So Many Questions

16 04 2008

* Why is Sisqo at the CMT Awards?
* In fact, how did he even get past security?
* How much did the time machine ride to 1999 to get that hair bleach cost?
* Is that guido look intentional or could he not afford the top three buttons?
* He hasn’t pawned that dragon chain yet?
* Why is he so short that I can see the “X” on the carpet where they are told to pose for pictures? SMH.

Props to Go Fug Yourself

Posted by J

Popularity: 13% [?]



WTF story of the Day: (’Entreprenegroship’ coined by Mika)

15 04 2008

I tried. I promise, I tried. I said to myself, “self…you need to call it a day.” I’m currently posting while tryna work a full time job. But man…when I read this story, I was looking for the pink slip of life. Here’s the story (hot mess in bold): Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 26% [?]



Faith Evans’ Memoirs… Are You Checking For This?

14 04 2008

Faith Evans‘ personal memoirs are reported to be hitting bookstores in August. Of course the title of the book is “Keep The Faith”. How many play-on-words can she do with her name? This is getting a little tired. I have “faith” that this will be a bunch of retread stories about how she beat Lil’ Kim’s ass and hated Biggie for cheating on her all the time.

(Source)

Posted by J

Popularity: 15% [?]



Oh hellllllll to the naw!

9 04 2008

The following youtubery is of a 16 year old girl, who went over a friend’s house, got betrayed, and ended up getting her ass whooped. I ain’t gonna tell the whole story, but watch this:


Can’t blame hiphop on this one…lol.  Your thoughts?

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 28% [?]



WTF Story of the Day - 3rd Graders?

1 04 2008


(thanks Texas [a person…not the state] for the story)
Usually I don’t say my share until after the story, but…(*sigh*)…aight…I’m not gonna get ahead of myself. I’m sure you’re like…”What in the hell is that picture about?” Well…

This photo provided by Chief of Police of Waycross, Ga., Tony Tanner, Tuesday, April 1, 2008. A group of third-graders plotted to attack their teacher, bringing a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape and other items for the job and assigning children tasks including covering the windows and cleaning up afterward, police said Tuesday. The plot by as many as nine boys and girls at Center Elementary School in south Georgia was a serious threat, Waycross Police Chief Tony Tanner said. [MORE ON THE STORY HERE]

Ok…first of all…them little nigglets PLOTTED this joint? PLOTTED? As in “a well thought out plan?” This ain’t iSpy! Kids done lost their damn minds! PLOTTED? I can’t get over that. They had ASSIGNED TASKS!!! Who was delegating this mug? Macaulay Culkin? This ain’t “School Alone!” Anyways…the task that got me was “cleaning up afterward.” *SMH* CLEANING? KIDS? WILLFULLY CLEANING? Wow. And here’s the final thing that sent me over the top. They bought a steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, and “other” items. My questions are:

1. What were the “other” items? I see a sock (gloves) and a clear tube of some sort (paper weight) in the picture. What the hell were they gonna do with that? Make muppets? (question answered…thanks guys!)
2. Where are the parents? I know they all have parents because they assigned tasks such as CLEANING and PRIORITIZING.
3. Handcuffs? Handcuffs? How in the Jon Benet Ramsey do you have handcuffs readily available for a 3rd grader?
4. Who was the teacher? I mean really, what did this teacher do for the kids to PLOT? Only Michael Jackson and R. Kelly could make kids get this pissed.

Jesus…be a Hot Wheel or a Barbie Doll to these kids today. I blame Dora the Explorer, Diego, Charlie Brown, and all them miscellaneous shows with no parents. SMH. We need Jesus and Joe Jackson to be a fence.

Oh…I didn’t even tell y’all the MOTIVE behind the plot. I’ma let y’all read the full story and comment. I’m through.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 19% [?]



It’s Friday, and ah…this is how we gon start it off…

28 03 2008



(shoutout to gemini0673)

Wow! I woke up this morning, checked my email, got a link to this, watched it, looked up to Sweet Minty Himself as He wept, then went back to sleep. MAN! no…seriously. MAN? or WOMAN? This is grade A, certified hot mess. Half flamingo/Half Tranny? And what’s with the extra smedium double breasted suit jacket? Church socks with pumps? (Jesus…take the wheel) I would comment on the crew behind him/her, but this post might turn into a novel. Enough of this sugary baffonery! That ceiling fan was just there for decoration, because ain’t no way that it was gonna cool down that hot mess.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 30% [?]



