A Hot Mess!

Knocking wigs askew since 2006.

“Smile If You Need To Be In The Studio Working!” *cheese*
Nina Sky, 2/5th’s of Danity Kane & Jadakiss

OK, wow, I was scrolling through WireImage and ummm, let’s just say I had to stop. PAUSE. There was so much WRONG at Styles P.’s Surprise Birthday/Album Release Party on Thursday night that I had to bring it to ya’ll. It’s judgement day! Saddle up!

More pics below the jump! Click pictures for full-size.

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Popularity: 14% [?]

Chris Brown

The good folks over at Blender sent over a quickie interview they did with Mr. Chris Brown. I really think this boy been having sex since he was like, 14 or something. But that’s just me. Who’s momma turned him out!?! I WANT TO KNOW. If it was the other way around, we’d be locking up someone…double standard!

Some choice quote pulls below:

Who was the last person you punched?
I used to fight in the hood in Virginia. Gang fights—not “gang fights,” but fights with people: “Man, forget them!” “Forget you!” Boom! Boom! Boom! I wouldn’t brag, but I didn’t lose a lot.

If you could make one apology, what would it be?
I’d apologize to God for all my sins.

But you’re only 18. What vices do you have?
Basketball, my music and women.

What do you look like naked?
Pretty damn good.

How would you characterize your taste in sex?
I’ll save that for the lady of my life.

Underwear or commando?
Underwear. I wear a new pair of drawers every day. I won’t wash my drawers and put ’em back on. I just throw them away.

LOL @ that last quote. You know he said “drawz” and they spelled it out “drawers.” Oh YT people, we love you!

I will give him this; dude is MAD confident. He better watch out before T-Pain tries to sneak a peek at the meat! Umm, that SOUNDED wrong being typed on the keyboard. Eww.

And he gang fought? Hmmm, I sure it was more “Westside Story” than it was “Westside Connection” ROFL.

Please notice he said WOMEN instead of GIRLS. Chris Brown been shacking with a cougar! LOL, some old black lady like Eartha Kitt from “Boomerang” been wearing him out! Or, ummm, some 30 year old video hoe. But I digress.

“Exclusive” in stores now! LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 23% [?]

“And i dont need a scale for the work / I can eyeball purp, i am not you jerk” - Gorilla Zoe, “Hood Figga”

Hmm, me thinks Ms. Bobbay Kristina (pun intended) has been hitting that sticky icky. Cause kids think/thought it was cool to take a picture WITH a cigarette in their mouth; where I’m from, blowing smoke means you get “high, high, high, highhhhhhhhh.” And it ain’t off a memory, that is NOT Freda Payne!

This picture hit the net amongst much flurry and disdain. It appears the child of Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston is smoking…something…with a friend. This child is 14. They are laying on a hardwood floor.

I think we need to call Auntie Dionne Warwick and see if she SAW this coming back in the day. Or actually, Stevie Wonder saw this last week and hit me up via Braille IM. Children from dysfunctional homes…

Or, it was just peer pressure? Right.

I love me some Whit-Whit. She needs to go get me a switch so I whoop that Spirit of Bobbay outta this child! In the name of Sweet Minty Jesus!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 13% [?]

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Watch the video above — remember that? Akon, HAHA! That’s what you get.

Hip-hop star Akon has been charged by police after a fan said she suffered concussion when he allegedly threw a teenager off stage, hitting her.

The incident occurred in June at Dutchess Stadium in Fishkill, north of New York City.

The singer is scheduled to appear in court next week on charges of endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment.

Injured fan Abby Rosa said she had hired a lawyer over the incident.

Audience members at the concert told Associated Press a spectator lobbed something at the singer and Akon asked the crowd to point out the culprit.

A security guard picked out a 15-year-old and sent him up to the stage, where Akon is said to have picked him up onto his shoulders and threw him into the crowd.

Abby Rosa said the boy landed on her. She told a local newspaper she was later diagnosed with a concussion. (source)

Well, you know what? I think we should file a class-action lawsuit. I get a concussion and massive hemoraghing in my ears whenever I listen to “Don’t Matter.” Can I get paid too?

