Did Someone Say CamHOdian Breast Milk?

25 04 2008

Da Band is back together y’all! You can catch them on tour at local fairs, parks and swap meets. Just playin’, they just went out to the club together. And thank God for that.

Uh, Sara? You lookin’ a little grown in the chest. Either she’s pregnant with quintuplets or she got a boob job. I’ll let you guys decide which.

More flicks after the jump.

Peeped at YBF

Posted by J

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 42% [?]



I Hope You Get Stuck In Traffic

22 04 2008

I know this clip is like a millisecond long — the rest of it must be on layaway, like this show, apparently.

As far as imitating Oprah goes, this really takes the cake. Though I must say, Gayle King to Toni Braxton is a massive upgrade.

Posted by J

Popularity: 32% [?]



Sound Byte of the Day

22 04 2008

“I’m such an actress, you didn’t see me? I’ll have my own show soon. That’s what it was for. I want to do television all the way around. I screen write — I want to get hands on with all of the sides — as far as production and television, whether reality or sitcom. I’m a creative writer first so you’ll definitely be seeing a lot of me. It was a platform.” -Khia on doing “Miss Rap Supreme” (Source)

Dare to dream, precious.

Posted by J

Popularity: 32% [?]



The Bafoonery of Miss Rap Surpreme (staring Khia)

21 04 2008

First of all, I repent to the Sweet Minty one Himself for neglecting my duties of bring the gospel of the Hot Mess. Secondly, I tried. I really tried. I tried, and I tried, and I tried to stay away from the instant bafoonery of Miss Rap Supreme, but Lawd…I can’t take it any more. Thirdly, I did not know that Khia is a contestant.


I swore she was a judge or a host or something. This is a severe downgrade ma. Now, I admit, I haven’t watched it (purposely), but these clips that I peeped out today is more than enough for me. Peep bafoonery clip #1: Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 31% [?]



Who’s checkin for this?

9 04 2008


What is Khia’s role? At first I thought she was a judge, but MC Search and Yo-Yo are the judges. I guess she’s the mascot or something. Anyways, part of me wants to be interested, because I’m a hiphop head and MC Search was the executive producer for Illmatic (a classic), but after seeing the “White Rapper Show” and the dude who won (which reminds me…where is dude?), I’m feeling iffy about it.

Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 33% [?]



Saaphyri Can’t Be Knocked For Trying

8 04 2008

Saaphyri is still tryin’ it with this lip chap madness and this time she’s done her own version of Lil Mama’s “Lip Gloss”. I was gonna make a joke about her owing royalties but Lil Mama will be lucky if she can BUY some lip chap after the label bills her for all the expenses on this album that ain’t even out yet.

I’ll be honest, I’m about three Patron shots deep and I don’t have much to say about this. Maybe Saaph can go into comedy because I think she would thrive there.

Posted by J

Popularity: 20% [?]



Jail Is The New Sex For Selling Female Rappers

4 04 2008

The queen of wonkiness Foxy Brown will star in her own reality show on VH1 pending her release from prison in the coming weeks. Brown’s show will serve as a spotlight on her life readjusting after being locked up and also promotion for her long-delayed album, Brooklyn’s Don Diva.

Brown, who was sentenced to a year in prison in September of 2007 [for more stupid crimes than I thought were humanly possible -J], is currently imprisoned at the Rose Singer Center for women on Rikers Island.

“The past year has been a difficult one for Foxy, but now, the countdown has started,” a representative for the rapper told AllHipHop.com. “She will be out in the next two weeks, so we are aligning everything for her now.”

Brown will be freed for the May 13 release of her new album Brooklyn’s Don Diva, which features production by Kanye West, Swizz Beatz and others.

Brown’s reality show will focus on the rapper’s post-jail time as she readjusts to life and starts the promotion for Brooklyn’s Don Diva.

The show will chronicle her life and what’s she’s been doing. The music business has changed, she’s been away for eight months, so the show will show her getting her life back on track.”

