yo, Obama!’

I’m Obama to the end now, baby!

But the musician also admitted he’s lost interest in the protracted Democratic race, and may not support either candidate.

“To be honest, I haven’t been following that anymore. I lost my interest,” he said. “I listened to some of the debates and things that they were saying, and I just got lost in everything that was going on…Don’t look for my vote, for me to determine nothing on that. Just say, ‘50 Cent, he don’t know, so don’t ask Fiddy.’ (Source)

This is like asking a squirrel or a bag of candy what they think about politics. It’s possible one of them has an opinion on it, but the probability that their reasoning is going to make any kind of sense is pretty low.

Edit: By popular demand, the return of the “ho, sit down” mascot, in honor of Nickel’s latest foot-in-mouth outbreak. It’s like herpes, that shit don’t go away!

Posted by J

Popularity: 15% [?]

A Conspiracy?…..NEGRO PLEASE!

28 03 2008

ROFLMAO!!! First of all…let me introduce this man. Mayor (yes…Mayor) Abron Pitts of Widener, Arkansas. *Justin Time™ DOA* Let me post the story first (and highlight the hot mess):

(Widener, AR 3/2008) Widener Mayor Abron Pitts admits he likes to take a sip or two on weekends. “I drinks! You understand that. I don’t deny.”

Budweiser is his drink of choice, but the problem is a dangerous cocktail of drinking and driving got him charged Saturday night with DWI and drinking in public. “I’m not going to deny I hadn’t had one beer or two because it’s the weekend. I wasn’t under the influence.

Arkansas State Police say the 62-year-old mayor was swerving on the AR Highway 38 bridge. It’s about 200-feet from his home. Mayor Pitts says the arrest is nothing more than a group of Widener residents conspiring against him.

“To me, it was a set up deal.”

Widener resident Oteria Franklin believes there is a plot against the mayor.

“I believe they want to get him out. He’s the first black mayor. Maybe they’re player hating.

“He needs to set a better example for the people of Widener,” explained resident Jaime Campbell.

In addition to DWI charges, Pitts was also cited for driving without proof of insurance. He says the trooper didn’t ask for a card or license until he was at the jail. When we asked he shoed us insurance documents with his name and his sisters. But they were for another car.

When asked about allegations of Mayor Pitts being set up, a spokesman for the Arkansas State Police said we’ll present our evidence in court May 1st. [SOURCE]

*flatline* How in the Shemar Moore dried cornrolled wig did he become mayor? First of all, ya’ll MUST go to the source page, because they have the actual video of this on the news. I couldn’t embed it here, but y’all gotta check it out. It’s like 2 minutes into the clip. Now…let me get this straight…He drinks, gets drunk, drives walking distance, and have no insurance, but yet he says it’s a conspiracy?

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 29% [?]

Hip-hop…Here’s My 2 Week Notice (Reason 2 of 3)

23 03 2008

Reason 2:

Wow. Just wow! The level of bafoonery is just too massive. Here we are, on the brink of possibly having a black president, and Plies (*SMH at his name*) and these women are setting us back 200 years. It’s quite lengthy, so if you have atleast 7 minutes to spare in your life, by all means, take a look. WARNING: I will NOT refund those 7 minutes. I’m sure Martin Luther King Jr. is turning over (rotisserie style) in his grave. Plies…no…stratch that…Algernod Lanier Washington is not even that popular or fly enough for anybody to devote their time, rent money, travel expenses, etc. to even enter a competition for him. (for now on…I will only address rappers by their real names). Man…why did I go to college? A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Well, here’s my answer to this bafoonery: (credit to Rob for this joint…lol)


Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 21% [?]

‘American Idol’ > Basic Geography

21 03 2008

Here’s some footage of Sherri Shepherd bitching about how the American Idols didn’t have enough knowledge of The Beatles and their contribution to music during this week’s shows.

