TGIF - Let’s get this party started right!

18 04 2008

AHM would like to thank and Annette for these pics.


Popularity: 42% [?]

A Bobble-Butt Doll? (Instant Hot Mess)

17 04 2008

(shoutout to Rezidue for the pic)

Quick, hop in the Assbulance! This picture needs to be rushed to the IHMU (Intensive Hot Mess Unit) for examination. Right now, it’s been reported that this Bobble-butt doll is to promote Mike Jones‘ new track, but we will keep you informed as the days go by. In the meantime…(*opens file cabinet*)…this is going to be filed in the “E” folder, under “Extra Stoopid.” Lawd…help your people.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 14% [?]

Mess of the Moment: Free (former host of 106 & Park)

25 03 2008

No Free! No! What a tragedy. Never in a million years would I have thought Free would look like a hot bowl of mess. (*SMH*). LaLa is like, “hurry up and take this damn picture.” Honestly, she looks pregnant to me. That’s my only justification of it, but there’s no reason to look like…

Posted by Justin Time™

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Popularity: 22% [?]

Lil’ Kim Lesbian Hook-Up? Oh, Jesus.

3 03 2008

DJ “Golden Girl” (who?) has decided to follow in the footsteps of famous groupies like Superhead and publish a tell-all book about her exploits with hip-hop stars. The first person she’s detailing having relations with is Lil’ Kim. The description of the “tryst” sounds like a horny 14 year-old wrote it, with classy phrases like “p**** juice down to my ears”. Peep Illseed’s site for the whole thing, if you dare.

If this was about Eve I might believe it or even Trina, because I think she’d have a relationship with a dog if she thought it would give her some press but Kim? I can’t picture it for some reason and if it were to happen it would definitely happen with someone prettier than this.

Posted by J

Popularity: 40% [?]

Give Cousin Elsie A Kiss

29 02 2008

I know “dressing up”, “appearances”, “looking non-alien” — these things have never been Macy Gray’s forte. It’s not what she’s about. But I’m mad at her looking like Cousin Elsie from “In Living Color”. This is out of hand.

Did she just land a plane in that jacket? She looks like one of those pilots who gets twisted at the bar before takeoff.

I don’t know, she looks crazy, but is this Mess of the Moment worthy? I’ll leave it up to you guys. I was thinking of letting her slide.

Posted by J

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Popularity: 47% [?]

Johnny Gill Is Still Hating

27 02 2008

Johnny Gill is being salty about Eddie and Tracey’s playhouse wedding and said that her guests were being inappropriate. Tracey had some words herself:

“I was very shocked and disappointed to hear of Johnny Gill’s false spin on the chain of events surrounding our wedding. His outrageous lies were clearly a very desperate and pathetic attempt to clean up his reputation at my expense. I would appreciate it if Mr. Gill would refrain from continuing to spread false gossip and lies to the public, and allow everyone involved to move on with their lives. We all know the real truth.

Now I mean, this could go both ways and she knows it. We know what she meant. I’m so dead at her making a jab at Johnny on the slick. Can we get a tell-all book? A youtube confession from Johnny? Eddie has them on lock with this. I just feel bad for Johnny because it’s only a matter of time before Eddie finds another girl to beard him. Jennifer Freeman comes to mind because I really think she is ready to beard. I mean, she WAS “engaged” to Marques Houston.


Posted by Erin T. 

Popularity: 29% [?]

If It’s Not On ‘In Living Color’, Do Not Want

26 02 2008

Jamie Foxx must be bored or something because I was reading over at Juicy-News he’s set to play Mike Tyson in an upcoming biopic. I don’t know if this is going to be straight-to-DVD, BET Blackbuster or whatever but I just can’t see “mainstream” (ahem) audiences paying to see a story about his ass. The worst part is they will probably get Robin Givens desperate ass to play herself. I mean, she’s already playing Wendy Williams in that biopic. Um… yeah (I love you, Wendy!).

Tyson says, “Jamie Foxx and I will be working together. He will play me in the film about my life. We already talked about it several times.” Tyson also insists he is finally free of drugs for the first time in years, admitting he was never completely sober - even in his boxing heyday.