Real talk though, why is the dude WHO GOT THROWN not filing charges? Did I miss something? Whatever, Akon is skimming all of T-Pain’s profits so I’m sure he will be fine. He’ll have to cut back on his “Coming to America” harem for a week or two so he can pay off that girl. He’ll just sub-in Testicular Pain instead. LOL!

T-Pain: “The Royal Penis is clean your highness!”
Akon: “Thank you Testicular Pain. You live up to your name highly!”

Cause ya’ll know T-Pain likes big meats ROFL. *Terry McMillan Side Eye Of Death*

*dead at myself*

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

While I ain’t ever been hit with a shottie (LOL), as a black man driving something nice, I can 100% relate. LAPD ain’t THAT crazy (see the Rodney King post yesterday LOL).

Novel…ain’t this the dude who had that song “Peach” — “I can eat a peach for hours…”? I ain’t know he was still trying to be an artist, though I knew he’s been writing with Dallas Austin. Looks like Dallas signed him. He was caught up in that whole Joss Stone/Dallas Austin “F*cking for Tracks” fiasco LOL.

Joell Ortiz is slowly on the come up in the mainstream, though he’s been on the rise on the underground/street circuit for a while. Dude is gully though, I like the way he ended the song. That was actually a dope juxtaposition alongside the visual of the video.

I like this joint, it’s deep. Kind of melancholy, but hey, everything can’t be bouncy and clubby!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 10% [?]


Lauren London and Wayne: ENGAGED?

Posted by Erin T. under Get That Money!, Jumpoff, Lil Wayne

Bossip is reporting that a reliable source has informed them that Lauren London and Lil Wayne are engaged.

Word is that she is sporting some big rock on her hand and has been on and off  with him for years.

“They have been on and off for years and have had an open relationship. Lauren is very hood and likes thugs.”


What’s that I smell? Fried cheese wontons, shrimp egg rolls, and a side of bullshit? This just seems very MediaTakeOut-ish to me.

Wayne is so far off the deep end that the only rock he will be giving her will be cut with Arm & Hammer. We all know that ring is from Diddy!

Lauren was linked to to T.I., Pharrell Williams, and Baron Davis before getting with Wayne.

Posted by Erin T.

Popularity: 14% [?]

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

So I promised some folks in the music thread yesterday that I would throwback this joint.

OMG, what ya’ll know about Rebbie Jackson!? LOL. I love this song. And the video??

The $2 lightning? Bad lighting? Rebbie’s prom dress from 19__? The video of that bug crawling around? The flashing snake eyes (ROFL!)? CLASSIC. PRICELESS. I’m sure back then it was a pretty penny though.

I mean, really, from Rockwell to Rebbie, putting Michael Jackson on your hook was GOLD back in the day. Too bad it didn’t help Rihanna in “Please Don’t Stop The Music” LOL.

Rebbie had some other songs but none nearly as big as this one. She kinda just came and went. I mean, she ain’t no Whitney Houston, but neither is Janet LOL. I think Rebbie realized it early on and was like, “OK let me get this money real quick and retire.” Michael & the label probably bankrolled everything LOL.

Oh, Jacksons. We love you. I’mma make my kids rehearse under a belt when I have some. Daddy needs to retire comfortably!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]


Video: 3Deep - “Watch My Shoes”

Posted by The IPS under Videos

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

I saw this on BET yesterday…Oh my…SO much to say. Let’s get to it. *cracks knuckles*

Soooo, in the first 3-5 seconds, I thought this was a “Wipe Me Down” remix. Umm, the beat & that intro sounds just like it. Of course, the beat for this song fits any Southern hip-hop/crunk beat template of the last couple of years. They aren’t even really trying.

To be honest, it sounds like some old Juvenile/Cash Money throwback. I halfway expected Juvie to jump out.

When the first dude started rapping, was anyone else surprised?! His voice…ummm. LOL, it’s a little weird hearing THAT voice come out of that body. He looks like Webbie’s 3rd cousin, but sounds like a 15% retarded Weezy. Yikes.

I will admit “Wipe Me Down” is a guilty pleasure of mine, but even I have my limits. “Watch my shoes”? Really? This just shows you how distorted the black man’s mentality of material possessions has become. Shoes are…shoes. If they are THAT expensive and mean that much to you, leave them at home. Better yet, don’t buy them and invest in something…ANYTHING.

