Cuba Sr. Takin’ Them To Church

29 04 2008

Cuba Gooding Sr., who was once a part of the soul group Main Ingredient, sung the National Anthem at the 2008 Soulabration Tournament and butchered that shit. A lot of people are saying he “pulled a Carl Lewis” but I don’t think it’s quite that bad. It’s still pretty bad, though.

He thought he was getting it! At certain points he just sped up for no reason! That had me dying. I laughed at the fact that he was all “TEST” like it made a difference.

Y’all know I’m Mexican so I loved Main Ingredient, they had some jams. They still play “Everybody Plays The Fool” every Sunday here in LA!

Thanks “me”

Posted by J

Popularity: 8% [?]



Mariah Doesn’t Need A Backing Track To Tell Someone To Shut Up!

25 04 2008

So, Mariah got caught lipsynching on “Good Morning America” this morning. Big fuckin’ surprise, she’s been using a backing track for the longest and if you go back and watch some of those early “We Belong Together” performances you’ll understand why.

The real hilarity here is when she actually starts singing — aside from sounding all kinds of messy, she got in one of her back-up singers faces for trying to steal the shine. At around the three-minute mark, she squeals “Stop singin’ my part now, baby!”

I’m no more good after watching this. She looked heated! I wouldn’t be surprised if that backup singer is crying in the “bad trailer” right now. You know, where they keep the dogs’ used play-toys and Da Brat’s weed.

Thanks Camille

Posted by J

Popularity: 39% [?]



Video: Riskay (feat. Aviance & Real) - “Smell Yo D***”

23 04 2008

In case you were wondering, this isn’t safe for work.

I’ve been trying to avoid this song but when I heard there was a video, curiosity got the best of me. Lawwwwwddddd, it’s too early for me to be dealing with this. “Dirty foot bitches”?! I’m using that one!

I really fell out at Keyshia Cole’s play cousin singing the hook. How would you feel getting your break in the industry singing about this?

And here I thought Solé’s “4, 5, 6″ was ghetto. If you took that song/video and multiplied it by a bucket of grease, some non-conflict free Yaki and Flavor Flav’s breath, this video is the level of stank you would get.

Posted by J

Popularity: 45% [?]



Poak (not Pork) Chops Video

18 04 2008

A lil sumthin to ride out to as the weekend approaches:



(good look csway)

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 36% [?]



TGIF - Let’s get this party started right!

18 04 2008

AHM would like to thank hotghettomess.com and Annette for these pics.

WARNING: IF YOU ARE AT WORK OR AT SCHOOL, PLEASE TAKE CAUTION TO THE FOLLOWING PICTURES. PARENTAL DISCRETION JESUS IS ADVISED. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 42% [?]



Laugh of the Day: Erykah Badu’s Tips For Success

16 04 2008

This might be a little old, but it’s new to me and it gave me a good laugh. “Do some ho shit” is gonna be my new catch phrase next time my friend asks what they should do in any given situation. “Butt ass naked with some glitter and a beeper”?! AHAHAHAHA. Too much, Ms. Apples, too much.

Posted by J

Popularity: 17% [?]



Laugh of the Day: “Soulja Boyz II Men”

15 04 2008


I thought of this possibility, but the fact that somebody took the time to do this is hilarious.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 12% [?]



Sunday’s Post: The Many One-Liners of CSI Miami’s Horatio Caine (David Caruso)

6 04 2008

Normally I don’t post on Sundays, but hey. Now, David Caruso is probably not liked by many, especially since his days on NYPD Blue, so it’s understandable if this may not be funny to some, but hell…I’m dying.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 31% [?]



Beyasha’s Got Hos In Different (Country) Codes!

4 04 2008

This is a fan video made featuring all fiftyleven billion fans of Beyoncé from all over the world, but particuarly Spain and Brazil. There’s even someone from Iraq in here! This is hilarious because it starts off with photos/footage of Beyoncé while playing “Brown Eyes” in the background. This is taking obsession to a new level! Listening to the lyrics and seeing her face during it just made me fall out because I believe whoever made this is maniacally in love with her.

This is an army of Beyoncé stans. They could wage war on anybody.

I don’t expect you to sit here and watch all these pictures scroll by (unless you’re into that kind of thing — a lot of metrosexual looking dudes and some Polish girls Glamour Shot’d up), but please, if nothing else, scroll to around eight minutes or so. This is where the video really gets out of hand. I collapsed at the look on the little Dakota Fanning’s face at 8:15.

Thanks “I hate Beyoncé stans”

Posted by J

Popularity: 29% [?]



Laugh of the Day: T-Pain & Akon Get Lunch

3 04 2008

This is just a mess. I died off when Akon said “Did you read them at all?” in that tone with a furrowed brow. It really got messy when Snoop came in the picture.

This really would have been off the chains if they had pulled out Zapp Band and had them calling these fools out for jacking their steelo. I’m just sayin’. Sequel maybe? Put me down for producer on that.

Thanks Bref_Stank & MissOMyGoodnezz

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Lil’ Llama Blowin’ Up Spots!

3 04 2008

 

Lil’ Mama talked to SOHH about her experience being on tour with artists like Chris Brown, Bow Wow, Soulja Boy and others, saying it was “like high school”.This is hilarious because she is trying to play it off like she had so much fun but you can tell she was focused more on the negative aspects. Egos, jealousy and boyfriend-girlfriend situations… I have no problem believing any of this, but the part that’s funny is she only mentioned MALE artists other than herself! I got this mental image of Omarion storming into Woof Woof’s dressing room and asking him why Chris Brown’s body oil was in his car.

