You Gon’ Break Something… It’s Probably Vital, Too

9 03 2008

I saw this over at Noticias Chismes and almost fell out. Janet Jackson tried — and I really do mean tried, this chick tried her damnedest — to teach Larry King’s prehistoric ass a simple dance move. You know what, Larry tried pretty hard, too. For someone who was around when dirt was invented, it’s probably hard to sit still without quivering much less stand on two feet and do some “Feed-BAAAH, Feed-BAAAH!”

I actually got scared when she was telling him to smack his chest and he was doing it kind of hard. Careful there are you might send that ticker into arrest.

At least this puts to bed my theory that they’ve had a hologram up there since the mid ’90s. Larry will probably outlive me AND my little bastards children. It’s gonna be him, roaches, and twinkies after the Armageddon hits.

Posted by J

Popularity: 36% [?]

Janet & Fido Signing Copies Of ‘Discipline’; Best Buy, NYC

27 02 2008

Janet came out to the Best Buy in Times Square wearing a maltipoo on her head to sign copies of her new album Discipline. I’m still laughing at those skits she did for MTV so I’m going to let this slide.

This question is strictly for the non-stans, because I know y’all already got 17 copies on pre-order, but how are the rest of you feeling about buying this album? I will admit “Feedback” has grown on me but I’m not sure if it’s enough for me to take interest in a full album. How about everyone else?

Two more pics after the jump. (Image source)

Posted by J

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Laugh of the Day: Janet Spoofs MTV Shows

25 02 2008

I can’t remember the last time Janet Jackson did something I cared about, so this was a pretty big shock. I saw her on “SNL” a couple of years ago and she was funny but I guess I didn’t really see her as doing these kinds of skits. This is a lot better than the “artist of the week” spots of people standing around singing to a crowd of four people (who are probably producers) or something else like that.

I guess MTV had to let Janet get her fun in after they blacklisted her ass for a good three years. I fell out at her doing Brooke from “Real World”, that was the funniest.

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]

New Music: Janet Jackson, Usher, Bobby Valentino & Lyfe Jennings

21 02 2008

Janet Jackson - “So Much Betta”

So Discipline has leaked, and I’m not saying I heard it already or nothing *cough* but it’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. HOWEVER, after possibly flipping through it last night, I think this is my favorite song. The beat is nastayyyyyyy. It’s Janetron 2k8 and I think I kind of love it. The vocals kind of throw you off at first, but it sinks in that “Ok this is different, this is kinda hot” and it’s a wrap from there. Real talk. I’ll say so far that you have to listen to this album in context really to get the vibe of the record — even “Rock With U” feels “better” so to speak. You’ll hear it when/if you buy the record next week.

Way more music after the jump — no download links right now, I’ll have to get em up later, so check back.

Posted by The IPS

Usher - “Moving Mountains”

Usher - “I Can’t Win”

Usher sounds great; I’m glad he hasn’t lost his vocal chops screaming at Maneka. While I am waiting for some uptempo jams, I can already tell that this album is going to be a solid, cohesive album through and through. I’m calling it. This is clearly a slower joint, but this alongside “I Can’t Win” and even the leaked song “That Girl Right There” with Luda seem to fit together. Looks like Usher hasn’t lost his knack for putting an album together, and it ALSO sounds like he’s hopefully found a way to balance more mature material with some radio friendly filler. I guess that’s all we can ask for in this day and age. While these two songs aren’t going to get you up and dancing, you have to admit they are decent and he sounds great. I’m excited about new material!

Bobby Valentino - “No More Party”

Not sure if this is new or old but I’m not hating it, so that’s good. I wonder if Bobby’s working on a new album? I’m going to give it up to him because after Mario’s Go, this was probably the 2nd album from the younger R&B set that I listened to. He had some great songs on that joint, and even a cover or two that I liked. He really showed growth from his debut album to his sophomore joint, and I was pleasantly surprised. However, his material often veers toward the fluffy, throw-a-way, cliched spectrum and Bobby’s better than that, case in point. Tim & Bobb’s joints really need to come up, though. I mean REALLY. This song sounds leftover from the first album…

Lyfe Jennings - “Brand New” Feat. Lil’ Wayne & T.I.