In case you didn’t know, Sherri has the distinction of being the only person who isn’t 4 that thinks the world may or may not be flat. I’ll let the irony speak for itself.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]

Tocarra Gets Brolic On ‘Celebrity Fit Club’

20 03 2008

I’m late on this, but I had no idea she was really wilding out like this. She looks/sounds demented! I was laughing at that white lady judge. The drill instructor was scared Tocarra was gonna put feet on her!

Posted by J

Popularity: 38% [?]

DMX: “What The F*** Is A Barack?!”

17 03 2008

In the midst of an interview with XXL Magazine, DMX revealed he had no idea who — or what — Barack Obama is.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.

What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack. (Source)

If it ain’t about dogs or crack, you can venture a guess that DMX doesn’t know what’s going on in any given topic.

I know Earl better sit down acting like his name is so sexy.

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]

Laugh of the Day: Lil’ Jon Presents the P***y Patch

14 03 2008

Lil’ Jon helps out disgraced politician Eliot Spitzer with his “p***y addiction” in this Funny Garbage cartoon. I laughed my ass off when the dog started talking. What can I say, it’s early.

Posted by J

Popularity: 43% [?]

Your Weekly Dose Of Ignorance: “Dat Baby Don’t Look Like Me”

14 03 2008

This is ign’ance taken to a whole ‘nother stratosphere.

The clips of “Maury” in the beginning probably cost more to license than the Playskool microphone and Casio drumset this shit was recorded on. SMDH.

Posted by J

Popularity: 39% [?]

WTF Moment of the Day: “We Are The World” Turning Japanese

11 03 2008

Japanese game/talk shows are on some other shit.

For real. Have you ever tried watching one? I feel like I’m on an acid trip sober so I don’t even wanna know what this is like high.

In this clip, several impersonators sing “We Are The World” while dressed up like American singers Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Diana Ross and more. I’m mad because I thought Cyndi Lauper was the real deal at first! That woman nailed it! The other ones range from terrible to pretty good. The “Engrish” is terrible though and at one point when they tried to say “save lives” it came out “save wives”. A mess!

Thanks Danielle.

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]

Are These Hos Serious?

5 03 2008

A reader of ours who prefers to remain anonymous (and I don’t blame you) sent us this little tidbit about Trina and Khia taking their beef from the streets to the ‘net. Now these broads didn’t get on YouTube or even MySpace but instead Bebo. HERRH!? I literally did not know this shit existed until I got this e-mail. This is some D-list social networking shit that is oh-too-fitting for these two.

I couldn’t really decipher much out of these blogs (Trina’s here and Khia’s here)because trying to read them took my IQ down about 15 points but the general idea is that they still don’t like each other. And none of us really care, still.

I leave you with this quote from Trina’s “Bebo” page about why she’s using “Bebo”:


This is funny because if you replace the word “Bebo” with “Trina’s new song” and “Myspace page” with “A Hot Mess! e-mail”, she and I are on the exact same page.

Posted by J

Popularity: 53% [?]

Crunk Grapes

29 02 2008

Get ready to line up around the block at 7-11 for this one! Lil’ Jon is putting out his own brand of wine.

The wine, called Little Jonathan Winery, reportedly includes a merlot, chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon. The wine is already being distributed in California and will hit shelves within the next two months. (Source)

LITTLE JONATHAN?! That sounds like the name of a doll or something. Don’t you get Chucky vibes?

As for this wine, I’ve never had a taste for cat piss mixed with red Kool-Aid and a hint of Bushmills, so I probably won’t be a fan of this.

Posted by J

Popularity: 48% [?]

Your Weekly Dose Of Ignorance: Woman Admits Cheating On Husband For Money

27 02 2008

The new game show “Moment of Truth” on FOX pits contestants against a string of increasingly uncomfortable questions that they must answer truthfully in order to win money. If they answer one untruthfully, they lose all the money they’ve earned from answering other devastating questions candidly.

Watch this chick admit to punking her husband out in a plethora of ways, and then losing at the last minute on a stupid question. This is what you get for being greedy and thinking anything is worth a little bit of scratch. This show is a fiery mess.

Props to jaycurtis for the heads up.

Posted by J

Popularity: 62% [?]