Foxy Brown also put her eight months in prison to good use, as she has chronicled her experiences for a new untitled book. (Source)

This is the second jail show featuring a female rapper to come out in the past two years. Figures.

I’ve been fooled by the Foxy press machine before, so let’s just say I’m not holding my breath on any of this actually coming to fruition, particularly Kanye and Swizz working on her new album. An anonymous “representative” gave the information? You need more people. I know Babs better put down the cell phone before her MetroPCS minutes run out.

What has Foxy been up to, hmmm, let’s see, maybe SITTING ON HER ASS? Apparently she scratched out some memoirs on some toilet paper too, yippee.

I wonder if Remy will try to parlay her situation into some press. Seeing as her sentence is one hell of a long time, maybe she’ll put on a variety show with the girls from Cell Block E. I’m sure she’ll scan double spork her first week in the joint.

Posted by J

Popularity: 28% [?]



Watch this with a straight face:

3 04 2008

Before I post the video, I would like to let everyone know that Raider_wifee has ruined my chances of entering the Pearly gates for sending me this. I feel like I’m going to hell with a full-ride scholarship. (*forgive me Lawd*):


Posted by Justin Time™

Popularity: 19% [?]



‘American Idol’ > Basic Geography

21 03 2008

Here’s some footage of Sherri Shepherd bitching about how the American Idols didn’t have enough knowledge of The Beatles and their contribution to music during this week’s shows.

In case you didn’t know, Sherri has the distinction of being the only person who isn’t 4 that thinks the world may or may not be flat. I’ll let the irony speak for itself.

Posted by J

Popularity: 27% [?]



Tocarra Gets Brolic On ‘Celebrity Fit Club’

20 03 2008

I’m late on this, but I had no idea she was really wilding out like this. She looks/sounds demented! I was laughing at that white lady judge. The drill instructor was scared Tocarra was gonna put feet on her!

Posted by J

Popularity: 39% [?]



If HE Thinks Your Breath Is Bad…

19 03 2008

video.vh1.com

Warning: adult language.

Flavor Flav is not a clean-looking individual. He reminds me of one of those sponge pads with the rough sides you use to scrape grease off pans. I’m sure flies congregate on his head all the time, have meetings about which pile of dogshit they’re gonna land on next, etc.

It follows then that his breath probably smells like some sort of dying animal that crapped itself in fear. So when I saw this clip, I just about fell out.

I’m not even watching “Flavor of Love” this season, but apparently ya girl Shy has a halitosis problem. If Flavor Motherfucking Flav thinks your breath stinks, it could probably burn the surface of the sun. I’m surprised I didn’t get stank-o-vision watching this video! Someone call HAZMAT.

Shout out to Antina

Posted by J

Popularity: 46% [?]



Your Weekly Dose Of Ignorance: Woman Admits Cheating On Husband For Money

27 02 2008

The new game show “Moment of Truth” on FOX pits contestants against a string of increasingly uncomfortable questions that they must answer truthfully in order to win money. If they answer one untruthfully, they lose all the money they’ve earned from answering other devastating questions candidly.

Watch this chick admit to punking her husband out in a plethora of ways, and then losing at the last minute on a stupid question. This is what you get for being greedy and thinking anything is worth a little bit of scratch. This show is a fiery mess.

Props to jaycurtis for the heads up.

Posted by J

Popularity: 62% [?]



Bust Out Your Soulja Boy Approved Fruity Loops Tracks!

21 02 2008


I HAD to use this picture again ROFL. I love it. It brings me joy.

Oh, I’m bout to TURN THIS MUTHA OUT.

I just wrote this song called “Jam That (I Seen A Leprechaun Say Yeah!)” and it would be perfectly for the Chocolate Crackbaby Troll Flava Flav.