I really don’t like Lyfe’s music. Sorry. I mean, I’m sure it moves someone, but his voice irks my nerves and eardrums. I just can’t take his gravelly “I’ve been gargling with stomach acid” tinged voice. A couple of his songs here and there I’ve semi-thought were OK…he has good material/lyrics for the most part, but I’d like them more if someone else was singing. I really liked “Hypothetically” with Fantasia because…hello…it’s Tasia LOL.

Somehow he’s snuck up and got another new album coming out, but I don’t think enough people really care about Lyfe to blow him up. He’s got a small base of dedicated fans I think. This song doesn’t really move me either, and I feel like he smashed up 4 songs to make this one song. I just thought there was too much going on in this song; from the background vocals, to the hook, to the little baby talk, etc. Is that the boy from Hurricane Chris’ song?! “A bay bay!” Prolly not, but I just laughed. Oh and T.I.’s verse sounds phoned in, figuratively AND literally LOL. I’ll pass on this joint.

Popularity: 47% [?]

Janet’s New Single Cover

7 02 2008

Janet Jackson’s return-to-form single “Feedback” isn’t getting the “feedback” they were expecting I’m sure, so it’s time to rush out the next single! Honestly, I like “Feedback” the SONG, but the video still befuddles me to no end.

This cover is CARAZAY LOL, but coo. I’m getting a Naomi Campbell/tortured soul vibe. How she go from Parade magazine to this though? Whew, Janet, let me find out you got another person in yo head like Erykah/Apples, Beyonce’/Sasha, Lauryn/???

Oh, is it Janet/Patty?!? Janet’s the freak with the “tittay peek” and Patty is the one that poses in the clear people’s magazine?

Between the lighting/effects/whatever of this cover and Missy’s 3-D boondoggle madness, these chicks are kicking my migraines into high gear.

What do we think ya’ll, hated it? DNW or Gimme More?

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]

Janet in Parade Magazine

6 02 2008

This “safe for old YT lady consumption” wig is NOT the bee’s knees! More like she swept the floor with it, threw it on her head, stooped and kissed JD, and ran out the house. Bleh!

Ya’ll know Parade, the old-school YT folk magazine that comes in the Sunday paper LOL. I guess they wanted “Perfect Patty” instead of “Miss Jackson (if ya nasty)” for this photo shoot. Janet is all covered up and homely. Yay! LOL. She looks great though, and healthy. I wonder where all that winter weight she was packing during the summer went!?

I feel like in the last 3 pictures she looks like she’s giving tips on how to dress for a job interview LOL!

More pics after the jump!

Posted by The IPS

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New Music From Around The Web

3 02 2008

Ya’ll know the drill — go listen to “new” music from around the web let us know what you think. Hot or not? Let your fellow AHM! posters know before we click it LOL.

Janet Jackson - “Feedback (Remix)” Feat. Ciara, “Rock With U,” and “Luv”

I guess Ciara was feeling left out of all the Pro-Tools goodness that is Janet’s album, so she decided to get in through the backdoor. I guess. “Luv” was produced by Rodney Jerkins as well, which I kind of like, but don’t love. “Rock With U” was produced by Jermaine Dupri, and I hated it.

Brandy - “Feel So Good”

I like it, I like it a lot. This is cearly nothing new though LOL. I’ve run out of things to say about Brandy though LOL. This sounds like an old Keith Crouch joint, but I hear it’s supposedly from the “Full Moon” days. All these leftover tracks leaking…I wonder if Atlantic is hating?

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Popularity: 20% [?]

