TGIF - Let’s get this party started right!

18 04 2008

AHM would like to thank hotghettomess.com and Annette for these pics.

WARNING: IF YOU ARE AT WORK OR AT SCHOOL, PLEASE TAKE CAUTION TO THE FOLLOWING PICTURES. PARENTAL DISCRETION JESUS IS ADVISED. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 21% [?]



Watch this with a straight face:

3 04 2008

Before I post the video, I would like to let everyone know that Raider_wifee has ruined my chances of entering the Pearly gates for sending me this. I feel like I’m going to hell with a full-ride scholarship. (*forgive me Lawd*):


Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 19% [?]



Not Safe For Life

2 04 2008

Mr. Pregnant is what goes bump in the night. And in the day, too, I’d assume.

This is what would happen if you put a Teletubby, Sway Calloway, this dude and a 7 year-old Asian girl in a blender. The results? Something that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

Damn you, Kayra

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]



I’m just gonna post this and offer up a prayer…

29 03 2008

Seriously tho…I really hope this gets better. I’m really praying.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 22% [?]



Mess of the Moment: Free (former host of 106 & Park)

25 03 2008

No Free! No! What a tragedy. Never in a million years would I have thought Free would look like a hot bowl of mess. (*SMH*). LaLa is like, “hurry up and take this damn picture.” Honestly, she looks pregnant to me. That’s my only justification of it, but there’s no reason to look like…

Posted by Justin Time™

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 21% [?]



Mariah Knowz Hur Theoremz!

12 02 2008

E = MC² is the new title of Mariah Carey’s album, formerly dubbed That Chick. I can’t decide which one is worse or more stupid but I’m leaning towards That Chick so I guess this is all right.

Stay tuned for that MC single.

People are getting their shit shut down for posting this song, and since it’s nothing ground-breaking, I’m not about to risk it. Y’all don’t know how much work it was to get back online after Diddles shut us down. The comments, though, are beyond our control. So if someone happened to post it there… well, you know.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]



Tom Cruise Scares Me.

16 01 2008


I heard about this video in ONTD, and then found it on Dailymotion. *right click, save!*

Will Smith, you got some esplainin’ to do.

It PONDERS ME how Tom Cruise just has flipped his lid. He used to be such a like, All-American Guy. Now him & Brad Pitt just done lost it — Tom Cruise is an alien and Brad Pitt done shacked up and got locked into 18 years (What Would Kanye Say?!). I don’t get it.

There are so many quotables from this Scientology video — hurry up and watch it before Xenu comes off his Southwest Airlines Flight #666 and beams it back up into the no-class section (cause you know Southwest has no first class).

I’m all for choice of religion or whatever, but this Scientology business scares me. They’ve tried to recruit me at the Celebrity Centre once or twice, but I tell them I believe in Christmas and anti-depressants and that Sweet Minty Jesus used to be wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger and they leave me alone. True story — I said Sweet Minty Jesus!

Sweet Minty Jesus > Xenu. PEEP GAME TOM.

Let me find out Will done recruited Jaden and Willow. I’m calling Child Protective Services LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]



“First Sunday” — Are You Bothering?

11 01 2008

First Sunday featuring Ice Cube, Katt Williams and Tracy Morgan hits theatres tonight.

Are you going? Is your church putting together a chicken fry & pound cake sale and then shipping all the youth on a Laidlaw to see this movie? Do you not care?

I think we tend to assume that most “black” movies are going to be “bad” from jump LOL. David E. Talbert, who was a playright before Tyler Perry blew up, is the one who wrote and produced this movie. I believe it’s his first major release. I REALLY only want to see this for Katt Williams because he is a cotdang fool. I have the strong feeling though that ALL the funny moments in the movie are already in the trailer LOL! Just like This Christmas. I’m still mad about that 20 minute-long Soul Train line at the end!!!!!!!!!!

Me? Well, I’ll be saving my $12 for Cloverfield next week. J. J. Abrams is my DUDE, and movies are too expensive in L.A. to see more than one a month LOL. Netflix is yo’ friend.

I read somewhere too that Cube really wanted Mike Epps to star in this with him. Sorry Tracy, FAIL. LOL! I’ll probably catch this on an HBO or Starz! In Black special, holla!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 31% [?]



