A Hot Mess!

Knocking wigs askew since 2006.

January-31-08

YouTube of the Day: Dyme-A-Duzin Is A Fool

Posted by The IPS under LOL, Videos


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

“Chronic Masturbation” is a parody of Snoop’s “Sexual Seduction” so you can already imagine what you are about to click. If you at work, you might want to turn your ish down or put your headphones on ROFL. If you a child, click here. Thanks!

This dude…lawdhasmercy! ” All that I ever do/is play with my meeeaaaaat, meeeeeeat, meeeeeeeeeeeeatttttttttt!”

OK, I choked and coughed up a kidney. Dude is a fool. This almost funny as Snoop’s video. My GOD, YouTube is STUNTIN’ on this label released stuff! I can’t even get over it. I would have NEVER thought of this. *expires*

CRANK DAT BABY LOTION

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 12% [?]

January-31-08

Milk Does A Rhi-Bot Body Good!

Posted by The IPS under Get That Money!, Hotties, Rihanna

Ratchet’s favorite chick Rhi-Bot (LOL kidding, I had to steal that!) does a “Got Milk?” ad.

The picture is fly as hell, though I am wondering bout the yellow nails? Oh well, like Stacy & Clinton say, “It doesn’t have to match, it just has to GO!” OK, so I guess it goes with the furniture. Rihanna is cute, I’d smash (in 5 years).

The copy on the ad? Now that’s another issue. It reads:

“Drink it in. Pop star? Not exactly. Milk is more my move. Some studies suggest that teens who choose milk instead of sugary drinks tend to leaner and the protein helps build muscle. So, shut up and drink.”

The OBVIOUS joke was “shut up and drink.” I mean, whoever wrote that needs to be let go and sent back to Hallmark cause that ish is just corny. And this line: “Milk is more my move.” Now, I’m no English major, but that doesn’t flow right to me. Was that supposed to be “de island talk gwan guhl” coming out or some ish? Iono.

I think having black people in these ads is retarded because most of us are lactose-intolerant. Holla @ me with a Lactaid ad bishes!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 14% [?]

 

WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE

Michael Jackson, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER.

The boy MAAAAAAYBE looks like him, but come on…vitiligo doesn’t affect your genes. Don’t affect your sperm. As dark as them Jackson’s are, and as much as he wants us to believe he is a white lady now, there’s no way he could have two children who look like that!
Even 3T were lightskinned, but come on, they still had black features LOL. These little kids look adopted. Jackson have SKRONG features.

I really don’t care, but this just kind of blew my mind. I spotted it over at blackfolk.

If you believe those are his kids, then I got a planet called Pluto I want to sell you. Step into my office…

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 15% [?]


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

Cassie doesn’t get the runway work? Cheri Dennis + and her pleather trenchcoat are not available?

Now Diddy/Sean John/Pee Sh!tty is looking for models for his Fall ‘08 Fashion Show in NYC.

At the end he says, “if you look like a king….if you look like a queen…”

Just for you folks out there, he didn’t mean Kang Latifah or you queens who were just J-setting to “Last Night”, so we’re clear!

However, I respect Diddy for wanting to diversify his fashion endeavors. He sure does talk with his hands, I just noticed that.
If you’re REALLY interested, “be resourceful!” like Diddy said, and go stalk him at Junior’s send in your model card!

A Hot Mess stand up! Do we have any models LOL? Go try out and give us the scoop.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 13% [?]

I don’t need Sylvia Browne & Montel Williams to predict Soulja Boy’s future — Coolio is the living legend who already serves as the template LOL. Jibbs, Mims, Arab, Pop It Off Boyz, Jason Fox, Shawty Lo…invest that money right or you’ll be on an Internet TV channel looking like a Chuck E. Cheese character very, very soon.

Seriously, you know what? Where are his friends? It ain’t even Red Lobster paying him to look like that!

*Warms up some butter and garlic sauce*

If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em!

Spotted at XXL

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 14% [?]

I think I’m going to have to come up with a new category tag because of this post. “Not Enough Tags In The World” is what it’s going to be called.

Bill Cosby - a staunch critic of some rap music - is set to release a Hip-Hop album called State of Emergency, which will be a sanitized, issue-oriented CD.