I just get so annoyed when I hear songs like this now. It’s like, sure, we need “feel good/party” hip-hop or whatever, but we can’t seem to get past this…this PHASE. In a month, people will be like, “Who? Oh yeah, that was my ringtone last month.”

I see Lil’ Boozie and Webbie and nem in the background flashing cash. It makes me mad because I can’t pay my bills half the time, but they are getting paid to make songs about how they gonna fight if you step on their all-whites in the club. There is just so much inherently wrong with that statement that I think I am gonna stop here.

Didn’t mean to write a social commentary or anything, but SWEET MINTY JESUS.

If any of you southern folks or ATLiens are jamming this song, I’m calling the Men In Black to come get you! BRING BACK OUTKAST!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 10% [?]

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Ya’ll remember Farrah Franklin? One-time member of Destiny’s Child?

No? Yeah, basically. Please jump up behind me and scare me, because I laughed so hard at this “trailer” that I gave myself the hiccups.

Well, I guess ole girl is starring in a new “movie” that’s sure to be a hit! a straight-to-Youtube favorite!

It’s called “Single Black Female” and well…it’s too obvious what this is maybe a rip-off from.

Tony Rock, Slim Thugg, and…some other negroes are in it. I stopped when I saw fake blood and a zombie-looking woman?

Even the NY African Bootleggers won’t be putting THIS on their blankets. ROFL.

I mean, she cute and all. You know they paid her in Food stamps, Luster’s Pink Oil, “backend royalties,” and a House of Dereon gift card for a free pair of jeans and baby tee.

Good luck, Ms. Farrah! You know what, I’m tagging this as “Video hos” because honestly, Mathew switched her in and kicked her OUT. LOL.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 13% [?]

I mean REALLY. Between this and OJ going to jail (maybe?) I feel like Johnnie Cochran is going to come around the corner singing “We shall overcome!” What is this, 1992 all over again!?:

Rodney King, whose beating by Los Angeles police in 1991 drew international headlines, has been shot, but his wounds are not life-threatening, according to media reports.

Rialto police Sergeant Don Lewis told the Riverside Press-Enterprise that King was hit in the face and arm by shotgun pellets on a San Bernardino street corner Wednesday night. He bicycled to his home in neighboring Rialto to call police and was taken to a hospital [Note: WTF!? - The IPS].

Police said when they arrived at the home, King and others there appeared drunk and few were cooperative in providing information. (source)

Like one of our readers says, “Claude hammercy!”

I won’t even talk about how he rode his bicycle home.

How old is Rodney King? 40? 35? Dude is still riding a bicycle!? I mean, I know gas is high here in Los Angeles, but I mean REALLY get a bus pass.

That is hood mentality right there. Clearly people who ain’t ever really been nowhere ride their bikes around the hood all day.

I can tell you what happened. He got gangsta on one of his girlfriends (”Do you know who I am woman!? I’m Rodney-momofoking-King!”) and she put his tail out and then called her cousin “2 Strikes” Reginald who has warrants out to get that n*gga! Then, Reginald pulled out the non-lethal joint, rolled up on that fool standing in front of Ms. Chow’s Chicken & Liquor and taught him a lesson. Then he row, row, rowed his boat all the way home LOL.

At least, that’s what happened in my mind when I read this. $2 fake internet bucks I’m not far off!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 12% [?]


Whether you have downloaded them, stole them from the bootleg man (shame on you, he trying to hustle too!), purchased them from iTunes, Rhapsody, or eMusic, got them from BitTorrent or jacked them from us (because we got the hookup, holla if ya hear me!), what are your top 5 songs right now?

We often talk about what we DON’T like, so let’s see what ya’ll are listening to! Please include the songs that you know on a normal day I would slap you with a dead trout for listening to (myself included!).

So, here’s my list!

1. John Mayer - “Gravity” (A great song)
2. Imajin - “Anything”
(Unreleased joint available on their Myspace; heat! Heard ‘em perform it live in L.A. and was surprised!)
3. Angelique Kidjo - “Djin Djin” (Educate yourself!)
4. Gorilla Zoe - “Hood Nigga” (that beat goes hard, and I love the way he rides it)
5. Whitney Houston - “So Emotional” (”I don’t why I love him, but I do….woooo!” I stan for Whitney)

As you can see, I have varied tastes LOL.

