A Hot Mess!

Knocking wigs askew since 2006.

I really don’t have the time for this right now. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon? Really? To me this is almost worse than Whitney and Ray J because at least Whitney could say she was gone off that purp, but the only purple Mariah’s on is the 17,000 skank dresses hand-sewn by the same slave she has in her closet.

It appears Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are ready to make beautiful music together.

A source close to Carey has confirmed to Access Hollywood that the music diva is engaged to Nick Cannon.

Reps for both singers were unavailable for comment.

The couple sent the rumor mill into overdrive when 38-year-old Carey (with Cannon on her arm) was seen sporting a dazzling new piece of bling on her ring finger at the after party for her Tribeca film, “Tennessee,” in New York.

When asked at the party what he loved about Mariah, 27-year-old Cannon gave a one-word answer.

“Everything,” he told People.

Up until recently, Carey had been romantically linked to music executive Mark Sudack. However, she never confirmed the romance.

Carey was previously married to record executive Tommy Mottola from 1993 to 1998.

Cannon was previously engaged to Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks in 2007. However, the couple called off the engagement that same year.

This will be the first marriage for the “Drumline” star. (Source)

I’m refusing to say much about this because I’m hoping it’s a bad dream. I love Mariah for her insanity but this is where I get off the train. The thought of them writing songs together makes me want to OD on some Wal-itin*.

*I can’t afford Claritin.

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And for once I’m not talking about a rapper and heroin.

Snoop Dogg has been lined up to work with Lindsay Lohan on her third album, according to reports today.

The rapper has apparently joined a cast of producers including Timbaland and Pharrell Williams, both of whom worked with Madonna on her brand new album ‘Hard Candy’.

Foxnews.com quotes an insider as saying that the album so far sounds ‘amazing’.

Lohan, who is signed to Motown records, released two albums entitled ‘Speak’(2004) and ‘A Little More Personal’ (2005). (Source)

There are so many things wrong with this story I don’t know where to begin. First of all, it’s official that Snoop and these producers would work with a can of soup for the right amount of cash. They need to give it a rest and let somebody else produce something! Damn, are they doing Check-Into-Cash ads next?

Secondly, is she really signed to Motown? That has to be a misprint. The dead Temptations (which at this point is all of them, right?) are spinning in their respective graves over this.

Fox News “insider”? You need more people. I actually have heard a few Lindsay songs that were decent (*ducks*) but that was when she was on that Kelly Clarkson shit. I’m not trying to hear her raspy ass coke voice talking about dancing, having sex, more dancing, and more having sex over some loopy ass Timbaland beat.

On an unrelated note, sorry for the slow updates. Justin is on personal leave right now and Wednesdays are my hell days at school so things might be slow.

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I had several different videos in mind for the throwback today, but this one won when I saw that text at the bottom from THE BOX. Holy hell. That took me back! I used to call the box from my parents’ phone to request stupid ass videos and hope they didn’t catch me. $3.00 for a call? I didn’t remember it being that much! I definitely would have gotten whipped if they had noticed.

Aside from that glorious nostalgia, I realize the quality of the video sucks. I couldn’t find a better one, so just enjoy the song. It was a banger, even though T-Boz was barely on the shit. Richie Rich gets my love for being a fellow Baylien. So does Debra Killings for singing the whole hook and most of the hooks on TLC albums but never getting any shine.

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April-30-08

My Foot Is Like Ow

Posted by J under Go Into Real Estate, Po' Thang

Wow, that title was really corny, even for me. You can see how much I care about this story, judging on how I’m more focused on that.

The Broadway debut of Grammy Award winner Mya, who was scheduled to begin performances in the Tony-winning revival of Chicago May 12, has been postponed.

The platinum recording artist has broken her foot, according to a statement released by the producer of Chicago.

Barry Weissler, producer of Chicago, said in the statement, “In the theatre industry, we are sometimes forced to deal with circumstances beyond our control. But speaking for the entire Chicago creative team, we all wish her a speedy recovery, and look forward to experiencing her portrayal of Velma Kelly as soon as possible.” (Source)

Well, I wish Mya a speedy recovery because I know she needs them checks, but in the meantime I can’t help but ponder the many ways she could have sustained such an injury. Most of them have to do with her working the ho stroll (has anyone seen JR Rotem?) in some giant platforms like the broads from “ANTM” a couple of seasons back. Or maybe she just busted her ass trying to get all Savion Glover on us again.

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…because I don’t, and I can’t think of many who would, but I also didn’t think people would be selling their homes to see the Spice Girls lip-synch either, so there ya have it.