Now, if they got Keenen Ivory to do his impression from “In Living Color” and made it movie-form, I might go see that. Maybe. But this? This mess? Does Jamie need to pay off a baby mama? Owes some money to the mob? I don’t get this.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]

Ri-Ri Named Youth Ambassador of Barbados

22 02 2008

Welcome to da island, wha’ gwan! Gal get you a haircut and ya set, ya dun know.

Fresh off her Grammy win last week, R&B/pop star Rihanna has been named an Ambassador for Culture and Youth in her home country of Barbados.

According to The Barbados Advocate, the Def Jam songstress was given the title by Prime Minister David Thompson at a tribute concert held in her honor last night (Thursday, Jan. 21).

Thompson said that in light of all of Rihanna’s recent achievements, including her Grammy award for the smash hit “Umbrella,” the singer should be formally recognized as a positive role model and source of inspiration for the country.

“I really don’t know what to say,” Rihanna said upon hearing the news. “I am so grateful and I have never been more proud to be Bajan.”

The 20-year-old star, whose full name is Robin Rihanna Fenty, also got a Land Rover and a diamond bracelet from some of the event’s sponsors, along with a birthday cake to celebrate her birthday this past Wednesday (Feb. 20). (Source)

She doesn’t know what to say because she hasn’t been programmed for it yet. ER-ROR, ER-ROR!

Erin and I have been talking about all weekend how Rihanna lucked up on this haircut — right place, right time — and now people are just knocking themselves the hell out to give her what she wants. I can’t hate too hard because she seems like a sweet little fembot but damn, a Range Rover and diamond bracelet, really? Isn’t there someone who still lives in Barbados that this so-called youth group can hook up? Rihanna probably gave the Range Rover to her weed carrier and uses the diamond bracelet as a bike lock with all the money she made off “Umbrella”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 48% [?]

Girl, You So Edgy

21 02 2008

Rihanna bought a bunch of shitty pop art from Jack Gallery in LA’s Fairfax District. She just turned 20 so in addition to getting tattoos of sparkles and probably buying some kind of whips and chains as a joke, she got paintings that will reportedly go in both of her homes in LA and NYC. (Props to Just Jared)

I’m sure she thinks these are “rad” or whatever word Fefe Dobson would use to describe it. I’m mad at these paintings! This looks like some shit you’d see on a screen tee at Target for $10 a pop. And her ass probably bought these for ten grand. Rihanna’s a mess, though. I think it’s her age. I’m sure she has an “ice cream room” or something like that where she’ll hang these and her and her edgy friends will have an ironic laugh at them. (One more pic after the jump.)

Posted by J

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Popularity: 49% [?]

Aretha Calls 9-Wah-Wah On The Grammys

12 02 2008

Aunt ReRe needs to sit down and have a bowl (or seven) of ice cream to get over this because the rest of us just don’t care.

When Beyoncé and Tina Turner hit the Grammy stage for their high-octane duet, most folks were left in awe. But the woman known as the “Queen of Soul” was left a bit dismayed after Beyoncé introduced Turner as “the queen.”

An offended Aretha Franklin says in a statement, “I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between the Grammy writers and Beyoncé, however I dismissed it as a cheap shot for controversy. In addition to that, I thank the Grammys and the voting academy for my 20th Grammy and love to Beyoncé anyway.”

There was no immediate comment from Beyoncé or the Recording Academy. (Source)

I think enough people have kissed those oversized mammaries for a lifetime, hmmm? Does it REALLY matter that you didn’t get ALL the shine for once? Did you copyright the word “Queen”?

The worst part about this is I totally saw it coming as soon as Bey-Bey introuced Anna Mae. Maybe if Aretha decided to put on something other than a “2002 prom dress” (NaeNae, you a fool for that one) that looks like it’s three sizes too small and keep her jug-ulars in check we’d be more inclined to “properly honor her”.

Posted by J

Popularity: 30% [?]

Mariah Knowz Hur Theoremz!