So, post away and let Sweet Minty Jesus guide your iTunes!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 21% [?]


Video: Hurricane Chris - “Playas Rock” Feat. Boxie

Posted by The IPS under Videos

Hurricane Chris Ft Boxie - playas rock [new]

I actually don’t HATE this joint.

Hurricane Chris is really trying to move past that ringtone money LOL. I feel like that “Hand Clap” joint JUST came out, but I guess it is winter time and people are tired of dancing LOL. Now they trying to get up with they winter boo (holla @ me fellas, I know you know what I mean!) and so it’s time for the slow jams (and I use that term loosely!).

Two club records, then hit em with a jam for the ladies. Of course! How original! LOL.

Anyway, Hurricane “Migraine” Chris brought Mario’s 2nd cousin Boxie on this joint to sing over Earth Wind & Fire’s “Love’s Holiday.” I hope Phillip and Maurice approved this personally LOL. The Boxie dude isn’t too bad either, but he’s channeling Mario for real.

Chris does a pretty good spit job on this, but how is the ending refrain of your song going to be “She said she wanted me to hit with no rubber, no rubber…” Wow. Classy. Sexy.

I’m mad at the safe sex message thrown in their for good effort. If I hear this in a school abstinence assembly, I’m quitting. Though honestly, why play the song? Just show his picture. ROFL!

Let me quit.

Was that Diamond from Crime Mob? LOL. Party in the studio!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]

YouTube - Direct Video Link 

This is one of my top 10 singers. Ever. I LOVE Latoiya Williams. I stan hard for Ms. Williams. It’s a shame that Snoop never put her album out. I hate him to this day for that major faux pas of his. Why Snoop!? Latoiya is more than yours and Jay-Z’s hook singer! Girl has a classic, one of a kind voice. Her runs are crazy and she has such an old soulful timbre to her voice, like early Aretha Franklin. Her and Denetria Champ (who leads the choir at the end of “This Christmas” in the church scene).

In honor of “Sensual Seduction,” I had to post this joint so that ya’ll could see that Snoop had done something similar before. The whole retro/throwback old film noir look. He did this video for his “Doggystyle Allstars, Vol. 1″ compilation that came out a couple of years ago, featuring what I thought was going to be the debut of Latoiya Williams.
But if you’ve never heard this song, please listen. Turn it up. We need to write letters getting someone to put out Latoiya’s record!!

I love your voice Ms. Williams if you ever read this LOL! The IPS got love.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 10% [?]

Cheri Dennis - Portrait of Love ft. Yung Joc & Gorilla Zoe

Man, poor Cheri Dennis couldn’t catch a hit if she had 4 arms and they all had leather catcher’s mitts.

Don’t get me wrong, I think she has a modicum of talent. Whenever she got signed 50-11 years ago, I’m sure she was the business. Now she just comes off a C-rate, Faith Evans-esque singer with medium looks, Rihanna’s stylist, and an even more tepid track/song.

That first dress she had on looks like it came out of Auntie Esther’s “70’s Flashback” memory box! I mean, WHY! Had her looking like a fancy gold tin foil leftover doggie bag.

And I mean, really, Gorilla Zoe? In a suit? That’s like cooking liver with some onions and calling it a steak!

I don’t know why Diddy insisted on pushing his Bad Boy South artists on poor Cheri. Give her some real star power. Like, who else he got…ummm…well, Craig Mack needs a new royalty check, I’m sure?

This just wasn’t the song to launch her “career” from, and now, I fear for her again. She’s gonna get pushed back again and that brand new eyeshadow she just got is gonna sit on the shelf collecting more dust.

She looked good at the silhouette part at the end.

I really want to really hear what Cheri can do, and while “I Love You” was a nice introduction, she needs to bring some heat!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]


New Music: J. Holiday - “Good For Each Other”

Posted by The IPS under New Music

J. Holiday - “Good For Each Other”

I swear, some of ole dude’s unreleased joints are better than some of the joints on his album.

I’ve just decided that J. Holiday can just sang, and I will always get behind a good singer. This song is hot to me, maybe it’s hitting home right now. I think his voice almost sounds good over anything, but put it with a great lyric and he’s even better.

If he ever puts this and “Love of Your Own” to disc I am there.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]

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