Sweet Minty Jesus Is About To Rain Down Fire on DMX

2 01 2008

I done heard and seen it all. First Mase was a Pastor, then he decided he liked trannies in ATL so he became Murda Ma$e again, but now he’s preaching. DMX was a rapper, then he wanted to be a Pastor, then back to a rapper, and now he’s doing Gospel albums!? Tashera Simmons will NOT be MY first lady!

These rappers really need to stay on their meds and quit playing with people’s emotions!

Many of DMX’s conversations with God have been a matter of public record since his career bloomed to superstar status in 1998. His catalog features nearly as many inspirational ghetto hymns — such as “Lord Give Me a Sign,” “A Minute for Your Son” and “The Prayer” — as it does party anthems and street-corner knockers, and in 2006 he pondered changing his name for “spiritual reasons.” But now, the Dog has decided to go in full-throttle with his first-ever gospel-rap album, which he told MTV News will be coming out this year.

“I [was] the first n—a to put out two albums in one year [It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot and Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood in 1998], now I’m gonna hit ‘em again — drop two albums on the same f—in’ day, yo,” X said from his home in Arizona on Friday. “A double album will make mutha—-as mad [not saved?], because they gotta spend more money — plus it’s already a long [double] album. I’m talking about a hip-hop album and a gospel album.”

Combined, the project will be called Walk With Me Now and You’ll Fly With Me Later.

The Walk With Me Now portion will be dedicated to straight-up, raw raps, while the latter will feature his non-secular undertaking.

As for the gospel album, X noted that the lyrics will be “without cursing — how ’bout that one? No songs about b—-es, no songs about robbing, just straight ‘Give God the glory.’ ” [The IPS passes out from the irony of this statement]

Read more here

LOL, I found a gif this weekend that describes this perfectly:

Can  you imagine a DMX Gospel album!? “Thank you Jesus…for saving me from killing them m-fer’s…RUFF RUFF HOWWWWWWL BARK BARK JESUS SAVES NIGGAS! PRAISE HIM NIGGA!”

If he does a love song with Yolanda Adams I am officially turning in my Jesus piece and going to sell my chocolate body on Broadway. This is getting out of HAND! I’d buy a Fonsworth Bentley matching Umbrella/CD/Tie set before I bought a DMX Gospel album, sorry. DMX once cranked out hits, consistently. Now he probably just does crank, consistently.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 28% [?]



I WISH The 2Pacalypse Was Upon Us

28 12 2007

Ummm…

Flo Rida has the #1 record in the country. His song “Low” featuring Teddy Pendmyearsdownbleeding unseated Alicia Keys‘ “No One,” which had been on top of the charts for 5 weeks. 178,000 people bought it and it had increased airplay.  WHY!? But Alicia isn’t dead YET.

On Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs, Keys becomes only the second artist since this chart began using Nielsen Music data in 1992 to succeed herself at No. 1, as “Like You’ll Never See Me Again” jumps 2-1 and trades places with “No One,” which had ruled for 10 weeks. Nelly accomplished the feet in 2002 with “Hot in Herre” and “Dilemma.” (source)

While “No One” had to grow on me with all that constant straining she does on that song (”When the rain is falling dowwwwwwwwwwwn!” LAWDY!), I’d rather hear that than “shawty got loow looow looooow” featuring Chocolate Predator Pain on voicebox.

I just don’t get it…I really just don’t get it. Who is calling in and requesting these songs? Dude says “Apple bottoms” like, 50-11 times. Are we not tired of strip clubs and big ass and titties?! 2nd thought, don’t answer that. I want to keep hope alive!

*superman’s that hoe in the club*

Maybe I am jealous since the only place I make it rain at is in the shower. That water falls dowwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnn like Alicia’s “Itchy & Scratchy” vocals.

Wait — WHO EVEN LISTENS TO THE RADIO!?

And wait a minute, what happened to Nelly’s song “Wadsyaname”?! That song came and went faster than a 40 Year Old Virgin in a Las Vegas hoe-ranch. Sheiza!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 61% [?]



Raz B of B2K Airs Out Chris Stokes’ Dirty Laundry on Youtube

24 12 2007

Part 1:


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

WHAT?! *passes out in unbelief*

Part 2 after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 54% [?]



Jesus Be A Mr. Pibb: Tay Zonday Cherry Dr. Pepper Commercial

28 11 2007

Tay Zonday featuring Mista Johnson (Who? Is that Sir Mix-A-Lot’s brother?) - “Cherry Chocolate Rain”

Sweet Mary in the marshes, I’m 0.4 seconds away from quitting this bitch FOREVER.