VH1 has launched an online music competition that seeks beats for a new single from Flavor Flav. Through “VH1’s The Track with Flavor Flav,” music producers can upload their original audio tracks for consideration. One producer will be given the chance to record and co-produce Flav’s next single later this spring. To enter, submit original audio beats (no vocals) at www.FlavorOfLoveWorld.com through Thursday, March 13. Three finalists will be chosen by Flav. Fans will then vote online to determine the winner, which will be announced on April 1. (Source)

I’mma sample this video below, mix it up with some Lil’ Jon sine waves, add some Danjahandz drums, some B. Michael-Cox piano chords & strangs, ask Alicia Keys to play them chords for me, get T-Pain to add some vocoding, and then top it off with some Timbaland vintage baby cries (because babies cry when Flav comes around, real talk), record it with my Voice Memo on my cell phone, and send it to him via Yousendit LOL.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

TELL me that isht won’t blow up! Someone page Tayzonday and tell him we need some his breathing on this track — I’mma make him a star-ruh!

*rolls eyes* I wish someone would send a virus to VH1 and shut them down. Seriously. Have New York run around that joint with her two week old cotton panties, I bet she’ll clear that joint OUT. I am SO tired of all these shows. Now Perez Hilton has a show! I’m so dead. Do they really really think anyone wants to hear a new Flava Flav song? If they do, I got a bag of cheeseburgers & a planet to sell them called Mars for cheap!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 46% [?]



Mario Says “F*** It” And Goes For That Check

20 02 2008

Mario will star on the next season of “Dancing With The Stars”, which, in case you weren’t sure, pretty much sums up the status of his career as a singer. Um. Yeah.

Showing that he’s more than just a voice, R&B star Mario is set to show off his footwork on the ABC hit reality series “Dancing With The Stars.”

According to the Baltimore Sun, the 21 year-old will be a part of this season’s new cast, which will see Mario and 11 other celebrities working on their dancing skills. The show, which will debut on March 17, is in it’s sixth season and was the second highest rated show of 2007, behind “American Idol.”

In addition to the young crooner, the show will also welcome famed Olympic figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi, tennis star Monica Seles and actor Steve Guttenberg, among others. (Source)

I mean, shoot, I ain’t mad at Kristi Yamaguchi. I’m sure that Olympics endorsement money is just about SAPPED. DRY. But Mario? I mean I know he’s not Usher but isn’t he selling himself a little short here? Or am I giving him too much credit? I don’t know. Or care, really. “Cryin’ Out For Me” was my cut, though. Apparently not many other people felt the same.

Posted by J

Popularity: 49% [?]



I Thought The Writer’s Strike Was Over!?

14 02 2008

Though VH1 is crap TV central, writer’s strike or no. If Luke gets his celebutard on like Flavor Flav, I will seriously turn in my Black Card and hop on the MJ light-skin train. I can’t take much more of this. I blame Snoop, too. We don’t care about your families really…why drag them into all this scripted mess?!

VH1 has picked up a family-oriented reality show from rap mogul [ROFL @ him being a mogul! They are nice.] Luther Campbell and will begin airing the series in July, reports Allhiphop.com.

Titled “Parental Advisory,” the hour-long show will follow Campbell at home with his children and fiancée, as well as in the office producing adult-themed content.

“Parental Advisory showcases the diversity in my life,” Campbell told AllHipHop.com. “One day I am with my kids, the next day I am in the office auditioning ‘Luke Girls’ and the next day I might be out on the road.”

The series is being produced in conjunction with Campbell’s new company, the Luke Entertainment Group (LEG). (Source)

You know what…THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE ME WRITE A LETTER!

Also, I just want you all to know that I will be casting for “IPS Girls” as well. Please send in photos, videos & resumes — but only if you look like that chick in the Kanye “Flashing Lights” video. She can beat me with a shovel anyday, holla! *fans self*

Who has the nerve to be marrying LUKE!? I got $5 on it that she was either an ex-”Luke’s Girl” or she’s been in at least 2 “music videos”.

Ugh, it’s a slow news day!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 50% [?]