Everyone Wants A Piece Of The ‘Good Life’

27 03 2008

Kanyeisha is a lot of things, but I don’t think he’s a thief. “D’Mystro” disagrees.

An obscure songwriter named D’Mystro is claiming that Kanye West jacked one of his songs. In a lawsuit filed in Maryland District Court, D’Mystro (real name Dayna Staggs ) accused Kanye of copyright infringement for the T-Pain-featured hit song “Good Life.”

The suit which also named West’s label, Roc-A-Fella, claims that he didn’t obtain a license to use “Volume of Good Life” for his song. D’Mystro also expressed displeasure at the vulgar and offensive words on “Good Life,” which he claims “harms the reputation” of his song. According to the lawsuit obtained by TMZ, Kanye was only 6 or 7 when “Volume of Good Life” was copyrighted. D’Mystro claims to have suffered “irreparable injury” and is seeking injunctive relief of “85% of all world sales of the proceeds from the music that uses his work.”
Earlier this year, Kanye won a Grammy for “Good Life,” in the Best Rap Song category. (Source)

What I wanna know is, how did Kanye steal this song from ol’ boy when 50% is Jacko’s chipmunks from “PYT” and 25% of it is from “School Spirit”?

Somehow I’m not surprised he wants money. A mess at this harming the reputation of his song. Has anyone else heard it besides he and his cats?

Posted by J

Popularity: 23% [?]



Would You ‘Roc’ This ‘Familia’ Flava?

24 03 2008

Kanye West, Mary J. Blige and Jay-Z were photographed backstage at the kick-off of Mary & Jay’s tour in Miami wearing some very interesting unis. Would you step into this Viva La Roc (and friends) fashion closet?

Behind Door #1: General Kanye Santa Anna and his Mexican troops getting ready to storm The Alamo Herbie Hancock’s house for that Grammy.

Behind Door #2: The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul becomes the Queen of Arts ‘n’ Crafts by rolling her jacket around in some paint before heading onstage to perform. Raw emotion meets abstract!

Behind Door #3: Join Jigga as he dons a life jacket and leaps from the Titanic known as U.S.S. Def Jam. Big foe’headed women and children on camel-back get the first boats!

Posted by J

Popularity: 22% [?]



NEGRO PLEASE of the Week…

21 03 2008

Whaddup AHM? This is Justin Time (and no…that’s not my government name). I’ve been a AHM faithful since ahotmessblog.com was ahotmess.wordpress.com. Anyways…that’s the whole gist of things. Thanks to Erin and J for the opportunity. I’m not a replacement, I’m an addition. The IPS can never be replaced. Well..with that said, let me hit y’all off with the Negro Please of the week…

An “Oprah Winfrey Show” audience member is suing Harpo Studios Wednesday after some overzealous guests allegedly caused her to fall down a flight of stairs.

On Dec. 5, 2006, Orit Greenberg went to Harpo Studios to be an audience member for the Oprah show, according to a lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court Wednesday.

Greenberg, along with an “excess number of patrons,” gathered in a waiting area before filing into the studio to be seated, the suit said. When the audience members were instructed to enter the studio and sit “where they wanted,” Greenberg claims she was pushed down stairs as the patrons “rushed the gate” while pushing and shoving one another.

The suit said Harpo management failed to properly control the crowd and was careless by allowing guests to seat themselves.

Greenberg allegedly suffered “severe and permanent injuries” from the fall, and is asking for more than $50,000 for medical care and other damages, the suit said. [source]

I had to insert the certified “Negro Please” face on this one. Let me get this straight…she was shoved by miscellaneous people, but sues Oprah for “falling” down the stairs? No ma’am. You must’ve bumped your head in mid step. I declare…if she wins this case, I’m inviting anyone to come with me to Bill Gates’ house, and we’re gonna run face first into his gated house, and sue him and Microsoft for “gate malfunctioning.”

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 38% [?]



Speaking Of Waldos…

11 03 2008

Nivea showed up to some party looking like a cross between Saaphyri, Lil Mama and a muppet. Rumor has it she’s back to gettin’ freaky with Weezy after dumping The-Dream last December, so we’ll probably be seeing a little more of her around soon. Which I’m not sure is a good thing after peeping this.

All I wanna know is… are you checking for another Nivea album?

(Photo Source)

Posted by J

Popularity: 31% [?]



Rihanna Covers Cosmopolitan

11 02 2008

“Your Va-Jay-Jay”

* dies and cranks dat Winehouse with Tyrone Biggums *

Putting her on this cover with all those sex-related bylines was just NOT a great idea. Really!