New Music From Around The Web

22 01 2008

Usually I find all these joints, but by the time I get around to posting them, it’s 3 days later LOL. So I’ve collected some of the music that’s been sent to us, that other sites have posted and the like. Enjoy!

Posted by The IPS

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Janet’s “Discipline” Cover

15 01 2008


OK, I’m mad she stole Soulja Boy’s white-out pen to write them words. LOL. Despite the whole “living doll” thang she got going on in the eyes, this is pretty dope! Nothing else like it right now that I can think of, though I am sure one of ya’ll know exactly what this looks like LOL! Show them how it’s done Ms. Janet!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 19% [?]

Video: Janet Jackson - “Feedback”

8 01 2008

OK, first off, let me say that first listen, this song didn’t move me. 2nd listen, I started dancing. 3rd listen, I made it a ringtone. 4th listen, it went on a mixtape for the hooride. I’ve been wearing it out since. So as you could imagine, I had high hopes for this video.

Well, my hopes just bungie jumped off the Eiffel Tower with no cord because what in the name of Samuel Jackson is going on in this video!?

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Popularity: 21% [?]

Janet’s New Video Airs Tonight on Extra!

2 01 2008

Janet Jackson’s video for her new single “Feedback” will air exclusively tonight on Extra!. You know things are bad for MTV and BET when artists go to Tanika Ray instead of Rocsi.

Janet has recently said of her music:

“I love the dance. I love the mid tempo stuff. I love the slow songs and the baby making songs. It still has that element to it.”

Jackson admits her songs put listeners in the mood saying, “You don’t know how many people come up to me and say, ‘This child was conceived listening to you.’”

Also, Jackson says what she loves about her own music saying, “It makes me want to dance and that’s the nice thing. I love listening to music that makes me want to get up and move.” (Source)

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]

New Janet Pics & Interview

31 12 2007

Rawr! Janet reminds me of Eartha Kitt for some reason in that upper right-hand picture ROFL. That nose is tragic though. :(

Janet gives an interview to a magazine called Prestige Hong Kong. She talks about her new music, JD…the usual basically. Some interesting tidbits below:

There are conflicting reports of Jermaine being your boyfriend, your fiancé or your husband.
We’re not married. I call him my boyfriend. Jermaine calls me his wife, I’ve heard him say that as well . . . But not yet. I don’t know if that will ever happen. Maybe, I really don’t know. It’s because, at least for myself, this space that we’re in I think is so nice. I feel like maybe marriage is a jinx for me. I’ve done it twice; I’m not trying to be Elizabeth Taylor and do it eight times. Where we are is good and we’re happy and there’s no drama. And plus, I think there’s something about having a spiritual connection where you don’t have to have a certificate to validate the love. So it’s all good – if you make those vows to one another and you know that you have a connection, that’s all you need. I really do think [marriage] is just a way for the government to keep tabs on everybody, I truly do. Now people think you’ve got to grow up and get married and have a family, you don’t have to do that if you don’t want that. Just because everyone else does that doesn’t mean you have to.

Do the Jacksons still get together for family gatherings?
We didn’t this year and my nephew, bless his heart, said, “We’re not getting together this year and I’m really mad because it’s going to fall on my birthday so everyone was going to be there for my birthday!” Some of us don’t celebrate birthdays because we’re Jehovah’s Witnesses, but he was still going to pretend and be like, “This is a party for me!” (source)

A Jackson Family gathering!? Oh to be a fly stuck in Jermaine Jackson’s “juices and berries” slickback! Could you imagine?

Michael over in the corner with his 3 kids, playing Nintendo Wii with all his “neices and nephews.” Jermaine doing the “Soulja Boy” with 3T. Randy and Tito trying to get past security at the door. Rebbie not showing up cause she’s normal LOL. LaToya running from….everyone.

I saw Janet and Jermaine Jackson at the Why Did I Get Married? premiere here in Los Angeles, and he wanted a photo. He had to ask his sister and he brought the paparazzi over. They were so cold to each other until the cameras went up, and then they were all smiles. Then, after the cameras went down, they went right back to being cold and he walked away. Hilarious.