Sources told AllHipHop.com that the actor, comedian and philanthropist will address issues like proper parenting, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, Black-on-Black crime and the dropout rate in America’s high schools.

Cosby’s album will not contain any profane language, nor will it offer any denigrating comments towards women.

State of Emergency would be the 35th album for the legendary comedian, actor, who released his first album Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow in 1963. (Source)

The Huxtables are really showing their asses today!

Because who has time to verbally denigrate women when you’re too busy physically denigrating them.

If this actually comes to fruition, I’m gonna quit this bitch and y’all will have to call the MIB to replace me with “K” on this blog. I’d rather listen to the rugrats from Kidz Bop rap than Bill Cosby talking about “DON’T. YEEEEEEWWWWS. THE N-WORD, DOHHHHHHHH. PUDDING!”

Posted by J

Popularity: 14% [?]

January-31-08

Video: Casely - “Emotional”

Posted by The IPS under Videos


MySpace - Direct Video Link 

Casely is a new artist whose local radio play in FL garnered him a major deal with Epic I believe. This is his first single and video for his breakout hit “Emotional.”

I think it’s alright…nothing ground breaking, lyrically or vocally IMO. Not terrible either. The video is decent, though is it just me or does he start to look like Raz B. about 3/4 of the way through the video? LOL. I could see Raz B. singing this joint to Chris Stokes.

He looks like Ryan Leslie and Pleasure from Pretty Ricky had a baby. And he should never wear sunglasses, because his nose becomes the most prominent feature on his face. DNW!!!! (Do Not Want). Not a good look.

I’ll stick with Mario and “Why” — that song is hoooooot.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 12% [?]

Malcolm-Jamal thinks he’s stunting on you hos with his Pirates of the Caribbean couture. I think he robbed Erica Kane for that necklace. Is that a beeper on his belt? The thing that’s bad about this is a lot of this stuff wouldn’t be bad on its own, but he needs to learn the art of “less is more”. It takes a certain person to pull off that shit that’s on the reverse side of his jacket. He’s not one of them and should stop flaunting it around. It’s almost as if he’s saying, “Yeah, this is Ed Hardy (or whatever designer that is). It’s ugly as sin but I can still afford it. And what?” And the Diamonique belt buckle? That’s tacky no matter what you rock it with. I’m not even going to touch his hair (any of it) because it’s an improvement over the dreads he rocked for about 17 years but I’ll let you guys take that one.

Posted by J

Popularity: 13% [?]


Ahhhh, this my ish right here. And this is why I stan for Raphael Saadiq. Dude has never met a bass he couldn’t play the hell out of! Dude writes hits & great songs, period.

Oh wherefore art though D’Angelo? Michael Eugene Archer, I command that you rise up in the name of Sweet Minty Andes Mint Jesus and pickest thou up a microphone and pen!

Seriously, I need some good funky soul in my life.

How many folks thought they could play that lick on the piano? *raises hand* You know exactly what part I am talking about too!

I used to love this video just because of that “slow-mo” effect they had and it was all fuzzy and stuff. It just FIT the song ya know? I wonder what the chick who played his lady in the video looks like now?

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]

Mary J. Blige went on “The Tyra Banks Show” and talked about a bunch of random stuff, like her fear of snakes, her wish for longer hair (zzzz), and having sex on planes (LMAO!). My favorite moment was when she told Tyra she goes to the bathroom standing up (yes, standing up) while she’s in public bathrooms. WTF?! She really let loose here and was open and pretty funny. This was fun to watch, even though she looked like she was rolling her eyes at the very beginning.

Posted by J

Popularity: 13% [?]

Mo’Nique’s ex-man is trying to sell a tell-all book about living with her. Ummmmm. I love Mo’Nique but come on. Anyway, this dude says Mo’nique smokes a lot of pot and sells drugs on the side when the checks are slow to come in.

Actress Mo’nique has hit out at claims made by her ex-fiance that she smokes and deals drugs and once threatened to have him killed.

Marvin Dawson, 28, dated the 40-year-old star of Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins until she ditched him in 2003 because of his criminal record that included theft, gun and drug possession charges.

But Dawson claims Mo’nique is a hypocrite, telling the National Enquirer, “Not only was she an avid marijuana user, but she also did cocaine. And what’s worse, she began making money dealing coke.”