I bet Jay-Z has sex with himself when Bey’s on tour dropping down low and sweeping the floor with it to Rihanna too, though he was trying to front last night like he didn’t *snickers*

I wonder what Rhi-bot looks like sans-Photoshop. We got to respect her now ya’ll. She is a GRAMMY AWARD WINNER. *SEOD to the Recording Academy*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 21% [?]



Even 3T Had Negro Features…These 2? Not So Much.

31 01 2008

 

WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE

Michael Jackson, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER.

The boy MAAAAAAYBE looks like him, but come on…vitiligo doesn’t affect your genes. Don’t affect your sperm. As dark as them Jackson’s are, and as much as he wants us to believe he is a white lady now, there’s no way he could have two children who look like that!
Even 3T were lightskinned, but come on, they still had black features LOL. These little kids look adopted. Jackson have SKRONG features.

I really don’t care, but this just kind of blew my mind. I spotted it over at blackfolk.

If you believe those are his kids, then I got a planet called Pluto I want to sell you. Step into my office…

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 42% [?]



New Pepsi Commercial With Missy, LL, Busta & Macy Gray

30 01 2008


LOL I will admit, I was like, WTF is going on?!

Then it made sense at the end ROFL. LOL @ Chris Kattan. I love him.

Riddle me this, Bobby Jones: Why is Macy Gray relevant? LOL. I mean, Amerie could have at least krumped a lil’ bit, you know, since she been practicin’ and all. When I see/hear Macy, I want to SPIT OUT my Pepsi, not drank some mo’.

There’s also another one with Justin Timberlake, but ya’ll know how I feel about that dude:

Yeah, can’t STAND him. You can watch it if you want to. I was glad he hit his nads, hmph. Annoying!!

Oh and BTW, Pepsi > Coke. YAAAAAAHHHHH SHASTA YAHHHHH!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]



Good Lawd That’s A lot Of Money!

24 01 2008

It has now surfaced that Shaq is spending up to $850,000 a month on his expenses. That is ridiculous and all but are we really all that surprised? I’m just mad at him being emotional over his wife being secretive of finances when he is spending $6,730 a month on dry cleaning! Outrageous!

The tall-head just sent a Miami-Dade court a never-seen-before affidavit for his and wife Shaunie’s divorce file. Records show O’Neal dragged his size 23 sneakers over the mandatory financial snapshot for months.

While the document says O’Neal makes an enormous amount of money, $1.8 million in monthly salary, publicity contracts and returns on investments, his routine expenses total $875,000 - A MONTH.

Among them: $156,116 in mortgages on three homes (including his $20 million mansion on Star Island, Miami Beach), plus $31,299 in homeowners insurance; $3,345 in phone bills; $1,610 in lawn and pool maintenance; $12,775 in food; $1,495 in cable TV; $24,300 in gas; $6,730 in dry cleaning; $17,220 in clothing; $2,305 for pets, and $110,505 in vacations.

Child care sets Shaq back $26,500 a month. He and Shaunie have four children, and Shaq had an extra one from a previous relationship. By the way, Shaq is paying $10,000-a-month in temporary child support and another 10 grand in alimony.

To his credit, the big-man-in-the-middle is doing his share in helping close the giant federal budget deficit. The 13-page document shows he pays nearly $6 million a year in federal income tax and nearly $2.5 million in taxes in states where the Heat play away games. Property taxes sets him back about $850,000.

Source

Posted by Erin T.

Popularity: 32% [?]



Tom Cruise Scares Me.

16 01 2008


I heard about this video in ONTD, and then found it on Dailymotion. *right click, save!*

Will Smith, you got some esplainin’ to do.

It PONDERS ME how Tom Cruise just has flipped his lid. He used to be such a like, All-American Guy. Now him & Brad Pitt just done lost it — Tom Cruise is an alien and Brad Pitt done shacked up and got locked into 18 years (What Would Kanye Say?!). I don’t get it.

There are so many quotables from this Scientology video — hurry up and watch it before Xenu comes off his Southwest Airlines Flight #666 and beams it back up into the no-class section (cause you know Southwest has no first class).

I’m all for choice of religion or whatever, but this Scientology business scares me. They’ve tried to recruit me at the Celebrity Centre once or twice, but I tell them I believe in Christmas and anti-depressants and that Sweet Minty Jesus used to be wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger and they leave me alone. True story — I said Sweet Minty Jesus!

Sweet Minty Jesus > Xenu. PEEP GAME TOM.

Let me find out Will done recruited Jaden and Willow. I’m calling Child Protective Services LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 20% [?]