Posted by J

Popularity: 25% [?]



Laugh of the Day: Over the Hills

26 03 2008

Well, “The Hills” is a guilty pleasure of mine, and confused old people are always good for a cheap laugh. I keed, I keed. It’s like they said in the beginning, none of them were harmed in the making of this video.

Tell me why Lauren came out on a walker?! I about passed out. Her speaking voice was hilarious too. I laughed at the fact that Old Heidi kinda sounds like the real one.

“Let’s go roll up on her.”
“What?!”
*shouts* “LET’S GO ROLL UP ON HER RIGHT NOW!”

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]



Now Yo’ Bidness Is All On eBay!

26 03 2008

Scott Storch’s yacht, the $20 million (that’s not a typo) “Tiffany” (that’s not a typo either), was recently auctioned on eBay and sold for approximately $2.5 mil because Kermit couldn’t pay the notes on this bad boy girl. From the bidding page:

THE BOAT IS BEING SOLD UNDER DISTRESS ,OWNER BOUGHT HER AND NOW GOT SHORT ON MONEY. OWNER STARTED REFITTING THIS YACHT A MONTH AGO.The bottom has been done and the boat will be going in the water on march 9 ,2008: props have been resurfaced and balanced,rudders resealed,zincs replaced,bottom job.The green color will be replaced by beige,vip and guest room will have different suede color than purple and pink.A jacuzzi might be added to upper deck.A 300k project will start and after that the price of the boat will be raised.Tiffany gives you the luxury of a stylish Art Deco interior. The clean classic lines of the Art Deco theme create a harmonious atmosphere for total relaxation. She is a “yacht with a pedigree” having been built at the world renowned Devenport Shipyard in England,and joins their list of many famous clients including The Royal Yacht Britannia and M/Y Leander. The systems and the decor on Tiffany are befitting the finest of the worlds largest yachts .To replace Tiffany in today’s market would cost well in excess of 19 Million Dollars .The owner will consider taking a boat in trade or even property. Tiffany was built to the best and highest standards.The boat sold in 1995 for 11.9 million dollars when boats of that size sold for 4 and 5 million max.It was built as a ship .The boat is undergoing a refit as we speak.It already had a complete paint job in 2006/07.New carpet and furniture in 2007.There was around 600k spent on it.It is also getting a full service done on it during the sale period.The boat has 4 staterooms 3 of which have their own jacuzzi bath tubs,it also has 3 crew cabin with their own heads.The boat has an immense living room. (Source)

Dang, “short on money”! They really blew up Scotty’s spot with that one. Not that no one knew he was broke but this is really just adding insult to injury. Seeing your $20 million “investment” (I use the word in quotes because you can’t really call a boat the size of Venus a practical investment) up on eBay has got to be almost as painful as realizing you spent $20 million on something that wasn’t… well, a house or something. Unless you like living on water. And I mean on it in the literal sense, not just next to it.

There are a bunch of pictures on the page as well. The beds look like they were made in a hurry, like the Repo Man kicked Scott’s ass in a hurry and then had a bunch of dudes clean it up as much as possible before George came in with the Polaroid. I really fell out at this one though (blue MSPaint chicken scratch is the work of yours truly, in case there were any confusion; click to enlarge):

Posted by J

Popularity: 16% [?]



The Pied Piper Says: “JA’MON, KIDS!”

25 03 2008

After all the years it’s been open, we are finally getting a sneak peek of what Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch looks like on the inside now that the space is in danger of being auctioned off. There’s a lot of what you would expect… carousels, ferris wheels and shit, but there was also this lithograph, photographed near the entrance, of Michael leading a group of kids down a path.

I’m sorry but I fell out when I saw this! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I really don’t think Michael has ever molested any kids, I think he thinks he’s a child himself, but DAMN! It could be my eyes deceiving me but it looks like that line of children reaches all the down the bend! Someone call Dora the Explorer and let her know she needs to call Child Services so they can LET HER PEOPLE GO.

(Image Source)

Posted by J

Popularity: 18% [?]



Video: Wendy Ho - “B****, I Stole Your Purse”

19 03 2008

Warning: adult language.

I know I’m late as hell with this one but I couldn’t resist posting it. When I first saw the e-mail for this with the subject “Wendy Ho” I figured there was a new Asian judge show coming out. But nah, she literally meant “ho”.

This is almost too much for me to handle today. I know she didn’t repeat the line back like Mike Jones. I fell out when she came out in that Bozo the clown wigpiece toward the end, walking on Canal Street.

From Wendy’s bio:

Wendy Ho was raised in a trailer court, and overindulged with too many episodes of 227 and Good Times! However, this Nubian princess hasn’t always been black. After moving to NYC from Kansas City, she spent years on the streets of Harlem hustlin, hoin, and flowin.

Ho started writing songs about her experiences as a white trash girl gone ghetto ho in HarlemUSA. The Ho & Mo Show was widely acclaimed by audiences during her nine month residency at Therapy in NYC. Her very own monthly variety show, The Wendy Ho Show at Caroline’s on Broadway featured headliners Judy Gold and Susie Essman. She is currently developing and starring in her own one woman show, The Gospel According to Ho, which features music from her debut album of the same title. She will steal your purse, warn you about the dangers of flossing your teeth before giving head, and demand that “you feather Susan’s Loochey.” Her debut video, “Bitch I Stole Yo Purse,” is currently running on Logo’s NewNowNext. (Wendy’s Site)

“RANG-A-LANG-A-LANG!” is gonna be my new ringtone.

Posted by J

Popularity: 46% [?]