Happy New Year!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 32% [?]

Janet Jackson Promo Pic & Possible Cover?

21 12 2007

Click pictures for full-size versions

On the left is the official promo pic for “Discipline,” Janet’s new album release in Feb. 08. On the right is the “supposed” single cover for “Feedback” that is floating around the web. It’s kind of hot though! Obviously just a photoshopped version of the promo pic that was released to the public.

Me personally, I think the “supposed” cover is the work of a overzealous fan with too much time on their hands and not enough lotion to entertain themselves with. Remember, last album Janet had fans design multiple covers of her “20 Y.O.” album art. I see that yo-yo dieting does a body right LOL.

If it is official (which I doubt), is Janet trying to get her “Moonwalker”/”Smooth Criminal” on, turning into a robot and spaceships and thangs? LOL! I would die if she was. Michael Jackson put out all sorts of crazy movies and videos in the 80’s/90’s, and Janet could very easily follow in his footsteps. She could turn into a robot and save Jermaine Dupri from Ruff Ruff’s feminine clutches! Or Janetron vs. Beowulf in “When Divas Attack!”

Do I smell McDonald’s Happy Meal tie-ins?

Some of ya’ll probably too young to even know what “Captain E.O.” was or what “Moonwalker” even is LOL.

And ya’ll are crazy, “Feedback” is hot. “Crank it up give it to me come on, crank it up give it to me come on…feedback, feedback!” I stay bumping that, sorry! That joint is hot. Except for the period line, *throws up in mouth*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 24% [?]

Let’s Just Call A Spade a Spade, Janet!

4 12 2007

Now I loves me some Damita Jo (well old school), but come on, REALLY? Girl stop!

EVERY member of the Jackson family - Michael included - is trying to put together a 40-city world tour. Except, that is, for Janet Jackson. A music industry insider told Page Six, “Janet said she would be willing to participate in a few select shows next year, but [her fiancé] Jermaine Dupri is holding her out of it. He wants Janet to go back in the studio and record another album, and he’s also wary of having her be associated with Michael because he’s gotten such bad press and is just freaky.” (source)

Hoe sit down and shut up and just go get that money! Because I am sorry, I would shell out top $$ for that tour. I can only watch “Jackson 5: The American Dream” so many times before I want to see it in person. “Weeeeeee…..THANK YOUUUUUUU!” What ya’ll know about that!?

I mean, but Janet….Pot, Kettle. Kettle, Pot. Have ya’ll met? OK.

Don’t act like your nose isn’t magical either. Maybe not as magical as Michael’s but come on, lookin’ like the witch from Cinderella. Giving Jermaine Dupri them apples. LOL.

You ain’t exactly free from fleas yourself Ms. Janet! Your love for little people and pancakes is well-documented.

Bwahaha! Oh, and I don’t know about ya’ll, but I been checking for Randy Jackson lately, haven’t you?


If Rebbie comes out and does “Centipede” I would literally die. Right there. My soul would instantly rise up to meet Sweet Minty Jesus in Peppermint Patty Heaven.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]

Gremlins Giving Fashion Critiques, I’ve Seen It All Now

22 10 2007

Jermaine Dupri is still Captain Save-A-Hoing over Janet Jackson so he decided to call out Justin Timberlake in his new autobiography on some completely irrelevant shit.

He writes: “I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he’s very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin.

“He doesn’t make his style interesting even when he’s onstage. To me, he just doesn’t look like a star.” (Source)

Look, Justin’s appearance is not for me to call, I’ll leave that to y’all, ladies. But what I for DAMN sure can say is Midget Mac should not be talking. Lookin’ like a genie in a thimble and got the nerve to talk about someone else’s looks.

Does JD make his style interesting when he’s on-stage? Oh, that’s right, no one goes to his shows.

Posted by J

Popularity: 16% [?]