12 02 2008

E = MC² is the new title of Mariah Carey’s album, formerly dubbed That Chick. I can’t decide which one is worse or more stupid but I’m leaning towards That Chick so I guess this is all right.

Stay tuned for that MC single.

People are getting their shit shut down for posting this song, and since it’s nothing ground-breaking, I’m not about to risk it. Y’all don’t know how much work it was to get back online after Diddles shut us down. The comments, though, are beyond our control. So if someone happened to post it there… well, you know.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]

Boy Stop!

8 02 2008

Are you going to see this tonight, or are you hitting up the bootleg man on Monday?

If anyone’s name in this movie ends in “-isha,” I will be boycotting the theatres and Urban movies. I’m still mad about wasting that $12 on “First Sunday.” Praise the Luya and pass the Henn for Katt Williams who saved that mess!

I like Mike Epps though, I have a feeling this movie might have been funnier with him in the lead role. Doesn’t Martin have another movie coming out in a couple of months with Raven-Symone? “College Road Trip”? He trying to stack that paper this year, I ain’t mad. Someone let me know how this is though tomorrow — it might turn out good.

I was just watching “Blue Streak” this past weekend…Martin can be great when he chooses good roles.

Let this be said: I’m a big fan of Urban movies, but only when they are just…better than this. This movie looks like another “all the funny parts are in the trailer” movie. I might save my movie budget for “Jumper” next week — Sam Jackson in with a blond haircut? Yes plz!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 26% [?]

Mess of the Moment: ‘Tasia Mae Is Channeling Pepe LePew

7 02 2008

From classy…


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Popularity: 37% [?]

Dangerously Out Of Tune

4 02 2008

Kelly, I ain’t mad. You better use that membership to the Wig Crypt and that discount to all-you-can-wear House of Deadwrong to your advantage! Stick ‘em for they paper ma!

WHEN Kelly Rowland can’t hit a high note, she calls in the big guns. The former Destiny’s Child member recently recorded a song in New York with Gym Class Heroes front man Travis McCoy, but struggled to hit one high note. So she called up her best pal Beyoncé, who showed up within the hour with six armed bodyguards in tow. She gave Rowland tips and coached her until she got it. (Source)

What Kelly needs to do is call Betty Wright from “Making The Band” with those magical drumsticks to help her get it together. “I love you foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” 

Six bodyguards?! Dang, and how long has she known Kelly? LOL, did Bee think that Kelly was gonna kill her and put on her lacefront and some Pancake and go sleep with Jay-Z and see what it felt like to be a platinum worldwide music star?

I wonder how many bodyguards she shows up when Michelle needs help practicing her “Color Purple” songs? 20? LOL. Beyonce probably told her, “The only reason you are playing Shug Avery is because I was scratching my a** that day Michelle. Don’t forget that!”

Mama Knowles probably brings her root boxes along whenever all three of them are in the same room — just in case of course.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 25% [?]

“First Sunday” — Are You Bothering?

11 01 2008

First Sunday featuring Ice Cube, Katt Williams and Tracy Morgan hits theatres tonight.

Are you going? Is your church putting together a chicken fry & pound cake sale and then shipping all the youth on a Laidlaw to see this movie? Do you not care?

I think we tend to assume that most “black” movies are going to be “bad” from jump LOL. David E. Talbert, who was a playright before Tyler Perry blew up, is the one who wrote and produced this movie. I believe it’s his first major release. I REALLY only want to see this for Katt Williams because he is a cotdang fool. I have the strong feeling though that ALL the funny moments in the movie are already in the trailer LOL! Just like This Christmas. I’m still mad about that 20 minute-long Soul Train line at the end!!!!!!!!!!

Me? Well, I’ll be saving my $12 for Cloverfield next week. J. J. Abrams is my DUDE, and movies are too expensive in L.A. to see more than one a month LOL. Netflix is yo’ friend.

I read somewhere too that Cube really wanted Mike Epps to star in this with him. Sorry Tracy, FAIL. LOL! I’ll probably catch this on an HBO or Starz! In Black special, holla!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 31% [?]