I’m taking whoever heads up the ad campaigns at Dr. Pepper out back and making them pick a switch because this is just uncalled for.

Tay’s lip gloss is poppin’, it’s poppin’! He needs to call up Mike Jones and share the wealth. The grills were just too cliche even for me, but I must admit, when he was out there in the “hip hop threads” looking like a ghetto ventriloquist dummy, I hit the skids HARD. I’m not gonna get started on the lyrics.

*rapping* “He moves away from the mic to breathe in!”

WHY WHY WHY? JUST WHY?

Edit: It’s been brought to my attention that some of you don’t know who this goon is, so here’s the original “Chocolate Rain”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 17% [?]



The Song From 1991 You’ve Been Dying To Hear

16 11 2007

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

The “B’Phone” exclusive song “632-5792″ — which was allegedly recorded when she was 10 — is here for the world to enjoy. And you don’t even have to buy that shitty ass phone to hear it. What would you guys do without me (or in this case, ~MJ, holla, playboy)?

Shame on you, Beyaki, for making poor Baby Daniel record this. You didn’t think I’d actually be fooled did you?

I wouldn’t be surprised if they start playing this on the radio. Nothing surprises me anymore about this Beyoncé overkill campaign. Why don’t the Democrats just nominate her for president emperor already. Might as well.

I just had a thought. You know how 2Pac died and he’s still putting out albums? Just think if A Bey Bey bit the big one early, God forbid. We’d be subjected to two-disc collections of her humming the “Sesame Street” theme at three years old and making fart bubbles in the tub as a toddler. Lord, wipe me down. I’ve been in this blogging game too long.

Posted by J

Popularity: 22% [?]



HEAR, HEAR CHRIS ROCK!!

6 11 2007

Chris Rock is a fool and I love when he just calls ish out. I spotted this over at an industry blog I read and I had to post it.

Diddy — this one is for you!

Chris Rock: Music kind of sucks. Nobody’s into being a musician. Everybody’s getting their mogul on. You’ve been so infiltrated by this corporate mentality that all the time you’d spend getting great songs together, you’re busy doing nine other things that have nothing to do with art. You know how shitty Stevie Wonder’s songs would have been if he had to run a fuckin’ clothing company and a cologne line?

RollingStone: Plenty of rappers say, “I’m not a rapper, I’m a businessman.”

Chris Rock: That’s why rap sucks, for the most part. Not all rap, but as an art form it’s just not at its best moment. Sammy the Bull would have made a shitty album. And I don’t really have a desire to hear Warren Buffett’s album - or the new CD by Paul Allen. That’s what everybody’s aspiring to be.

We live in a weird time. No one knows who’s smart - we just know who makes money. “Hey, somebody invented Viagra! We don’t know their name, but we know Pfizer, because they make the money.” That guy made a pill that keeps your dick hard, and nobody knows who the fuck he is. The pharmaceutical companies are like fuckin’ record companies. There’s literally the Bo Diddley of medicine walking around, not getting his royalties. He signed all his fucking pill publishing away.

(”Rolling Stone”, Issue 1039, November 15, 2007, page 157)

PREACH! CHUUCH! *cues up organ* YES SUH! THAT’S THE WORD! HE GOT THE WORD! *falls under pew*

Can we give Chris Rock a lifetime Grammy achievement award or something? A Moonman? An American Music Award? A Nickelodeon surfboard!?! He deserves something! Hook a brotha up!

There’s nothing more American than calling someone out on their B.S. LOL.

I saw we file a class action lawsuit on behalf of Cheri Dennis, Danity Kane, MTB4 boys, Yung Joc, Gorilla Zoe, Eightball & MJG, and all the other Bad Boy Records artists who dropped albums/singles this year and no one even remembers them a couple of months later!

Don’t make me write another petition! ROFL!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 15% [?]



Just Give Her A Life Sentence Already

23 10 2007

Foxy Brown has been ordered into solitary confinement for 76 days after showing her ass once again at Rikers. Foxy has been getting into physical altercations with other inmates, saying rude things to corrections officers and refusing to cooperate with random drug tests. She will now be locked up in a solo room for 23 hours of the day. (Source)

Can they just give her a life sentence already? I think she’s grateful for the “three hots and a cot” anyway.

Posted by J

Popularity: 22% [?]