Dawson also accuses her of tax evasion and adds that when they broke up, “Mo’nique threatened my life. She said if I ever told anyone about her lifestyle, she’d hire someone to kill me.”

Dawson claims he is planning to write a book about his life with the star.

But Mo’nique’s lawyer Warren Brown has hit back: “Marvin Dawson has no credibility - he’s a nut. If she was dealing in kilos of cocaine, the DEA (drugs enforcement agency) should have her on their suspects list. See if they have anything on her. That’s dumb.” (Source)

LOL @ Mo’Nique’s lawyer. He’s dropping science! I need to get him the next time I catch a case (just kidding, I’m a good boy).

And so what if Mo smokes a little weed? It’s not like she’s shooting up heroin in a back alley somewhere. She likes to get her puff on and shut the Denny’s down at 4 am. I ain’t mad at that.

Posted by J

Popularity: 13% [?]

January-31-08

3 Stacks Covers Complex

Posted by The IPS under Magazine Scans

I can honestly say I’m a Will Ferrell fan, but I’m not sure I care about this movie…Andre’s acting in the past isn’t really making me jump and be like “OH SNAP I GOTS TO SEE THAT!” He hasn’t done enough to drag me to a Magic Johnson Theatre juuuuuust yet. Not saying he’s bad or nothing.

All I do know is that Will Ferrell looks like Mr. Rogers. “Won’t you be my neighbor?” Oooooh, afternoon delight!

If you care…

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 11% [?]

January-30-08

FYI: Jill Scott Is Hitting The Road!

Posted by The IPS under FYI

Jilly from Philly is gonna hit the road, and I will DEF be in the house (if I can get some free tix from the connects LOL). What? Times is hard. The Gibson ain’t cheap! Raheem DeVaughan will be opening for her…I’ve seen him live…dude is crazy. Def gonna be a hot show ya’ll!

Jill Scott is hands down one of the baddest vocalists out. Her emotion, her lyrics and the music she creates are just awesome and powerful. Her voice isn’t just an instrument — it’s also a conduit back to the old tradition of powerhouse vocalists. Also dropping on Feb. 5th is her new DVD “Live In Paris +”  and I will be copping that (legally). Her last live album was BEASTING on these non-sangin’ hoes! “Fatbaaaaaack taffy! Sho’ll is good to meeeee.”

Sorry.  I got caught up! Her latest album though? Strictly for the grown & sexy. I was listening to it one day and heard something about a “nappy dugout” and passed the hell out. This was before Kelly Rowland went all Martha of the Jungle on us, but I digress.

Check out the tour dates after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 13% [?]

Danity Kane Discuss Their Keyshia Cole Run-Ins

OHHHHH SNAP…Keylolo bout to go get Neffe’ and cut.some.snitches.up! Keyshia just mad that Aubrey’s hair is blonder than hers ROFL.

Danity Kane were on Miss Jones and were talking about how Keyshia Cole has been rude to them not once…not twice…but FIVE times. AND I’M DEAD at them bringing up the Youtube video of her sounding a hot mess. OMG I used to watch this video over and over and over and over and over again.


YouTube - Direct Video Link 

“Oooh Jesus help me please!”

Keyshia…she sounds better now, bless her soul. She’s had some lessons since then…I think this was like, last Easter or something. LOL.

Aubrey needs to stop though — the only microphone I’m sure she’s been singing into lately is Diddy’s and Donnie’s! She’s such a jezebel…Sweet Minty Spearmint Jesus wipe her down with disinfectant. She’s quickly becoming the least favorite…she needs to slooooow it down.

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 13% [?]


LOL I will admit, I was like, WTF is going on?!

Then it made sense at the end ROFL. LOL @ Chris Kattan. I love him.

Riddle me this, Bobby Jones: Why is Macy Gray relevant? LOL. I mean, Amerie could have at least krumped a lil’ bit, you know, since she been practicin’ and all. When I see/hear Macy, I want to SPIT OUT my Pepsi, not drank some mo’.

There’s also another one with Justin Timberlake, but ya’ll know how I feel about that dude:

Yeah, can’t STAND him. You can watch it if you want to. I was glad he hit his nads, hmph. Annoying!!

Oh and BTW, Pepsi > Coke. YAAAAAAHHHHH SHASTA YAHHHHH!

Posted by The IPS

Popularity: 8% [?]

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