These white boys aged well. It could be airbrush but I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt. They look better than the Backstreet Boys did when they came back and they had only been gone for like five years!

This makes me really sad for Donnie Wahlberg because he is a good actor and deserves better than this. The rest of them (especially Jordan and Joey) would probably do a naked Mexican hat dance on “Bailando con las Estrellas en Español” for fame so I say more power to them.

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Cuba Gooding Sr., who was once a part of the soul group Main Ingredient, sung the National Anthem at the 2008 Soulabration Tournament and butchered that shit. A lot of people are saying he “pulled a Carl Lewis” but I don’t think it’s quite that bad. It’s still pretty bad, though.

He thought he was getting it! At certain points he just sped up for no reason! That had me dying. I laughed at the fact that he was all “TEST” like it made a difference.

Y’all know I’m Mexican so I loved Main Ingredient, they had some jams. They still play “Everybody Plays The Fool” every Sunday here in LA!

Thanks “me”

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I didn’t realize we still cared about Jennifer Hudson but the paps obviously do. She clearly doesn’t even care about herself judging on how she was dressed at LAX a few days ago. She looks like she raided Lindsay Lohan’s and Amy Winehouse’s closets for this flight. Leggings as pants and ballet flats, REALLY? Don’t get me started on that painter’s smock she got from Ross Michael’s. More after the jump.

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DAMN! That’s a rough mug shot.

“CSI’s” Gary Dourdan was busted in Palm Springs yesterday on suspicion of possessing heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the actor was asleep in his car at 5:21 AM when they approached the vehicle and made the bust.

We’re told Dourdan was taken to Palm Springs jail where he posted $5,000 and bailed out. (Source)

I hear he was fired from “CSI” and now we know why. Is he trying to outdo Weezy or something? Palm Springs, really? Was he going to a rave?

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Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama“? This Jeezy rap could have been left on the cutting room floor.

I don’t know why but I like this song. I really do. The video does nothing for me but whatever.

A mess at homegirl swangin’ that bag around at 2:48.

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Popularity: 11% [?]

April-29-08

Lil’ Mama Performs On “Regis & Kelly”

Posted by J under Videos

I have to give it up to Llama for this one. She is still performing her heart out. Precious.

Who’s idea was it to have the little white boy (is it a girl?) in a Oompa Loompa wig tryin’ to hit those moves? That was a mess. And toward the end of the video, Mama looked like she was getting ready to some of those “ball” moves that the drag queens do, which is not helping to quell certain rumors. I’m gonna need to see Mama and Bow Wow in the same room at the same time.

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Can we show Timbaland this video next time he gets cocky about something? This is a mess! The rhymes are so wack they’re almost good. It’s like there was a conscious effort to make them terrible. Missy takes the cake. “Spray ‘em so they die like UGGHHH!”

Magoo looks like some kind of outer limits being in this. Say his name three times in the mirror, I dare you.

This video is pretty cool, though. A mess at them jacking the “Spiderman” theme. That’s when you knew no jingle was off-limits.

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Popularity: 10% [?]

Khia - “Lollipop (Remix)”

DO. NOT. WANT.

By now I’m about used to Khia talking stank about her disgusting lady lumps (her juice box?), but what I’m NOT and NEVER WILL BE prepared for is her trying to do vocal gymnastics like she’s the next Whitney Houston. Fast forward to 3:15 and prepare to fall out. Where’s Simon Cowell when you need him?

Thanks CJ

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Popularity: 15% [?]

April-28-08

Video: Rihanna - “Take A Bow”

Posted by J under Rihanna, Videos

I wish she would “take a bow” and stop making music for three minutes.

I don’t know if Rihanna co-wrote this song or not but when I was listening to these awful lyrics I just got a mental image of her writing them in a Mead notebook covered in star stickers using a Jelly pen. This shit just does nothing for me! It goes nowhere. It’s all the subject matter of “Irreplaceable” without any of the bite.

Rihanna looks nice in this I guess but she also looks bored as hell.

Posted by J

Popularity: 13% [?]

April-28-08

Caption This!

Posted by J under Caption This!

Lil’ Mama on the set of her new video “What It Is (Strike A Pose)”.

Please caption this because there’s too many options and not enough brainpower for me right now.

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Popularity: 13% [?]

April-28-08

If You Thought They Were Big Before…

Posted by J under Hotties, Photos

…wait ’til you see Halle Berry’s two big beautiful EYES post-baby! These celeb chicks waste no time hitting the gym after dropping these rugrats. I ain’t mad. She just better not catch me alone in the elevator a la Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar. “Mama?” One more after the jump.

Pics from Celebrity Gossip

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